Could someone out there please give me some insight. My son will be 19 next month. He tried to commit suicide. He slit his wrist, cut his arm 5 times, had to have tendons repaired and cut into his artery.
He had cocaine, marijuana, and valium in his system. I always suspected he was abusing drugs, but with him being 18 I couldnt force him to go to rehab. He had told me he wanted to several times, but when I would say lets do it, he would change his mind.
I then find out his own Father was doing cocaine with him, His father never raised him for his first 18 years of his life.
My son wants help. What can I do.
The doctor dx it as a cocaine hallucinagetic state along with his depression as why he did this.
Any insight would be great.

Thank you

[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 01-20-2003).]

titansfan, I just want to say I know how it feels to love someone who does drugs and is severly addicted. Self-injury used to be a problem for me, but I got better with the help of my parents and counseling. However, I never really tried to commit suicide when I would cut my wrists. Sometimes I'd cut my legs...when I had no more room left on my arms...but as it is obvious, your son's problem is much more worse than mine. I wish I could be more of help to you, but what my family has learned is this: when someone you love (your son, cousin, brother, whatever) is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, when they are an adult (18 or above), the only way they can get help is to get it themselves. The only thing we can unfortunately do is make sure they know that we will be there for them and when they decide to get help we'll be with them all the way. If he asks for money, as hard as it may be, say no. My grandma has had a hard time learning this with 2 of her sons. When they get those wings to fly away, you can no longer keep them on the ground. Until he realizes he has a problem and understands he must get help in order to get better, he will remain where he is. Troubled and in too deep. The only thing you can do is be there for him through thick and thin, no matter what happens. You will be in my prayers and thoughts, and always in my heart. I truly hope he seeks help...let him know if he doesn't, the result of his choices could let to long term problems or death. I don't mean to be blunt or make you uncomfortable, but he needs to know that drug addicts have to want to get better before they can get the help they need.

I'm not sure if I've helped you, but I'm hoping I did. I really tried my best. Hang in there. Hopefully God will work some magic and your son will get help. He has to if he wants to get better.

You'll be in my prayers :) I know that's not much, but I hope I've eased your pain somewhat in knowing I'll be here for you if you ever need any help.

Much http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif to you and your son,

~Ash

"Life moves forward, but is learned backward."

You will get through this. Just hope and pray and you'll make it. You'll be in my prayers like I said before, too.

Thank you so much. You have helped. I am just happy to have someones opinion who has been there. He does seem to want the help.
I will know tomorrow if they are going to be able to get him into a inpatient rehab. I will keep you posted if you like.

Thank you
Connie

You also need to take care of yourself. Try attending an alanon meeting. It's for relatives of alcoholics and drug addicts. Its very supportive and will help you figure out what you can do and what you can't. It took me a long time to figure out just exactly what I had power over. Attend several and eventually you will find one that has folks in it that can guide you.

titansfan, I am very happy I helped you.

I have been through what you're going through and although it's quite different when it's a mother/son thing, I know about all the fears you have in the back of your mind nagging at you every day...and it's not easy, but when he takes that step and gets help, that's when you can come in and give him every bit of what you have :) He just has to make that first step if he ever wants to make it to the finish line. (Btw, that'd be so awesome if he got into that rehab!! I'll be requesting that when I pray for you all ;))

Please do keep us posted...I'll be praying for you asking God to give both of you strength! The last poster had a great suggestion, too! You should try and check it out, it may help you! And even though I'm only 15, I have a heart and I love everyone here, so please, come here when you need some support. I'll be more than happy to help whenever you need a friend!

Take care darlin' :D and please do keep us posted!

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Ashlee

titansfan... im in your sons position right now.. im 19 and a half and id like to tell you that although you feel helpless, your son wants the help, and I believe that thats half the battle.. if your son didnt want the help and was doing all those things then you really have something to worry about.. but the fact is he wants help. It seems to me that he is somewhat mature and you can talk with him.. so if he doesnt get into this rehab program dont act like its the end of the world infront of him, if he doesnt get in go and cry.. let it out but not infront of his eyes, instead take the motivation he had to go to rehab, and try and talk and redirect him into talking to a counsellor once a week. I understand what your going through.. i watched my sister bleed from her wrists many times when i was young, with everytime thinking she had cut her wrists, then 6 months ago my best friend showing no signs of depression or anything walked into a gun club and shot himself in the head just like that. Your situation isn't the best obviously.. but it could be a whole lot worse.. i guess im just trying to rest your mind in knowing that if your son has said he wants help.. and even more so said it to you.. then half the battle is won.. your son will come out of this.. and it will make him a strong person for it. No matter how many times he goes for help.. BE THERE FOR HIM

Thanks to all of you who have given me your support.
I son went into rehab yesterday, he will be there for 45 days. He seems to really be proud of himself.
He told me more yesterday than I ever knew, of course it broke my heart, but I was glad he came to me.
I just wish I could have done something sooner.
My son has escaped death 3 times now. When he was 14 he got spinal meningitis, the doctors said that if I hadnt gotten him there in time, he could have died, been brain damaged, or lost a limb. On the weekend of his 18th birthday last year he hit a telephone pole head on. And then the wrist thing.
I really feel confident in him that he made the right decision. When he left the hospital yesterday you would think he was taking a trip to the bahamas, thats how happy he was to be going to the rehab.
The doc said that sometimes people get so hooked on drugs that they are ashamed, and feel that no other way to get out is suicide.
My uncle had commited suicide in 1997.
I will keep everyone updated. And I have faith in all of you too.

I have talked to some beautiful people here, thank you all!!!

Connie