Kirby04
06-01-2002, 04:55 PM
Hey again guys, its been a while since I posted anything about my feelings. To recap I'm a Male who wants to be a Female, and being that way I have a lot of urges and I was wondering what I could do with them. My basic urges are ones where I want to become my target sex, and becoming closer to that sex makes me feel better. I was wondering since I just turned 16 and soon to have my license where I could go or what I could do to express my urges instead of suppressing them. And by the way my parents are against my type of male to female feelings, and doing something around them could get me kicked out so what I do needs to be in private more or less, Thanks! (oh btw i'm also going to be getting a job very soon so i'll have some minor money to spend on things to fufill my urges!)
~kirb
~kirb
Sponsor
AshleeD
06-02-2002, 12:05 AM
I'm not sure I really understand the question. What urges are you trying to fill? Sorry, maybe you did explain that and I didn't catch it in your question...also, why do you want to be a female http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif ? Are you looking to have a full sex change or do you just sometimes wish you were one? Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I'd like to be so write back and be more specific unless you already were and sorry if that's the case! Sorry, I got confused http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif!
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AshLee
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-01-2002).]
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AshLee
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-01-2002).]
Kirby04
06-02-2002, 12:58 AM
Oh, yeah heh, guess I should explain the urges more. Basically my urges are to be a girl, sexual urges, not just all feelings and mental. Dressing up, as I used to do before my parents found out and got mad at me, used to bring so much peace to me. Now I urge for that peace again or to become that 'girl' again that I was. I wish to find a cure to my urge like i did before when i dressed up, but now that i can drive i have options again and would like to know if anyone has any ideas, especially females because they know how to pleasure themselves, and I was wondering if I could get some tips or things to do. The more I let my urges go the more depressed and sad I get, sadly, so the more outlets i have the better so please tell me everything you can, I'd appreciate it! Thx everyone! (Oh and I also play Female chars on the internet and they sorta help me with the urges, plz give ANY ideas that you may have for me, i'm very open, just remember anything to do at home or, if my parents will find out, tho i can do anything when they aren't home that doesn't leave stuff behind... and i'm guessing some of you think it's bad that i'm hiding this and i'd also like you to post back, and maybe i should change my private life, if you know what i mean.... i hope i'm not confusing anybody!)
Kirby!
Kirby!
AshleeD
06-02-2002, 09:52 PM
Oh my gosh, haha! I'm still totally confused http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif! My guess is, what I caught from your response, is that you're trying to find ways to please yourself sexually, right? And that's as if you were a girl, right? But you do not have female organs if you know what I mean, so that's going to be a little hard. Can't you have sex change or something? I seriously have no idea if they can even do those, but I've heard of them.
When you say you want to be a female, do you want to be with men (you being a "female") too? Or do you want to be with women (while you're a "woman")? Sorry I again couldn't be of much help, maybe it's just my ditziness kicking in, but I'm completely confused again LOL...sorry! Btw, I also think that you should tell your parents of your urges to be a female. Maybe they could help you, you never know what parents will do to make their pride 'n joys happy! Write back...again sorry I still don't understand fully.
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AshLee
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-02-2002).]
When you say you want to be a female, do you want to be with men (you being a "female") too? Or do you want to be with women (while you're a "woman")? Sorry I again couldn't be of much help, maybe it's just my ditziness kicking in, but I'm completely confused again LOL...sorry! Btw, I also think that you should tell your parents of your urges to be a female. Maybe they could help you, you never know what parents will do to make their pride 'n joys happy! Write back...again sorry I still don't understand fully.
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AshLee
[This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-02-2002).]
mlgable
06-03-2002, 01:48 AM
You need to sit down and explain your feelings more. Just becuase dressing as a female brings you peace does not totally mean you are a male who wants to be a female. Do you have the deep desire to have a sex change operation and totally be a woman or would you just be satisfied to dress up in womens clothes and maybe go out like that ect. You totally want to be a woman would mean you desire a sex change operation and would want to date men etc. Many people just enjoy the feeling of dressing as a women and acting as women but don't totally feel the need to be a woman all the way. These are often referred to as cross dressers and are very common. I see nothing wrong with dressing up in womens clothes if that is your thing but yes it is wrong to dress up in someone elses clothes without their permission which is obviously what you were doing before you got caught. Once you have a job go ahead and buy a few things but consider a very safe place for your items so as not to upset your parents by having them find your stuff. Be aware that womens clothes are not cheap and even simple items such as underwear can cost a woman an arm and a leg. Be sure to do some research on womens clothes sizes so you don't wind up with things you can't use. If you truely desire to be a full fledged woman with breasts and everything else I would certainly recommend that you consider counseling so that you can fully discuss and come to terms with your feelings so that you will be fully prepared when it comes time to tell your parents about all of this. Good Luck.
Kirby04
06-03-2002, 01:17 PM
Well, I really do want to have a sex change, and be with male or female partner but not having either would really not matter to me at all. Frankly I'm all for being a girl, but I'm so very shy, and differnt in skin color and hair(partial albino like sorta cheetahish, and white patch in bangs). See I'm just worried that having a skin condition and wanting to change will add more unwanted eyes to me, and I can't shake the feeling of people thinking of me in a bad way. That's one of my biggest fears, and why I always stick to the internet to tell people things. A lot of people tell me you have to be happy with yourself and not care about what others think but it's not that easy. Though sometimes I question wanting to be one, cause I'm scared but I always end up with the same answer that yes, I would like to go all the way. There is a lot of things that it takes to be a female and everytime I try to comprehend it I end up making myself depressed. Like there is a lot to know, and a lot to change and I'm sorta one of those lazy types who exaggerates things 10x bigger than they actually are. Oh... I have a question, Friend told me to try masterbating which I have, and during it, I feel like I'm becoming more girlish in feeling than anything but after it's over, I have no real want to be a girl for about a hour or so, or at least the 'huge' urge though I still have feelings afterwards. I was wondering if it had to due with hormones or something, which I'm sure it is, but I mean it makes me kind of afraid to step into the world as a girl if when after I orgasm or whatever I stop wanting to be a girl. Thanks again guys Kirb
skip_to_my_lou
06-04-2002, 01:05 AM
Just a thought, what about a support group for people who are struggling with gender identity? Since you will be able to drive, maybe you could go to a support group to help you deal with these feelings you're having. You might meet people who could give you their perspective, and talk about their experience so far. That's a start. Otherwise I don't know what to tell you.
Have you seen a counselor? A counselor might be able to help you sort out your feelings, especially since it's causing you to become more depressed. You'd be able to talk to someone face to face about gender identity. It's totally confidential, so your parents don't have to know. He or she could also bring your parents in counseling sessions to help them deal with the feelings and open the lines of communication. It's a suggestion. If I were you I'd look into these types of avenues. Hope this kind of helps. Take care!
Have you seen a counselor? A counselor might be able to help you sort out your feelings, especially since it's causing you to become more depressed. You'd be able to talk to someone face to face about gender identity. It's totally confidential, so your parents don't have to know. He or she could also bring your parents in counseling sessions to help them deal with the feelings and open the lines of communication. It's a suggestion. If I were you I'd look into these types of avenues. Hope this kind of helps. Take care!
Kirby04
06-04-2002, 07:51 AM
Heylo Again, Um, I'd like to add that being very shy, and differnt would be very very hard for me to goto one of these support groups. I feel even more differnt! I also plan on not telling my parents, I'm not really that depressed that I would kill myself or live unhealthy. At least not anymore I've kind of got those really sad feelings out, before I was just mentioning what did happen. I really came here to find out most all the options I have without seeing a counselor or something, because going to a counselor makes me act shy, and I lie about almost everything basically saying that i'm ok again so... It's best not to go there, unless I can teach myself to be better. Being very unsociable, and lieing a lot to protect my own hide is a bad way to do things, but I only lie about my 'sexual' feelings, most everything else I don't have to lie about. (A few of my teachers say I should be a lawyer)
Kirby :angel:
Kirby :angel:
Kirby04
06-05-2002, 06:02 PM
Anyone have any ideas? Or you guys don't? Just wondering if you forgot...?
Canadian Angel
06-06-2002, 11:06 AM
Kirby:::
there is nothing wrong with being differnt. You are who you want to be. I am a female, and what "Pleasures" me, is being able to be who i want to be and just go out and have a good time knowing that i am who i am and not pretending to be someone i'm not. My sister is a leaabian and she wears guys clothes. No body "disses" her. Just people have different choices. Don't be shy, if you present your self as an out going person to people, they will respect you more... I know from experience! I useto be shy, but then i got the urge to just start saying hi to strangers and everything. I has a lot of friends now.... so make the decsion for your self. If you want to be a female, be a female. Its who you want to be.
there is nothing wrong with being differnt. You are who you want to be. I am a female, and what "Pleasures" me, is being able to be who i want to be and just go out and have a good time knowing that i am who i am and not pretending to be someone i'm not. My sister is a leaabian and she wears guys clothes. No body "disses" her. Just people have different choices. Don't be shy, if you present your self as an out going person to people, they will respect you more... I know from experience! I useto be shy, but then i got the urge to just start saying hi to strangers and everything. I has a lot of friends now.... so make the decsion for your self. If you want to be a female, be a female. Its who you want to be.
headturk
07-15-2002, 06:22 PM
sorry bout asking, but how long have u had these feeling? It could just be a stage your going through at he time being.
F-Man
07-21-2002, 06:29 PM
After reading all of your posts, I'm still not sure I understand what you're saying. I think you need to see a pyschiatrist who is experienced with situations like yours who can better understand what you're going through and offer professional advice. It sounds to me like a complex situation that needs to be discussed with a professional rather than with laymen on interent message boards. My advice is to check the phone book for psychiatrists. You might try a doctor referral service such as 1-800-doctors. I hope someone can give you the help you need.
shaunaurora
07-28-2002, 01:40 PM
You are really confusing us, you know that? I'm going to straight out ask you what I need to know: What is your sexual preference? Are you straight, gay, or bi? And how long have you wanted to be a girl? I'm guessing that what you are trying to say is that you are sexually a female, but physically a male. And you do not experience any pleasure trying to be sexually male, am I right? You know, this really isn't that unusual. I have always wondered what it would like to be a guy and have sex. What it would feel like. Of course, for you it sounds like something a little stronger. But if you are physically male, there really isn't any way that you'll experience it the way a girl does. Even if you get a sex change. And as far as your parents go, don't worry about them. They don't understand and probably never will. They may be afraid of "what you've become" and they may have blamed it on themselves. It's just ignorance.
hornyguy
02-11-2003, 02:59 AM
ive sometimes also had the thought. i had this weird dream that i had a vagina under my penis and got banged and it felt soooooo good i even had a wet dream because it felt good. but when i woke up i rubbed the area under my balls raw but it was an interesting dream so maybe it is just human nature to want things beyond our reach and things we cant have
Heatherxoxo17
02-11-2003, 04:37 PM
You could get over it and face it that youre not a girl youre a guy
Full Metal Jackass
02-11-2003, 11:51 PM
Get a shrink... its simple.
notamonk
03-12-2003, 06:49 PM
Ok - First of all I would like to know if you are or ever have been sexually active. It sounds to me like the urges and feeling or thoughts, etc. are of a sexual nature and maybe if you have not yet become sexually active with another person this is your perspective on how to deal with it due to social and/or peer pressures. Also you say it doesn't matter what gender you have sex with after your urges are fulfilled which sort of indicates that you may be bisexual ( I have similar issues with sexual identity but I tend towards homosexuality ). You must find something special when dressing in womens clothing, try to determine what that is - is it because of the way they feel or look, etc. if so try wearing mens clothing similar to that as it may help determine what your desire is based upon. Another thing to consider is other reasons you may want to wear womens clothing such as are you trying to attract attension from someone special - i'm going out on a limb here but maybe you know of a male person that you think is gay and you want him to notice you and this is your way of expressing this without actually confronting the person. Please understand that these are all just supposition on my part but I'm trying to give you as many avenues to explore as I can. I would make very sure what you are basing your decision upon, for a sex change would be quite life changing and permanante. I hope what I have stated here makes some sense or helps a little.
{posting of email addys are not allowed, all discussion must remain on board...bfl}
[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 03-12-2003).]
{posting of email addys are not allowed, all discussion must remain on board...bfl}
[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 03-12-2003).]
Texanguy
07-04-2003, 04:17 AM
This is an old thread. Nevertheless, my observation is that if you 'lose' most of the desire to be a female right after masturbating, it strongly indicates that it is basically a sexual fantasy. A typical guy might fantasize about having sex with a girl while masturbating, and then lose interest in it for a while after he's finished. Instead, you fantasize about BEING a girl, then lose interest in that.
You should consider that a sex change operation may reduce your testosterone, and therefore your male-sex-hormone based erotic feelings, in which case you may lose some of the 'driving force' that makes you fantasize about being female. After surgery, you might feel even less like being a female than you do right after masturbating.
And of course, there's a lot more to being a female than living an erotic fantasy.
By all means, get counseling before doing anything drastic. I don't know how easy it might be to change, but counseling might get at the root of the situation that leads you to fantasize about being female. If you were naturally (with the help of a professional) able to understand what is behind your erotic fantasies, you may find that your erotic feelings change -- maybe not. If they do change to something more 'normal' (you say you don't seem to be too interested in either sex), you may find yourself considerably relieved and much happier. If they stay the same, at least you will understand and deal with them better.
It's not easy to change erotic feelings from gay to straight, or vice versa, but in your case there may be some specific events in your life that led to your particular erotic desires. Understanding what's behind it may 'free' you to focus more on relationships with others, and maybe even enjoy sexual feelings as a male.
By all means get counseling! If the first counselor doesn't help, get another one!
Good luck!
[This message has been edited by Texanguy (edited 07-04-2003).]
You should consider that a sex change operation may reduce your testosterone, and therefore your male-sex-hormone based erotic feelings, in which case you may lose some of the 'driving force' that makes you fantasize about being female. After surgery, you might feel even less like being a female than you do right after masturbating.
And of course, there's a lot more to being a female than living an erotic fantasy.
By all means, get counseling before doing anything drastic. I don't know how easy it might be to change, but counseling might get at the root of the situation that leads you to fantasize about being female. If you were naturally (with the help of a professional) able to understand what is behind your erotic fantasies, you may find that your erotic feelings change -- maybe not. If they do change to something more 'normal' (you say you don't seem to be too interested in either sex), you may find yourself considerably relieved and much happier. If they stay the same, at least you will understand and deal with them better.
It's not easy to change erotic feelings from gay to straight, or vice versa, but in your case there may be some specific events in your life that led to your particular erotic desires. Understanding what's behind it may 'free' you to focus more on relationships with others, and maybe even enjoy sexual feelings as a male.
By all means get counseling! If the first counselor doesn't help, get another one!
Good luck!
[This message has been edited by Texanguy (edited 07-04-2003).]
Texanguy
07-04-2003, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by Kirby04:
it makes me kind of afraid to step into the world as a girl if when after I orgasm or whatever I stop wanting to be a girl. Thanks again guys Kirb
You should NOT consider sex change surgery! Surgery has turned out to be a mistake for many people in the past. It’s a one way street! These days, no reputable surgeon or hospital would perform it without a great deal of counseling first. This quote from you, above, would probably (and rightfully) disqualify you from the start. You should consider other options – with counseling!
Can I offer a suggestion? If your erotic fantasy is to be female, try ‘evolving’ your fantasies while masturbating. This is all fantasy, so anything goes. Try something like this in your masturbation fantasies:
-Imagine that after being ‘male’ all week that you finally get to ‘become female’ when you are free and alone. You can imagine dressing up, and even ‘magically’ making your body more female.
-Over time, imagine that the more ‘male’ you are and act during the week, the more ‘female’ you become when your ‘free time’ to be female comes.
-You even discover that exercising and working out and becoming physically more male makes you yet even more extremely female in your 'female time'. The contrast excites you.
-Imagine looking in the mirror in your ‘male’ role, and seeing your biceps get bigger. You like it because the bigger they get, the more extremely ‘female’ you get to be later. It kind of turns you on.
-Even later, imagine somehow that during your ‘free time’ to be female, that the male part is also present as a separate body – somehow, you’ve split yourself in two!
-Imagine being the female and having sex with that ‘male’ part of you.
-Start imagining switching your conscious awareness back and forth between the ‘male’ you and ‘female’ you.
-Start fantasizing more and more from the male perspective.
This is not a step by step recipe! It’s just a suggestion that may give you some ideas on how to ‘mold’ your erotic fantasies yourself. Some things I suggested may ‘turn you off’ completely. But they might help you find your own fantasies that may help you.
Get counseling if you can in your current situation. Be patient and wait if you can’t. Keep us posted.
Good luck!
it makes me kind of afraid to step into the world as a girl if when after I orgasm or whatever I stop wanting to be a girl. Thanks again guys Kirb
You should NOT consider sex change surgery! Surgery has turned out to be a mistake for many people in the past. It’s a one way street! These days, no reputable surgeon or hospital would perform it without a great deal of counseling first. This quote from you, above, would probably (and rightfully) disqualify you from the start. You should consider other options – with counseling!
Can I offer a suggestion? If your erotic fantasy is to be female, try ‘evolving’ your fantasies while masturbating. This is all fantasy, so anything goes. Try something like this in your masturbation fantasies:
-Imagine that after being ‘male’ all week that you finally get to ‘become female’ when you are free and alone. You can imagine dressing up, and even ‘magically’ making your body more female.
-Over time, imagine that the more ‘male’ you are and act during the week, the more ‘female’ you become when your ‘free time’ to be female comes.
-You even discover that exercising and working out and becoming physically more male makes you yet even more extremely female in your 'female time'. The contrast excites you.
-Imagine looking in the mirror in your ‘male’ role, and seeing your biceps get bigger. You like it because the bigger they get, the more extremely ‘female’ you get to be later. It kind of turns you on.
-Even later, imagine somehow that during your ‘free time’ to be female, that the male part is also present as a separate body – somehow, you’ve split yourself in two!
-Imagine being the female and having sex with that ‘male’ part of you.
-Start imagining switching your conscious awareness back and forth between the ‘male’ you and ‘female’ you.
-Start fantasizing more and more from the male perspective.
This is not a step by step recipe! It’s just a suggestion that may give you some ideas on how to ‘mold’ your erotic fantasies yourself. Some things I suggested may ‘turn you off’ completely. But they might help you find your own fantasies that may help you.
Get counseling if you can in your current situation. Be patient and wait if you can’t. Keep us posted.
Good luck!