sillytycoo
09-16-2002, 11:02 AM
I have an intresting question . My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs. on and off and thru out that time we often had sex several time thru out a week even when we weren't together.We have lived together for 3 yrs. We recently just got married back in May of this year. Now we hardly ever have sex just three times in one mnth . We are both in our late 20's so we are still young. My weight hasn't really changed since we gotten married . I could stand to lose a lose a few pounds but I have been like this for well over 10 yrs.I ask him why the lack of sex he's says it isn't me . But to honest not much has changed since we have gotten married except we hardly ever have sex anymore.Whenever I touch him sexual he backs away and he really doesn't touch me anymore. Does anyone know why this might be ? Has this happen to anyone else before? I feel like I've done something wrong , any ideas would be great.
[This message has been edited by sillytycoo (edited 09-16-2002).]
[This message has been edited by sillytycoo (edited 09-16-2002).]
[This message has been edited by sillytycoo (edited 09-16-2002).]
[This message has been edited by sillytycoo (edited 09-16-2002).]
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Lady^
09-16-2002, 03:06 PM
Hmmm, I had the same problem with my first husband...everything was great in the sack until we got married, then it just stopped happening. It tooks a few days before we even consumated our marriage! I made him get a physical, etc., but no problem was found. The few times we did have sex it was over in about 30 seconds cause of how long it had been since the last time. His problem wasn't physical...his eqipment worked fine. It was mental. He just didn't want to do it anymore once I was his wife. Right before I left him I talked to his ex-wife and she said she went through the exact same thing...and he was in his early 20's at the time! He has no problem screwing a girlfriend but doesn't want to do it to his wife. Some sort of mental issue, I guess, but I wasn't gonna live like that.
sillytycoo
09-16-2002, 05:03 PM
Thanks for the advice I never heard of anything like that before but, it makes sense . I just hope that's not the case with my husband . It really seems like a mental thing because everything works fine it just he never wants it.
Sillytyoo
Sillytyoo
magee
09-18-2002, 07:04 AM
I had this boyfriend, and our sex life was great. He couldn't keep his hands off me. He wanted me to move in with him, and I asked him if he would make love to me every night. He said yes. Well, almost immediately, the sex dried up. He'd say he was too tired, we'll do it in the morning... I'd wake up and he'd be out raking leaves or something. We'd have sex maybe once a month. I was very patient. There was nothing wrong with his equipment, either, and he'd wake up with a hard-on every morning. He just wouldn't do anything with it. I don't know if it was because he saw me in a "mother/wife" role, or if it was a case of, once he got me where he wanted me, he didn't give bother to try anymore. I finally left him.
niecsey
09-18-2002, 09:57 AM
youve got to remember that all the excitment naturally wears off after a while, its up to the couple to make it work, maybe hes stressed, or his sex drive has fallen. l think its just as i said the first 'getting to know you' years have gone by if its a prob talk to him make him listen good luck :wave:
College Guy 1982
09-18-2002, 11:06 AM
been with my GF for like a year and half, and recently things started dying down, last couple months... we used to do it like every night. But we are together all the time.. I noticed that things have died down so I did something about it..
but realized I am 20... sometimes I am tired.. and sex is great, but after the newness wears off, it's not the MOST important things.. sometimes sleep is worth more so that you can function the next day.. also..
for the females who are talking about this.. I always have to Initiate and take controll... if I was tired, and my girlfriend, just climbed on top, I definately wouldn't refuse..
Keep that in mind.. ACTUALLY START the process yourself, and it's doubtful that you run into issues. also if he is tired, remember that Sex doesn't HAVE TO BE only at night...
grab him during the Day and mess around, try some risky things to make it exciting again... public foolin' around (petting under a table, will leave a guy mixed up for a few hours, waiting to get home)
hope that helps some. (oh and I am banging often again, after I realized that we had slowed down, and after some other chick started hittin on me, made me want my girl back, since I was renewed in my sense of attractiveness. heh
but realized I am 20... sometimes I am tired.. and sex is great, but after the newness wears off, it's not the MOST important things.. sometimes sleep is worth more so that you can function the next day.. also..
for the females who are talking about this.. I always have to Initiate and take controll... if I was tired, and my girlfriend, just climbed on top, I definately wouldn't refuse..
Keep that in mind.. ACTUALLY START the process yourself, and it's doubtful that you run into issues. also if he is tired, remember that Sex doesn't HAVE TO BE only at night...
grab him during the Day and mess around, try some risky things to make it exciting again... public foolin' around (petting under a table, will leave a guy mixed up for a few hours, waiting to get home)
hope that helps some. (oh and I am banging often again, after I realized that we had slowed down, and after some other chick started hittin on me, made me want my girl back, since I was renewed in my sense of attractiveness. heh
magee
09-18-2002, 11:29 AM
Collegeman,
Your advice is great. However, my ex b/f didn't respond to any of that. I tried to initiate all the time, and was rejected. My self-esteem plummeted. I tried all kinds of sexy little tricks, going out in a skirt and then informing him I had no panties on at dinner, surprising him by showing up dressed in fishnets and boots and trying to seduce him... etc...
I tried it all.
It didn't work.
I think that for most men, it probably would, but not for this man.
The important thing I had to remember was that it was HIS problem, not mine. Like I said, it did a number on my self-esteem for a while. Fortunately, I got past that.
Your advice is great. However, my ex b/f didn't respond to any of that. I tried to initiate all the time, and was rejected. My self-esteem plummeted. I tried all kinds of sexy little tricks, going out in a skirt and then informing him I had no panties on at dinner, surprising him by showing up dressed in fishnets and boots and trying to seduce him... etc...
I tried it all.
It didn't work.
I think that for most men, it probably would, but not for this man.
The important thing I had to remember was that it was HIS problem, not mine. Like I said, it did a number on my self-esteem for a while. Fortunately, I got past that.
sillytycoo
09-18-2002, 07:09 PM
Thanks for the advice .However I'm still confused because the newness factor has worn off along time ago yrs. ago as a matter of fact. I've tried little things to get things going and he refuses. I realize sex isn't everything but we hardly ever have sex these days. I just don't know what to about it .