I have been addicted to Ultram for about 2 years. I have had chronic pancreatitis since I was 21. I'm now 30 and still have problems monthly with pancreatitis. I started going to pain management two years ago and the doctor prescribed for me 180 tablets of Ultram per month. My dosage was for six a day. One at breakfast, one a lunch, two at dinner and two at bedtime. One thing I should mention is that about five or six years ago I was prescribed Ultram and realized I was addicted to it then, but was able to stop taking it with only minor withdrawal. But with my frustration with the pancreatitis (I've seen 13 doctors in 10 years with no real cure), when the pain management doctor told me to try the Ultram again, I said what the heck! I'll try anything to stop the pain.

WELL, those six pills a day quickly turned into ten pills a day. It just got worse from there. December 30, 2000 was the last day that I took Ultram. Up until that time I was taking between 16 and 22 pills a day. But with a prescription for 180 a month, that took me about 12 days to take all 180. So that I could get more Ultram I was also seeing another specialist as well as my family doctor. So I had three sources for the pills. Sometimes I would make up stories just to get more pills, even faking having severe pain from the pancreatitis. I only have pancreatitis attacks maybe once every two months, but I would still take the pills every day. When I would run into a situation where I ran out of pills and none of the doctors would give me any until it was time for my new prescription....it was HELL. The worst part was the feeling like my skin is crawling. Sleep was physically impossible cause my skin and nerves were so bad that I couldn't even sit still. And of course not feeling high from the pills really depressed me and I just couldn't feel 'normal'. I would not talk to anyone, I'd call off work, I'd go from sofa to bed to sofa again about 40 times a day just hoping that I'd fall asleep. Of course that would never work. I tried taking Tylenol PM but that just made the nervousness ten times worse. Sometimes it got to the point that I would have to stand while watching a TV show cause I was so jumpy that I couldn't sit down for longer than ten seconds at a time. Also I get these strange flashes in my head, kinda hard to explain but any time that I am active I get these really quick almost dizzy like flashes.

Well this has really taken over my life and ruined a lot of things for me. November 27, 2000 I lost my job cause of being absent too much. But that I'm now fighting cause of my chronic pancreatitis I fall under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act), and I do have doctor excuses for being out. But that is another story. I very much want to stop taking these pills so I can get back to living again, instead of taking a handful of pills and sitting on the recliner all night feeling high. Well like I said before December 30, 2000 was the last night I took Ultram. Not for making a New Year's resolution, but I have expired my supplies!! I've taken all the pills I have and none of the doctors will refill my prescriptions. So I thought this is a perfect opportunity to get off of them completely. It's now been six days of no pills, and I really don't feel that jumpy or nervous, just at night. My head is very foggy all day, which is kinda scary. I new the biggest problem would be sleeping. In these past six days I've slept a total of about 12 hours, which is honestly better than I thought it would be. At night time I feel nervous and jumpy, but I'm trying to occupy myself with different things like writing music and cleaning the house. Stuff like that. I can fall asleep about 5:00 am and can sleep until 7:30 am. For some reason these past six days I've woken at 7:30 every morning with no alarm but can't fall back to sleep until about 5:00 am the next morning. I know I've written quite a lot here, but if anyone can help me with what to expect now it would be greatly appreciated. Is this slowly getting better now or can I expect this withdrawal to get worse before it gets better. In six days every day has been about the same, not much change. I go through all kinds of emotions throughout the day, from feeling pretty upbeat in the morning to feeling very depressed by late afternoon.

Well if anyone can offer some information for me please reply here or actually, feel free to e-mail me since I'm not to sure how this forum really works. Here's my e-mail address.... steveh@losch.net

Thanx for any help you can provide me.
Nighthawk

Hey Steve,
This forum is active...does it really work? Some of us like to think so.
I am sorry about your addiction, I wish you had taken action sooner, but thats like wishing I had taken action sooner on my addictions.
Your most likely right about the worst is yet to come. I would suggest that you go to your local AA and start going to meetings each evening or as often as you can. I am afraid that without some support you are going to have a hell of a time and might start or do something stupid.
Sleeping is important. You may have to go to a doctor and get something to help. But don't go to a GP, Go to a head doc and explain your situation. If you have an addictive personality, you may not be able to do this. You might start abusing that med.
In any case, know that you are going to have to fight back and get support. We can be of some help, log on anytime and ramble, cuss or discuss anytime. We ck the boards at all hours almost.
I can't overstress the AA or the need for support. It is almost mandatory for a sucessful recovery.
Peace

Thanx TrickyDick.
I am currently living with my girlfriend, and last Sunday I explained the situation to her. She knew that I was taking the pills but didn't know the extent. She's helping me through it, plus without having any pills or access to any pills will be a good thing right? I have been on Ambien in the past because of insomnia, but while taking it I had memory loss and said some strange **** to my girlfriend that she told me about the day after taking the pills. So I stopped taking them. Besides when I took them when I didn't have Ultram it wouldn't help. I'd feel tired as hell, but you know the skin crawling thing and nervousness prevented me from any sleep. I honestly don't feel too bad right now, and I hope you're wrong about it getting worse, but I'm not crossing my fingers. But if this does happen to get worse, one thing I thought about was weening off of the pills. I mean, if I took my girlfriend with me and we both talk to the doctor, she could hold onto the pills and I could get off of them slowly. I know now that I would be able to do that, cause of all the crap that has happened to me, it's really what I want. But do you think that weening is a better option than what I'm doing now? I mean, it's already been six days without taking the pills, do I just stick with what I'm doing now? I don't know! Thanx for talking.

Steve
Nighthawk

Hey, stop and listen to yourself, thats your addiction talking. You can't WEEN yourself off of addiction. Your going to be addicted the rest of your life. Excuses won't help.
Start going to your meetings, everyday to start with. Your girlfriend can help some, but she can't do the same things or say the same things to you that an AA person could or would.
Besides, why would you want to put that type respnsibility or pressure on her?
What ever med you take for sleeping, take half of it and see if it will help. When you get tired enough you will sleep. Get exercise, outside...in the cold. Get serious about this situation. Untill you admit you are powerless with your addiction you can't start your recovery. Go to a meeting...NOW.

Well, made it through the first week. I couldn't believe it but last night I actually slept 6 hours!!! I feel good today, still fuzzy in the head but feel good. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Nighthawk

You can ignore what I say Nighthawk, but you can't ignore your addiction.

Hey, Nighthawk, I am glad you are feeling better.

Now, you came to this board for help, right? The best advice I can give you is to LISTEN to what you hear. As a former addict, I can relate - to addiction. You have taken the first step and admitted that you are an addict - now, do you want that to change? You can kick it, sure, but can you stay clean? I know a lot of addicts, to all different drugs - they have all quit at some time or another - a mall percentage have actually stayed clean - those are the ones who admiitted they had a problem, asked for help, did what they were told, went to meetings, and kept going. It's that simple, and that hard. Once an addict, always an addict - it is not a condition that goes away, I promise!! Good luck

Tricky, I'm not following your reply. What did you mean? What am I ignoring? I just wanted to say earlier that I was glad to make it through a week and I feel good.

Nighthawk

What Tricky means, is that you are an addict,
and you will do whatever it takes to get your
drug of choice. Because that is what addicts
do, we take drugs. We take drugs to get through life. But you are messing with a very
dangerous drug. Ultram in doses above 400 mg.
can cause seizures, and even death. If you think the withdrawal is bad, stick around, it
will get much worse. I work in Rehab, and we
have had patients die from taking too much
Ultram. The ones that do not die, end up having continuous seizures, not controlled
by standard seizure meds. Please go to a drug
rehab and get detoxed. If you cannot afford
it or have no insurance, there are programs that are free. You must have professional help, addiction is a *****, and not easily treated. It is a disease that tells you, you
are just fine. Then it kills you. We have all
been where you are, you can still choose life. Please get some help. God bless.

Taffy,
Thanx. Where do I even start looking for a detox center? At the present time I have no insurance. I lost my job in December and I'm trying to find legal help to fight my former employer cause I was unlawfully fired. I suffer from a chronic disease of the pancreas and I fall under the FMLA guidelines. But since I am almost broke now, not only do I have to try to find a lawyer that will help me for free (yeah right!), but you mentioned detox programs that are free. How do I find out about them?
Oh and if anyone knows how I can get legal representation free of charge please let me know!!
By the way today is the 14th straight day without taking any Ultram!! I'm starting to sleep a little better every night, but I guess I still have a while to go to get back to 'normal'. Thanx again Taffy. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hi Nighthawk -

I am not sure if it varies, state-to-state, I live in MASS, but your situation is a cinch in this state!!

1.) Find a lawyer that will take your case on a contingency basis, that is taking his fee out of the proceeds of any money you receive from the party you are suing. He gets paid when you get paid

2.) Just go to a rehab, tell them you have no money and no insurance. They will either assist you in getting some state aid, Medicaid or the like...they cannot turn anyone away here...

At the very least, get your butt to a meeting today!!! You are going to hear that again and again in rehab... although it sounds to me like you have already detoxed by yourself - they are simply going to tell you to GO TO MEETINGS!!! It is free, so take advantage, your life will get so much better - count on it

Hey Nighthawk,
Here is a place to start, find your county and go from there. Also please find your nearest AA or NA and start going to meetings.
http://www.health.state.pa.us/php/SCA/scaflist.htm

Hey thanx everyone. This morning I was searching the web and I think I found the site I was looking for. It's the Pennsylvania Lawyer Referral Service. Apparently there is a program the state has set up that they will fight for people in my position at no charge to me. I don't know how true this is but I'll find out soon.

By the way, 15 days now without Ultram. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Nighthawk