Midge130
06-02-2003, 10:35 PM
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for
> six months. I could deal with that.
>
> Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could
> deal with that, too.
>
> If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone
> who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
>
> Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to
> have hairy legs and excess body fat.
>
> I wish I was a bear.
>
>
The new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at
the door. He took out a card, wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
> six months. I could deal with that.
>
> Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could
> deal with that, too.
>
> If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone
> who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
>
> Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to
> have hairy legs and excess body fat.
>
> I wish I was a bear.
>
>
The new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at
the door. He took out a card, wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
Sponsor
Catherine with a C
06-02-2003, 11:55 PM
Midge!!
You truly are a blessing!!
Romans 12:15
until later,
Catherine
so glad you are here!
You truly are a blessing!!
Romans 12:15
until later,
Catherine
so glad you are here!
Memer
06-03-2003, 10:01 AM
Hi Midge,
There are pastors who show up unannounced. Thankfully, mine isn't one of them. I'm going to tell him that joke anyway. My husband and I both laughed at that one. We used to know a pastor who would show up without calling and then talk about you if your hair wasn't done, etc. That's one of the reasons why we USED to know him.
Thanks for the laugh.
[This message has been edited by Memer (edited 08-05-2003).]
There are pastors who show up unannounced. Thankfully, mine isn't one of them. I'm going to tell him that joke anyway. My husband and I both laughed at that one. We used to know a pastor who would show up without calling and then talk about you if your hair wasn't done, etc. That's one of the reasons why we USED to know him.
Thanks for the laugh.
[This message has been edited by Memer (edited 08-05-2003).]
Midge130
06-03-2003, 10:06 AM
Catherine,
Thank you for saying that, you made me smile :D
Midge
Thank you for saying that, you made me smile :D
Midge
Midge130
06-03-2003, 10:15 AM
Mary,
You slipped yours in while I was writing to Catherine!
Yes, I know what you mean! We had a pastor once that would preach to us how to live and even talk to our face about it.....come to find out, he was having an affair with one of the married ladies in the church. :eek:
have a great day!!
Midge http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
You slipped yours in while I was writing to Catherine!
Yes, I know what you mean! We had a pastor once that would preach to us how to live and even talk to our face about it.....come to find out, he was having an affair with one of the married ladies in the church. :eek:
have a great day!!
Midge http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
Memer
06-03-2003, 10:34 AM
And then he calls himself a pastor! Those are the ones who like to tell you how to live but are doing everything under the sun themselves. They're so self-righteous they make me sick. I'm so glad our new pastor isn't like that. Our previous pastor (use the term loosely) was so controlling and pushy that he made it obvious he wasn't for real.
Didn't mean to get all serious on you. That's just a subject that gets to me.
Anyway, I really liked the joke :).
[This message has been edited by Memer (edited 08-05-2003).]
Didn't mean to get all serious on you. That's just a subject that gets to me.
Anyway, I really liked the joke :).
[This message has been edited by Memer (edited 08-05-2003).]