OkayItsJustMe
09-11-2003, 01:18 AM
I was an ADD child back then when no one really knew what it was. We were just seen as undisciplined kids. I remember adults and teachers criticizing me or making comments on how bold I was, and doing poorly in school because I was squirmy and couldn't concentrate.
Although those are painful memories, I can't imagine what my life would have been, had I been put on some mind altering drug with all kinds of horrible side effects.
This has been a lifelong struggle but one thing that is important to me is having the feeling of being me. I have taken drugs for depression before, and I don't like how they make me feel and haven't stayed on them.
Even if I will always be scatterbrained, I have learned how to cope in this world and basically without drugs. One of the hardest thing to cope with, though, is having to deal with people who don't understand that although we may see and do things differently, we are still just as bright and innovative as the next guy. We may not be able to adhere to the normal school system and thrive in it, yet we are special in our own ways.
Sometimes we can't stop to listen - even when someone says 'no'. We have so much going through our minds that structure is sometimes a feeling as stifling as being caged. This does not mean that we can't learn the difference between right and wrong and we will probably have to learn more things the hard way but we will learn them well, when we do. We will learn to be polite and to have the social skills required to make it in this world. We will be criticized and we will be cajoled but as long as we have a solid foundation, that will only help to make us stronger.
We do not need to eat candy or other sugary, processed dyed foods, because our systems go into overload. We need a little bit more patience, from the adults around us, than the next guy. We need a little bit more attention, too. We can focus, if you will help to make things interesting enough for us - if you will take the time to learn what interests us, and then use it to teach us things. Otherwise, we may learn to hyperfocus on things that may not always for our good. In the end, though, I believe we need positive stimulation, but I still question the idea of drugs being the only answer to this.
Would drugs have made me feel 'normal' so I didn't have to feel that I was different? Would they have made life easier for the people around me who had to deal with my 'inadequacies'. Would they have helped me to learn more quickly so that I could do well scholastically and become 'someone'. But would I have been 'me'? Was there really something wrong with me that I needed to be drugged for? Aren't we learning to live in a world full of diversity now? Instead of 'making' us normal, why can't we make a place for us, instead???
Although those are painful memories, I can't imagine what my life would have been, had I been put on some mind altering drug with all kinds of horrible side effects.
This has been a lifelong struggle but one thing that is important to me is having the feeling of being me. I have taken drugs for depression before, and I don't like how they make me feel and haven't stayed on them.
Even if I will always be scatterbrained, I have learned how to cope in this world and basically without drugs. One of the hardest thing to cope with, though, is having to deal with people who don't understand that although we may see and do things differently, we are still just as bright and innovative as the next guy. We may not be able to adhere to the normal school system and thrive in it, yet we are special in our own ways.
Sometimes we can't stop to listen - even when someone says 'no'. We have so much going through our minds that structure is sometimes a feeling as stifling as being caged. This does not mean that we can't learn the difference between right and wrong and we will probably have to learn more things the hard way but we will learn them well, when we do. We will learn to be polite and to have the social skills required to make it in this world. We will be criticized and we will be cajoled but as long as we have a solid foundation, that will only help to make us stronger.
We do not need to eat candy or other sugary, processed dyed foods, because our systems go into overload. We need a little bit more patience, from the adults around us, than the next guy. We need a little bit more attention, too. We can focus, if you will help to make things interesting enough for us - if you will take the time to learn what interests us, and then use it to teach us things. Otherwise, we may learn to hyperfocus on things that may not always for our good. In the end, though, I believe we need positive stimulation, but I still question the idea of drugs being the only answer to this.
Would drugs have made me feel 'normal' so I didn't have to feel that I was different? Would they have made life easier for the people around me who had to deal with my 'inadequacies'. Would they have helped me to learn more quickly so that I could do well scholastically and become 'someone'. But would I have been 'me'? Was there really something wrong with me that I needed to be drugged for? Aren't we learning to live in a world full of diversity now? Instead of 'making' us normal, why can't we make a place for us, instead???
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dice
09-11-2003, 01:54 AM
Well said. I fully agree. Let's reach these kids the old fashion way, with interesting topics, a relevant topics. They can learn. Right brain vs. Left brain. Choose the right style and teach it. In the end, all children learn.
Crazy Carrie
09-11-2003, 01:58 AM
I just want to point out that not all people take meds to make them "Normal". Some, like myself, do not function responsibly without them. Without the ability to focus and remain attentive I have put my childrens lives at risk, and that is not a risk I am willing to take again. I will do whatever it takes to keep myself and my family safe. I just think that some people at different points in their lives may be able to deal efficiently without meds, while others may rely on them for the simple sake of ensuring they are able to take care of thier responsibilities.
Everyone has thier own opinion and I think that each of us know what may best for ourselves in any given situation.
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Carrie
Everyone has thier own opinion and I think that each of us know what may best for ourselves in any given situation.
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Carrie
OkayItsJustMe
09-11-2003, 09:23 AM
Good point Carrie. My mother has ADD as well. She was also Valedictorian of high school and went on to graduate University with honors. She went on to become a teacher, but couldn't handle the kids. She brought up four children to the best of her abililty. She hyperfocussed on all of the right things, (she didn't have siblings, herself, to distract her when she was younger and spent a lot of time in a world of her own, which probably made it a little easier for her).
She was a very distracted mother, but a very loving one. Part of that distraction made me realize that I would have to learn how to take care of some things my own, at a very early age, and despite my own ADD, I had to focus on my own survival in this sometimes unforgiveable world.
She was organized within her disorganization and although we teased her a lot for it, we loved her dearly. I didn't always feel safe, as she panicked easily, but I always felt loved. I did have the saving grace of my father, who was far more organized and consistent.
I will also say that I never did have children myself and I will also say that I really don't know if I could have done it. If I hyperfocussed on them, I would probably have stifled them in their own growth, but I don't know how I could have done it any other way. I would have visions of forgetting to feed them, or getting distracted at the store, and they would wander off. And so, I will have to say that I agree that perhaps as a mother, you may need to take whatever is necessary, so that you don't go crazy with worry that you will not take good care of them. And that is your choice as an adult, but my insistence in the point I was trying to make here, is that it is not our children's choice to take these drugs - it is ours as adults - and that's where I wanted to draw the line. If they start taking the drugs at that early an age, they could most probably be drugging themselves forever in one form or another and what comes along with that...?
She was a very distracted mother, but a very loving one. Part of that distraction made me realize that I would have to learn how to take care of some things my own, at a very early age, and despite my own ADD, I had to focus on my own survival in this sometimes unforgiveable world.
She was organized within her disorganization and although we teased her a lot for it, we loved her dearly. I didn't always feel safe, as she panicked easily, but I always felt loved. I did have the saving grace of my father, who was far more organized and consistent.
I will also say that I never did have children myself and I will also say that I really don't know if I could have done it. If I hyperfocussed on them, I would probably have stifled them in their own growth, but I don't know how I could have done it any other way. I would have visions of forgetting to feed them, or getting distracted at the store, and they would wander off. And so, I will have to say that I agree that perhaps as a mother, you may need to take whatever is necessary, so that you don't go crazy with worry that you will not take good care of them. And that is your choice as an adult, but my insistence in the point I was trying to make here, is that it is not our children's choice to take these drugs - it is ours as adults - and that's where I wanted to draw the line. If they start taking the drugs at that early an age, they could most probably be drugging themselves forever in one form or another and what comes along with that...?
Crazy Carrie
09-11-2003, 02:41 PM
I see your point clearly! I feel the same way regarding children.... Just having been recently diagnosed and treated, I question myself if this is really whats wrong with me? ? ? I have suffered many years with depression, also have been given a bp dx. but it doesnt quite fit me, and in doing research on the web regarding my 3 yr old daughters' traits, I ran into information that floored me, regarding adult ADD. I couldnt believe it, I had never heard of it, but it was ME, to a T.
Anyhow after my dx 2wks ago, I have often found myself questioning this whole thing, even though it is finally an answer to help me understand why I am the way that I am. (I am wondering if doing this is common?) In thinking this over and over I have wondered to myself about the children that get a dx and are prescribed drugs!!! as a mother of three young daughters I cannot imagine giving them a stimulant ever day to cope with life.
I wonder what I would be like today if I had been dx and treated as a child....how different I would be! But what a scary thought to give these meds to our children... esp. young children! That would be my last line of defense as a mother!!!
I do understand the position of parents, that have tried to no avail, other remedies and had no choice but do what is BEST for thier childrens social, educational and overall well-being.
------------------
Carrie
Anyhow after my dx 2wks ago, I have often found myself questioning this whole thing, even though it is finally an answer to help me understand why I am the way that I am. (I am wondering if doing this is common?) In thinking this over and over I have wondered to myself about the children that get a dx and are prescribed drugs!!! as a mother of three young daughters I cannot imagine giving them a stimulant ever day to cope with life.
I wonder what I would be like today if I had been dx and treated as a child....how different I would be! But what a scary thought to give these meds to our children... esp. young children! That would be my last line of defense as a mother!!!
I do understand the position of parents, that have tried to no avail, other remedies and had no choice but do what is BEST for thier childrens social, educational and overall well-being.
------------------
Carrie