claujuh
07-02-2002, 03:12 PM
I am beginning to see that eventually I will probably post on every board here! Wish I didn't have to post here, but my daughter has started smoking. Last night I sat through her begging and pleading for me to actually buy her a pack.....seems she had been bumming smokes off her smoking friends the last few months of school....now her supply is more difficult to reach. I am hating this and don't know how to handle it. I will NOT buy them for her. She is acting like an addict.....oh, yeah, she IS addicted. I smoked for many years but quit almost 20 years ago, so I understand the attraction to it, but I cannot tolerate her doing this to herself. We even watched a news program about the effects of smoking on your lungs last night and her only reaction was "now i want a cigarette." Any advice???
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cozy
07-03-2002, 12:28 AM
Take her for a walk thru at your hospital at the ICU ward & cancer patients ward. 15 is such a succeptable age.
Just-A-Boy
07-04-2002, 05:15 AM
She might be depressed, and maybe she should try ZYBAN, it realives depression, and helps her quit smoking... One of Zyban side effects are seizures... So talk to her doctor about Zyban. I know alot of people who smoke, and most of them started to smoke because they were depressed, and had some problems in life...
I hope she quits smoking !!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
I hope she quits smoking !!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
HCN
07-04-2002, 10:33 AM
She will only stop if she WANTS TO. When she reaches that stage she will not need any help from anyone or anything. This might sound unrealistic, but it is true. I was a smoker for five years, until I decided to give up.
mushroom1
08-08-2002, 07:23 AM
I am usually very liberal & easy going with my children, but NOT about smoking. My children are 21, 17, 14, 8 and 5. I have told them all that smoking is not an option. "If you smoke, you will lose your allowance forever. You will never drive the family car. You will have extra chores. You will do your own laundry..."
I have never smoked, but my mother is presently dying from emphysema. I grew up in a house full of smokers and it was disgusting.
Many of my oldest child's friends smoke, but she does not. She has told me that my threats worked. (I meant them) So, far the next two have not even tried a cig.
My children know that if they were to smoke cigarettes, it would kill me. (My oldest has admitted to smoking pot a few times and this really does not bother me...it's rare.
I would say to your daughter: "Daughter, this is how your life is going to be if you smoke and that is how your life will be if you don't smoke." Do smoke - perks are gone. Don't smoke - perks remain. Then stand firm!
Make it in her own short-term best interest not to smoke. (She will thank you later)
So far, this is working for my children. I have picked my battles...color your hair green, shave your head, wear whatever you like...BUT NO STOGIES!
Good-luck.
I have never smoked, but my mother is presently dying from emphysema. I grew up in a house full of smokers and it was disgusting.
Many of my oldest child's friends smoke, but she does not. She has told me that my threats worked. (I meant them) So, far the next two have not even tried a cig.
My children know that if they were to smoke cigarettes, it would kill me. (My oldest has admitted to smoking pot a few times and this really does not bother me...it's rare.
I would say to your daughter: "Daughter, this is how your life is going to be if you smoke and that is how your life will be if you don't smoke." Do smoke - perks are gone. Don't smoke - perks remain. Then stand firm!
Make it in her own short-term best interest not to smoke. (She will thank you later)
So far, this is working for my children. I have picked my battles...color your hair green, shave your head, wear whatever you like...BUT NO STOGIES!
Good-luck.
mineman
08-08-2002, 12:09 PM
I agree with mushroom1. My 16 year old son started smoking. There really isn't much you can do if they hide it from you. You can keep them from using the car, the smell is terrible and they will burn the seats, carpet eventually. You can keep them from smoking on your property. I would never buy him a pack, not only is it fueling the fire but is illegal most everywhere, contributing to a minor. I told him if he wishes to kill himself smoking he can work for the money, no allowance.
anewhope
08-23-2002, 01:07 PM
I agree, your daughter won't stop unless she wants to. A year ago I told my mum I smoked, when I was 17, because I thought they'd pretty much sussed me so I came clean.
Although they were less than happy we reached a comprimise, due to no one else in the family smoking, that I wouldn't smoke in the house, only in the garden, and not in my mothers car (which I wrote off, but that's beyond the point)
The thing is, you cna be as harsh as you want about it, but it's like throwing petrol on a bbq, you need to control it. Tell her the facts, explain it to her, but it's most likely a phase, and if she doesn't want to quit, she wont.
I haven't yet, cos I like it..
Although they were less than happy we reached a comprimise, due to no one else in the family smoking, that I wouldn't smoke in the house, only in the garden, and not in my mothers car (which I wrote off, but that's beyond the point)
The thing is, you cna be as harsh as you want about it, but it's like throwing petrol on a bbq, you need to control it. Tell her the facts, explain it to her, but it's most likely a phase, and if she doesn't want to quit, she wont.
I haven't yet, cos I like it..
mushroom1
08-27-2002, 02:58 PM
I began talking to my children when they were toddlers about not smoking. My children know how much it would hurt me if they chose to rebel in that way. (As well as the severe punishments they would receive)
I really do not believe that any of them ever will smoke. (I'll let you know in 15 years...when the youngest is 20, though.)
It would be unexceptable for my children to even smell of cigs. I am a fanatic, I know...but my mother is dying from them and I will not lose a child, as well.
anewhope, you say you haven't quit yet "cause you like em" Your parents gave you life. Do you realize how thoughtless you are being?
Think of your parent's feelings and quit now. You will be happy that you did years from now.
I really do not believe that any of them ever will smoke. (I'll let you know in 15 years...when the youngest is 20, though.)
It would be unexceptable for my children to even smell of cigs. I am a fanatic, I know...but my mother is dying from them and I will not lose a child, as well.
anewhope, you say you haven't quit yet "cause you like em" Your parents gave you life. Do you realize how thoughtless you are being?
Think of your parent's feelings and quit now. You will be happy that you did years from now.
indsey
09-02-2002, 06:51 PM
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/blob_fire.gif I would very closely monitor where she is and who she is with. Also try to get her involved in sports or other activities that will take her mind off smoking and hopefully meet some people her age that don't think smoking is acceptable.
Good Luck
Good Luck
crog77x
09-08-2002, 08:12 PM
Girls, females in general, are very very weak-willed. But it is really easy to make someone that lives in your house to stop smoking: simply find an angle and hold it over their head until they stop!
indsey
09-15-2002, 11:05 PM
After she takes a drag have her blow it out through a paper towel, Its an excellent demonstration of just how much stuff you inhale with each puff, the first time someone showed this to me I was horrified! :eek:
AshLin
09-18-2002, 02:49 PM
Claujah,
I have been thinking about your post for a long time. Trying to put myself in your situation. What would deter her from picking up that cigarette? To be honest, she has to just decide it for herself. I started smoking when I was about 14, and there was nothing anyone could have said to make me quit. At that age I didn't feel addicted, and knew I would quit when I was older. I would tell myself, you're young, have fun, smoke and party... you'll stop when it's time for you to settle down. I'm 24 now, and man has it been a struggle to quit, but I really really needed to. Even though everyone in my group still smokes, I'll have the occasional cig when I drink. I never expected it to be this hard.
I think you are doing the best you can, refuse to buy her any, show her the serious health issues, especially in young people. Yellow teeth, aesthma, nasty smelling breath, and clothes.... for a 15 year old girl....it's not the inside of her body that scares her, it's the outside, I'm sure she is worried about her looks (most 15 yr olds are), maybe you could use that, how cigs effect your appearance. Dehydrated skin... wrinkles by mid 20's etc. etc... that may scare her, also mention acne, smoking causes many skin problems....
just a few suggestions.
I have been thinking about your post for a long time. Trying to put myself in your situation. What would deter her from picking up that cigarette? To be honest, she has to just decide it for herself. I started smoking when I was about 14, and there was nothing anyone could have said to make me quit. At that age I didn't feel addicted, and knew I would quit when I was older. I would tell myself, you're young, have fun, smoke and party... you'll stop when it's time for you to settle down. I'm 24 now, and man has it been a struggle to quit, but I really really needed to. Even though everyone in my group still smokes, I'll have the occasional cig when I drink. I never expected it to be this hard.
I think you are doing the best you can, refuse to buy her any, show her the serious health issues, especially in young people. Yellow teeth, aesthma, nasty smelling breath, and clothes.... for a 15 year old girl....it's not the inside of her body that scares her, it's the outside, I'm sure she is worried about her looks (most 15 yr olds are), maybe you could use that, how cigs effect your appearance. Dehydrated skin... wrinkles by mid 20's etc. etc... that may scare her, also mention acne, smoking causes many skin problems....
just a few suggestions.
stevoNYC
09-22-2002, 11:51 PM
i'm 16..i've been smoking sicne 13. I'm just starting to quit now..not cause my parents want me to or anything. Because I just fell in love and i'd do anything to make this girl happy and she prefers I don't smoke..and secondly the money.