Hey everybody! My husband and I have been talking about having a threesome (with another woman) for the past year and I have a few questions I was hoping to get some feedback on.
It is something I would like to try because I am curious and its something new-however I also know how much it would get my husband off. Does the fact that I want to try this make me bisexual or just curious? I never really thought of being with another woman until we started talking about it.
Also, is it possible to do this safely (I'm worried about STD's and such) and with no strings attached on the part of the other female? And where does a person go to find someone who might be interested in something like that? I have a friend who is bisexual and has expressed interest, but I don't know that I would feel comfortable doing this with her because it might ruin our friendship. But I'm also concerned about a total stranger because we wouldn't know the history of that person, and that's like playing Russian Roulette nowdays. Is this something that can be done without negative results on a marriage? Or does it cause more problems than its worth? Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks!!

my personal opinion would be that it's more trouble than it's worth. ask yourself this, would you be ok with WATCHING your husband have sex with another woman and KNOWING that he loves it? the next day, next week, next month, will you wonder if he thinks about her or if he's picturing her while having sex with you? to me, it wouldn't be worth it. like you said, i'd be worried about std's. i think i'd prefer to keep my husband to myself and not share! but to each their own! :D

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~ Kim ~
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I'd be careful, one of my best buddies marriage ended after a threesome, his wife couldn't deal with the jealousy....the third party was a close friend of hers and they were always together, just too much to deal with for her.

Hi everybody, thanks for the posts so far. I just wanted to take a sec to add a little info to my first post regarding this topic. In answer to your question, Kim, yes, it would bug me to watch my husband go at it with some other female so that's why at this point it would just be a spectator sport for him. He can watch, but he isn't supposed to touch her. (he can touch me all he wants! :D)
Anyways, we've talked about it(for over a year now) and have decided that there will be some ground rules to be followed if we do this. If the rules can't be agreed upon beforehand, then I won't do it--its as simple as that. Its still in the planning stages, and I just don't know if the worries are gonna be worth it, you know? I'd appreciate more feedback from you folks out there-has anyone done this and what were the consequences? Was it enjoyable or did the worries overshadow the whole experience?
Thank everyone!!

A threesome is not something I've experienced or am interested in since I couldn't stand it to see my guy with another woman or even looking at her in that context. However, to answer your question about how one would go about finding a partner, try lavalife. It is an online dating service. It has an Intimate Encounters section that will blow your mind.

l agree with kim http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif your husband could also be highly offended by watching you.... a recipe for disaster. if he wants to watch you and you do it what will you say when he wants to "do it"???

I couldn't stand the thought of a S.O. with another guy. But that's just me. Do what's best for you. That's pretty much all I can advise.

hello,

let me just say that I disagree with Navalhawk...my parents have been married for 30 something years and never felt the need for a threesome...and they are very secure individuals, not jealous or anything. Now for me personally, been there done that...and I think it sucks. I think it is highly over-rated. If you and your husband want to then go for it. But I have had my first marriage destroyed by that and even a long term relationship destroyed w/ the threesome thing.

Each to their own. But it is not for everyone. And I think that if you are married you should not want to bring another man or woman into your bedroom. But that is just me.

Sinnrah

I'd advise against it. I was the "third party" in one of these and the man pretty much fell in love with me (not encouraged) and ended up leaving his wife (no,not for me as I didn't want him) when he realized that someone else was able to satisfy him better.

As far as "rules" go...what is that saying? RULES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN!

I would say that it's best to avoid acting this out in reality. My fiance and I used to talk about it lots, and it even caused some conflict later on without us even acting on it. I would say that you should fantasize about it, talk about it, whatever, just DON'T carry this out. Not worth the risk!!

And im gonna say how do you trust each other???? seems abit odd to me, your both lacking something to do this but HEY each to there own http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif i dont see how you can trust each other not to fall in love etc these things happen :wave:

Whose idea was it in the first place? Who came up with the rule that your husband could only touch you? You seem a little reluctant.

To me, that's what marriage is!!! Being faithful to one person. It's allright to fantasize, but not to actually do anything. Like the saying goes, You can look, but you can't touch. It's disrespectful.

Almost every couple that I know that has had a threesome has had it explode negatively. You need to ask yourself, "is having this threesome worth destroying my marriage over?"

There are the many cases where both sides are comfortable with it and use it as a tool to bolster their sex lives. It may happen with you, but would you bet the bank on it?

Truth is, I would never even consider a threesome. True, it has crossed my mind thinking about what it would be like, but I know I would never do it. I'm a strong and firm believer that it's wrong. *shrug* To each their own, but I would advise not doing it unless yoou are willing to risk certain things. Even if it is with a mutual friend, it can still turn out ugly, not to mention ruin a friendship and even marriage. The same could result if it was just a complete stranger. You may never see them again, but you have to live with the facts and reoccuring memories, flashbacks etc. Just be sure you know and understand the consequences, even if they are slim, before you decide on anything! :)

I guess every couple dreams of a threesome. But my parents found out the hard-way. My parents wanted to have a three some and they did. Now my mom is leaving my dad to be with some lady. So now I disagree with anything that comes between two people that are in love. Don't mess up something that you already have!!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Stef
good luck
p.s. and don't do it especially if you have kids!!!

My best friend's marriage broke up because as a "birthday present" to her husband, a female friend of hers joined them for a threesome. Thay went all out, went and got matching teddies, got their hair and nails done and everything. My friends husband couldn't quit having sex with the other girl. My friend walked in on them in her own house having sex in her bed. NObody can decide for you, however, I wouldn't think it would be worth it. Wouldn't you always wonder if something was going on behind your back?

I participated in a threesome a few years ago with a couple I met through answering their ad in a local newspaper. I met the wife for lunch, we checked each other out, and she later invited me over to their home for dinner and an evening. We had a enjoyable time and I would definitely try it again. But here's a few things to keep in mind. It will be fun sex but not great sex. First of all, you're with people you don't know, and secondly you have two people to consider and try to satisfy, instead of just one. As far as STDs go, there is always a risk since you don't know the people or their background. It seems though that if you are willing to indulge in a risky behaviour, you have to accept the risks. I don't think that fantasizing about having sex with a woman in a three some makes you bisexual. If you go ahead with it and enjoy the sex with the woman and want more, then maybe your orientation is not as fixed as you thought. I have heard it said and believe it's true that most threesomes do not work out in the longer term. Like I said it is often difficult for two people to find satisfaction sexually, never mind three. And then there are the relationship issues for the married couple to deal with. I got the impression from the couple I was with that the husband wanted to try anal sex and the wife didn't, and they thought a threesome might be part of the answer. Still, for me the experience was fun, different and worth trying again. Good luck!

From a males point of view, don't do it. My Ex became obsessed w/ the idea of a threesome. I thought "Cool!"
It is, after all, what most men want. I started thinking about women in our circle of friends that I figured wouldn't mind trying.
After a while, I started thinking about what it could do to our marriage, and told my ex this. She wound up going out and having affairs w/ several women. Long story short, she's my "EX".
I am very glad I did not give into a threesome.

Sparky

First of all I want to say thanks to eveyone who posted a reply to my topic. After reading everyone's advice and doing some serious thinking on the subject, I have decided that it is definitely worth more trouble than I want to deal with at this point. I don't want to deal with the problem of someone that doesn't understand the meaning of "one-time only" and "no-strings attached". It sounded like it might be fun, but, realistically, it should probably stay in the "fantasy" category. Thanks again everyone!!
AJ

I have often wondered what it would be like to be with a woman.but has far as being married and doing it not a good idea i guess im married too and i dont think i would like my husband to touch other woman maybe he could watch lol :D