DC300z
07-19-2002, 08:36 PM
Im 18 and my girlfriend is also 18,
Were planing on getting married in less then a year,
Both of our families have terible health problems, from weak joints to thyroid problems to cancer on both sides, no one in either of our families seems to live past 50,
Also we've both had problems with our parents and we have a lot of plans that just could never work if we had children, nor do either of us want any,
So with these fatcors in mind, we want a really sure mathod of birth control, pills......not sure enough, condoms, not sure enough,
So were looking into " the operation " for either me or her depending on :
How much it costs
For whom it is more expensive ( me or her)
What are the changes that happen to both sexes after the operation
Is there any way you can get insurance to pay for it? lol
Generally, how much is it, who is it better to have it done, men or women, ?
Also, Is it 100% sure? Ive heard stories of women that have 3 children after the operation etc.
So, please give me some info on this and help me decide who would be better off having it done , me or her,
Thanks
Were planing on getting married in less then a year,
Both of our families have terible health problems, from weak joints to thyroid problems to cancer on both sides, no one in either of our families seems to live past 50,
Also we've both had problems with our parents and we have a lot of plans that just could never work if we had children, nor do either of us want any,
So with these fatcors in mind, we want a really sure mathod of birth control, pills......not sure enough, condoms, not sure enough,
So were looking into " the operation " for either me or her depending on :
How much it costs
For whom it is more expensive ( me or her)
What are the changes that happen to both sexes after the operation
Is there any way you can get insurance to pay for it? lol
Generally, how much is it, who is it better to have it done, men or women, ?
Also, Is it 100% sure? Ive heard stories of women that have 3 children after the operation etc.
So, please give me some info on this and help me decide who would be better off having it done , me or her,
Thanks
Sponsor
mlgable
07-19-2002, 10:18 PM
There are no specific changes when either sex has it and yes it is usually covered by insurance. It is considered a for sure thing but yes there have been accidents that occured when tubes accidently grew back together or if a man doesn't get his sperm count checked as ordered but these are not the norm. It is probably easier for the man to have a vasectomy as they do these right at the office but a women having a tubal ligation has to have day surgery. I have had a tubal ligation and things are fine. Perhaps some other posters will offer you more pros or cons of each one.
nicola76
07-22-2002, 08:05 AM
In my own personal opinion at 18 both you and your girlfriend are way too young to even consider a permanent form of birth control. You have your whole lives ahead of you! What's the rush to sterilize yourselves?! Why not just use condoms or the pill for several years before taking this drastic measure?
At 19 I was in a long-term relationship and we also said that we didn't want kids. We even talked about one of us getting an operation to guarantee we wouldn't get pregnant. Well the realtionship didn't work out and I'm now 25 (26 in August) and due to be married in Setempber to a wonderful man. We both want children and look forward them so much.
What I'm saying is most of the time what we want at 18 or 19 isn't the same as what we come to want at 25 or 30. What if one of you gets the op done and then 5 or 10 years down the line you decide you want kids? Trust me it happens all the time.
As far as the whole health issue thing goes...well show me a family that doesn't have health problems! My family has arthritis, cancer and health disease but that's not going to scare me out of having children.
All I'm saying is that you and your girlfriend should really think about this. Use condoms and the pill together for at least a couple years and see how your attitudes change.
Take care and best of luck to both of you!
Nic :wave:
At 19 I was in a long-term relationship and we also said that we didn't want kids. We even talked about one of us getting an operation to guarantee we wouldn't get pregnant. Well the realtionship didn't work out and I'm now 25 (26 in August) and due to be married in Setempber to a wonderful man. We both want children and look forward them so much.
What I'm saying is most of the time what we want at 18 or 19 isn't the same as what we come to want at 25 or 30. What if one of you gets the op done and then 5 or 10 years down the line you decide you want kids? Trust me it happens all the time.
As far as the whole health issue thing goes...well show me a family that doesn't have health problems! My family has arthritis, cancer and health disease but that's not going to scare me out of having children.
All I'm saying is that you and your girlfriend should really think about this. Use condoms and the pill together for at least a couple years and see how your attitudes change.
Take care and best of luck to both of you!
Nic :wave:
Kopoli
07-28-2002, 06:01 AM
Hi there! I had the tubal ligation about a year ago and my insurance covered 90% of the procedure and dr. visits, etc. I ended up paying about $150 bucks for the whole deal. I always knew I didn't want children and I've been with my spouse for 7 years, we both have the same feelings on the subject. I actually wanted the surgery when I was younger but couldn't locate a doctor willing to do it. Anyhow, if you check out family planning you can talk to them about it and give you some better ideas. Hope I helped you out a bit!
-Cheers
-Cheers
Angie E
07-28-2002, 10:57 AM
Considering your age, you will be very lucky if you find a dr. that will perform the sterilization. Most OBGYN's won't perform them on women unless they have had at least one child and are a minimum of 25 years of age.
Think about this. Let's say, God forbid, something happens to one of you and the other is left alone. Down the road, you may fall in love with someone who wants to have children. And let's say, you have a change of heart and would really love to have a child with this person. What then?
Birth control if used correctly is very effective. No point in doing something this drastic at your age. I believe everyone here on the board who is over the age of 18 will tell you that how you feel now will change drastically in the next 10 years. You will not feel the same about certain things, and this probably being one of them.
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 07-28-2002).]
Think about this. Let's say, God forbid, something happens to one of you and the other is left alone. Down the road, you may fall in love with someone who wants to have children. And let's say, you have a change of heart and would really love to have a child with this person. What then?
Birth control if used correctly is very effective. No point in doing something this drastic at your age. I believe everyone here on the board who is over the age of 18 will tell you that how you feel now will change drastically in the next 10 years. You will not feel the same about certain things, and this probably being one of them.
[This message has been edited by Angie E (edited 07-28-2002).]
MelNor
07-28-2002, 02:19 PM
Do not sterilize yourselves at such a young age. I agree with the other posters who also suggested this. I don't mean to mention the worse that can happen but my situation is somewhat different but none the less shows how your plans and ideas of what is best for you change over years.
At the age of 24 I was in a relationship with 2 children and I knew I didn't want to bring any more children into this relationship as it was getting bad. I convinced me doctor to tie my tubes. I had the operation in June and then in July my youngest child died in a tragic accident. Soon after, what was left of my relationship went down the drain. Here I am 7 years later, married to a new great guy and we can not have children. The operation was the biggest mistake I ever made...I just wanted to confirm what the others said about things changing...sometimes these changes can be forseen but most likely they can not. Please reconsider!
At the age of 24 I was in a relationship with 2 children and I knew I didn't want to bring any more children into this relationship as it was getting bad. I convinced me doctor to tie my tubes. I had the operation in June and then in July my youngest child died in a tragic accident. Soon after, what was left of my relationship went down the drain. Here I am 7 years later, married to a new great guy and we can not have children. The operation was the biggest mistake I ever made...I just wanted to confirm what the others said about things changing...sometimes these changes can be forseen but most likely they can not. Please reconsider!
Kopoli
07-28-2002, 04:43 PM
I was under 25 and with no children when I had the surgery. You just need to find the right doctor, it can happen for you!
Blastoff9600
07-28-2002, 08:41 PM
Well for women it is rare for them to find doctors who will do it under the age of 25.
But for men there isnt a set age or even a set number of children for them. Men can have a vasectomy done when they want,even at the age of 18.
To be honest I wont say it shouldnt be done simply based on age alone. It is a personal choice that does require a great deal of thought.
I know a few guys who have had it done when they were younger and they dont regret it in the least. Matter of fact I know one guy who had it done before he even got married. He never wanted kids and made sure he wouldnt.
It is cheaper and easier for men to get done than women. The healing time is also shorter for men.
Just be careful and make sure thisis truly wht you want. Of course if you either of you or both have it done you can always adopt kids later if you change your minds about having kids. I bet that is an idea for you both to consider...
But for men there isnt a set age or even a set number of children for them. Men can have a vasectomy done when they want,even at the age of 18.
To be honest I wont say it shouldnt be done simply based on age alone. It is a personal choice that does require a great deal of thought.
I know a few guys who have had it done when they were younger and they dont regret it in the least. Matter of fact I know one guy who had it done before he even got married. He never wanted kids and made sure he wouldnt.
It is cheaper and easier for men to get done than women. The healing time is also shorter for men.
Just be careful and make sure thisis truly wht you want. Of course if you either of you or both have it done you can always adopt kids later if you change your minds about having kids. I bet that is an idea for you both to consider...
Theresa15
07-29-2002, 02:56 AM
I have been told, and have read many times, that it is ALOT easier for the man to get this done rather than the woman. The woman has to go for a full day surgery, may get scars, takes longer to heal, and a lot of the time, the woman loses her sex drive, or at least it decreases. This isn't ALWAYS, but a lot of the time, this is what happens. For the man, he goes in, a few hours later it's done, and he has about 3 days and he's feeling fine. It is also cheaper for the man, and as others mentioned, it might be a pain in the arse to even find someone to do it to your GF.
It's a personal decision; do what you think is right. However, I think that you should give it a few years before you decide to do something permanent. In ten years, things can change DRASTICALLY! Think what it was like 10 years ago. You were probably thinking girls were "icky", and didn't want to go near them. Deffinitly not like that now eh? Things change A LOT with time, even if it is in different respects.
Hope you make the right decision. Good luck!
Oh P.S. It is not 100%, but pretty damn close. Like 99.99999% LOL! There are only a few VERY rare cases where people have children after surgery. In my opinion, it is fate that they had children if even after surgery they still concieved.
It's a personal decision; do what you think is right. However, I think that you should give it a few years before you decide to do something permanent. In ten years, things can change DRASTICALLY! Think what it was like 10 years ago. You were probably thinking girls were "icky", and didn't want to go near them. Deffinitly not like that now eh? Things change A LOT with time, even if it is in different respects.
Hope you make the right decision. Good luck!
Oh P.S. It is not 100%, but pretty damn close. Like 99.99999% LOL! There are only a few VERY rare cases where people have children after surgery. In my opinion, it is fate that they had children if even after surgery they still concieved.
L144S
07-30-2002, 09:24 PM
Mel Nor,
i am so sorry for the loss of your child. but good news for you, you do have hope for another child if you want. You could very well do IVF. you have good eggs and a uturus to grow them in as long as your husband has sprem you could very easily get pregnant again.
As for the original topic. If pregnacy is an issue for you, I say doubble up. Condoms and the pill are very effective together.
-L
i am so sorry for the loss of your child. but good news for you, you do have hope for another child if you want. You could very well do IVF. you have good eggs and a uturus to grow them in as long as your husband has sprem you could very easily get pregnant again.
As for the original topic. If pregnacy is an issue for you, I say doubble up. Condoms and the pill are very effective together.
-L
Kopoli
07-31-2002, 04:40 AM
The loss of sex drive after the surgery is an old wives tale. And as far as recovery goes, it's 2-3 days usually, I went to work the following day. Mel Nor, on the subject of not being able to have children, why not adopt? There are so many unwanted babies/children out there needing a good home. Just a thought!
indygirl
08-19-2002, 02:58 AM
I will have to agree with some of you.. I feel with your age your both way to young to have anything like that done. I would say to both of you , if you have to have sex, then why not check into the shots that you can take, or the IUD's that you can get in your arm.
Don't go and get you tubes tied at that age, because you will regret it, like I have and now am.. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant with my son who is now 9. Had my daughter at age 18, she's 8 and got my tubes tied right after she was born. My ex husband wanted to have more and I didn't at that time. Two at 19 was enough for me. I quit school, and choose to become a full time mother and wife. I didn't think about what if we get divorce, or my mind changing at some point on wanting kids. Don't ever say that you won't change your mind, Never say Never.
I got divorced about a year after I had that done. I was glad to a certain point, but when I met my husband that I am married to now, (4years Sept 1) I really hate the decision that I choose back then. We are wanting a baby and now we have to choose what option to take. Its not going to be a easy as what it could have been, if only I had listened to my mother and friends. I thought I knew what my life held for me in the future. I thought I was going to be with the man forever. Well I am not.. So please take my advise as well as all the others, don't go to that much of a extreme, you or him.. There are other options.
Good luck, and God bless
Don't go and get you tubes tied at that age, because you will regret it, like I have and now am.. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant with my son who is now 9. Had my daughter at age 18, she's 8 and got my tubes tied right after she was born. My ex husband wanted to have more and I didn't at that time. Two at 19 was enough for me. I quit school, and choose to become a full time mother and wife. I didn't think about what if we get divorce, or my mind changing at some point on wanting kids. Don't ever say that you won't change your mind, Never say Never.
I got divorced about a year after I had that done. I was glad to a certain point, but when I met my husband that I am married to now, (4years Sept 1) I really hate the decision that I choose back then. We are wanting a baby and now we have to choose what option to take. Its not going to be a easy as what it could have been, if only I had listened to my mother and friends. I thought I knew what my life held for me in the future. I thought I was going to be with the man forever. Well I am not.. So please take my advise as well as all the others, don't go to that much of a extreme, you or him.. There are other options.
Good luck, and God bless
Blastoff9600
08-19-2002, 12:38 PM
IUD do not go in the arm,an IUD goes in the uterus hence the Intrauterine Device. The shots can also cause some long term problems. Depending on which you go on. I havent heard to much about Lunelle which is only a monthly shot. But Depo Provera did some horrible things to me that is for sure. I had to go through over three years of secondary infertility thanks to that shot. Not a fun thing to know I caused my fertility problems becuase of a simple choice of birth control.
The stuff that goes in the arm is called Norplant.
The stuff that goes in the arm is called Norplant.
Kitty215
08-21-2002, 06:39 PM
There's a new kind of birth control out now called NuvaRing. I haven't tried it but it's suppose to be 99% effective and use the same hormones as the pill only is less likely to be screwed up. Look into that!
scbagrrrl
08-22-2002, 08:27 PM
I'm on Lunelle (the monthly shot) and love it. No remembering to take a pill every day. I give myself the shot - did it today as a matter of fact. It's a very low level estrogen - which I have to stick to b/c of Lupus. No break-outs, no mood swings, no weight gain, no cramps... Two thumbs up!