Hey all -

I have 4 whole months of sobriety today. I have never done that before - except when I was pregnant with my two kids youngest being 9!!! And of course, I didn't "have a problem" then, so it's kind of irrelevant!!!

I can't even begin to say how happy and grateful I am. This short period of time has given me a tremendous amount of renewed hope and stregnth.

I don't freak out over every little thing anymore.

I don't try to fix the whole problem overnight. One day at a time - that goes for everything!

I accept the fact that my resentments are my problem to work on - people are people and I am not going to like or get along with everyone.

I am remembering that I am a good person with good qualities and I have some good things to offer. I am not the worthless piece of crap - I still have trouble accepting some of the things I did and have moments where I cry and wish desperately I could go back and change them, but not as much as I used to .

I feel physically and mentally much stronger. I have been happy for the first time in a very long time.

My kids seem to sense a change - they have been calling more often and seem to be expressing themselves more.

My boyfriend of 4 years who despaired over my addiction has hope again, I can't even begin to describe how good it feels to make him happy again, not to see that sad, beaten look on his face anymore. ( I want to cry just thinking about it)

I continue to go to meetings on a regular basis - I don't skip more than 2 days because some of my old thinking starts to creep back into my head - I need to remember how back it was or could be if I go back out there. I need to talk to and to listen to another addict who can relate.

If you are struggling with an addiction - PLEASE get involved in a program like AA or NA (I prefer AA because most of the people I have met there are drug addicts as well and there are to many "active" people in my local NA program) Ask for help and get involved with a group - get some sober friends and talk to them about how you feel. go to a meeting every day until it gets into your head - I did 90 meetings in 90 days even though I work 2 jobs and it was damn near impossible some days - I made it a priority. GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF. You can lie to everyone else but you can't lie and look in the mirror and believe it.

Whatever you do , just keep going to meetings. It works - it really does. I was a hopeles addict who wanted to die - I didn;t think I would ever get it together -

Remember this:

If someone told you that you had a disease, and it was going to kill you (we addicts and alcholics do, and it will) BUT....there was a treatment that would work if you would like to try it - would you say "no thanks, I'll pass." - I think not. Give it a try and get your life back. Take care.

Hey Christine,
Your post made me have a warm feeling all over. I wish I could give you a HUG.
I can relate to how pleased your SO is and I bet that he feels warm too.
Take care of yourself, don't work too hard and like you and I have said...make your meetings and meet each day- one at a time.

What else can I say but ...CONGRATULATIONS CHRISTINE!! I'm so glad things are going well -- from your sobriety, to your b/f, to your kids, to your health. Good advice by the way, every word makes sense. As for me, 24 days and counting.

And to you TrickyDick... we really must stop meeting this way http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

[This message has been edited by Tricky (edited 01-16-2001).]

Christine:

Congradulations! Your participation on this board is inspirational. I know addiction because I am a pro, and it is hard. I have been smoking pot for 22 years (60% of my life), every day, (except when I was in jail or on probation), then I would drink to excess. I smoke alone most of the time, and it permits me to be alone and be just fine with it. Damn I love that stuff! There has been a lot of debate on this board as to whether or not pot is addictive. Well let me end the debate right here right now; IT IS! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/mad.gif

For me, I am at 48 hours and counting. I can hear the happiness and pride in accomplishment in your posts. Reading them gives me inspiration to do the same. Your positive attitude and comments are beneficial to those of us who are feeling depressed and asking ourselves "why the hell am I putting myself through this?"

Congratulations on your 4 month anniversary, and feel proud that others admire your strength and aspire to be as strong as you!

Catch22
(formerly az_btech)

Hey Tricky and Catch22,
Ya'll both hang in, ok. One day at a time. But to echo Christine..GO to those meetings.
Stay way from those ol' drug buddies and keep your loved ones near to you both in body and heart.
Peace.

Christine, since the first day I found this board, you have been a person whose posts I've always been eager to read. You are an inspiration and what I like best about you is your honesty. You've been honest about being scared and about the pull the drugs still have on you and that's nice to hear as so many people who "get sober" get high and mighty and preach to the world. You never preach, you simply give advice in a caring and compassionate way and I think if more people were like you, it would be easier for some of us to seek out the help we so desparately need.

I have been avoiding this board for the last month or so because I, unlike so many others, do not even have 24 hours sober. I first came to the addiction and recovery board back in October when I was seeking help with regards to understanding my boyfriend's heroin addiction. Shortly thereafter I found myself in the grips of a cocaine addiction. Lots has changed since then and I'm sad to say it hasn't been for the better. The boyfriend is now in jail and will be for at least three months. I am now and always will be addicted to cocaine, although I haven't done coke in several weeks because I am now in the throes of a crystal meth addiction.

The good news is that I am now seeing a professional who is going to help me form a plan of action and get my life back together. I only hope, Christine, that I am able to be as strong as you because I know this battle isn't going to be easy. You seem to be a wonderful person and I hope you know that we are all pulling for you!

Christine, how incredibly awesome! Congratulations, and thanks for sharing your achievements (and struggles) with us.

Be well.