IonMan
05-08-2003, 08:27 AM
A Prayer for the Stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
*****
Engineers and The Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
*************
Engineering In Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
*****
Engineers and The Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
*************
Engineering In Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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franjo
05-08-2003, 02:33 PM
Hey fellow Night Owl,
Thanks for all the jokes and diversions!! I've really been enjoying them.
I am wondering, though, are you able to make up for lost sleep throughout the day? I hope that you are. I'm generally dragging myself to bed around 3-4am, but have to get up with a 3 y/o, so I don't have the luxury of making it up.
When all this is over for you, you may have to reset your clock, so to speak, to get back on track. Have you tried Melatonin? It is natural and aids in preparing you for sleep. Just a thought. I haven't tried it, but found out about it when I was having trouble getting my son to sleep. I opted not to use it on him since there hasn't been enough studies done in children as to its effects. I've read that calcium and magnesium supplements can work well for sleep too.
Until then, keep 'em comin'! But firstly, I hope for you to have blissful sleep.
~Teri
Thanks for all the jokes and diversions!! I've really been enjoying them.
I am wondering, though, are you able to make up for lost sleep throughout the day? I hope that you are. I'm generally dragging myself to bed around 3-4am, but have to get up with a 3 y/o, so I don't have the luxury of making it up.
When all this is over for you, you may have to reset your clock, so to speak, to get back on track. Have you tried Melatonin? It is natural and aids in preparing you for sleep. Just a thought. I haven't tried it, but found out about it when I was having trouble getting my son to sleep. I opted not to use it on him since there hasn't been enough studies done in children as to its effects. I've read that calcium and magnesium supplements can work well for sleep too.
Until then, keep 'em comin'! But firstly, I hope for you to have blissful sleep.
~Teri
IonMan
05-09-2003, 07:29 AM
Teri,
I slept great last night.
The two Roxecet helped a lot!!
Yes, I am able to nap as I want. Unemployed & single. LOL
(reminds me of an old song "Too Much Time on my Hands")
I have always been a bit of a night owl anyways. Besides over the years I have pulled all-nighters, changed shifts at the drop of the hat, flown to where-ever & worked all night (jet lagged) to get the machines fixed, so I can re-set the internal clock anytime, although as I get older it does seem to get harder and I am not as effective when tired as I used to be.
One of the reasons I want to get this all behind me is to get back to working. If the feeling in my hands & fingers & finger tips comes back I will try to get into the field of work I was in before I was laied off. An expert, I am told, a glorified fix it man, IMHO, from all the years of experince in the Semi-counductor manufacturing industry. I thank god that I put so much into my 401K when I was working, otherwise I would have had to sell the house when this all came on.
Well, thats all for now
Cheers
Cliff
------------------
Cervical myelopathy with frank cord compression from bony impingement.
22 Apr 03 C5 corpectomy, a C4/6 strut graft with allograft bone, titanium plate
I slept great last night.
The two Roxecet helped a lot!!
Yes, I am able to nap as I want. Unemployed & single. LOL
(reminds me of an old song "Too Much Time on my Hands")
I have always been a bit of a night owl anyways. Besides over the years I have pulled all-nighters, changed shifts at the drop of the hat, flown to where-ever & worked all night (jet lagged) to get the machines fixed, so I can re-set the internal clock anytime, although as I get older it does seem to get harder and I am not as effective when tired as I used to be.
One of the reasons I want to get this all behind me is to get back to working. If the feeling in my hands & fingers & finger tips comes back I will try to get into the field of work I was in before I was laied off. An expert, I am told, a glorified fix it man, IMHO, from all the years of experince in the Semi-counductor manufacturing industry. I thank god that I put so much into my 401K when I was working, otherwise I would have had to sell the house when this all came on.
Well, thats all for now
Cheers
Cliff
------------------
Cervical myelopathy with frank cord compression from bony impingement.
22 Apr 03 C5 corpectomy, a C4/6 strut graft with allograft bone, titanium plate
OsteoMom
05-09-2003, 11:38 AM
I like the last joke the best! Thanks for posting them. I really needed some humor this morning.
jbell95
05-09-2003, 12:30 PM
Oh, too funny!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/jester.gif