Hello,

I am new to this message board, and need some help understanding the mental capacaty of somebody with a lortab addiction.

My Wife confessed to me about 2 weeks ago she was addicted to lortabs and if she stopped taking them she gets incredibly sick. During her confession she continually told me how worthless she is and how great I was and how I deserved someone better than her. Here is the problem:

She has signed up for a outpatient rehab program and has told me she wants to do this alone....and I think that she probably needs to. The problem is her behavior is so night and day. Over the past week she has told me how much she loves me one day, only to show me no affection the next. She wants sex some days and not even a hug the next. She finally met with her counseler for her "detox" and came home and said the program could take up to a year and that I should not have to go through this with her and that she wants a divorce.

We both have good jobs. We have a son, own our own house and have nice things. I want to help her through this but she says she is not comfortable around me, she is only comfortable around her friends. I guess I just want to know if I should take anything she says right now seriously, especially since her behavior has been so eratic over the last few weeks. I am not living with her right now to give her "space". I don't think she is thinking clearly, but I have never been addicted to painkillers and just don't know. Should I let her go? It seems like that is what she wants today, but it may change tommorrow. Someone please help!

I am also new to this board and feel compelled to respond to your message. I can't give you any advice concerning your relationship with your wife, but I do know that Loritab, as well as other opiates, do cause emotional ups and downs. I have been taking Loritab (and Vicodin) for about 5 years, and going a day or two without them brings on depression and anxiety. Our bodies become both physically and psychologically dependant upon them. It has a strong hold us.

If she's getting help through a detox program, that's good. It means she want's to get out from under them. I wish you the very best!

Thanks for replying, just knowing that it is the drugs that are making her emotionally unstable makes me feel better. She says that she doesn't want to be around anyone when she goes through detox. Is that safe? Shouldn't someone look after her? I really do not know what is best but she is definately too ashamed to be around me....she thinks she has ruined my life even though I want to help her. Anyone else gone through this and felt the same way??? Any info is greatly appreciated....not many hard facts about this drug out there,,,aside from message boards...but I guess an addict would know best, that is why I am here....Thanks again for responding.

I suggest that you go to Alanon meetings....its a 12 step program for relatives and friends of addicts. You can get a lot of questions answered there and meet and talk to people in your same situation. You will learn what you can and cannot control.

Also please make sure your son is safe. Seeing and experiencing his mom in this state must be very frightening for him. Look how scared and confused you are.... he is depending on you for security and guidance. Be there for him and take care of yourself.

Friend, I would echo what Geneva said. First and foremost get to an Al-Anon meeting. It is specifically for friends and family members of those that are addicted. Try several meetings if you have same available. They will be listed in the white pages or in your local daily paper under the "meetings" section.

How old is your son? His mother may not be in her right mind for a while (or ever, for that matter, sorry to say). Can he come live with you?

Addiction is a disease for which the cure is long and painful. It is also a disease that is communicable. It can and will spread to other family members, especially children. The children won't comsume the chemicals, they will just be affected by the behavior of the parent that has their thinking chemically controlled.

I went down this road too brother. It was long and painful for us. I wish you good luck.


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Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.

You and my husband have a lot in common; I am sure he would agree with you about my "ups and downs".

One day I can't stand him and want a divorce (after being married 27 years). The next day he is the love of my life and I don't know what I would do without him. It (addiction) is very difficult on a spouse, and children (ours are all grown). I agree with the prior posters who mentioned Al-anon. It will help you put things in perspective, and let you know that you are not alone.