funchick
06-03-2003, 02:25 PM
I broke my neck when I was 16. I will soon be 33. I am often told how lucky I am since I was told by the docs that I would never walk again, and yet I have lived a relatively normal life, which has included walking. I have had a few bumps in the road over the past 17 years, but over all I really have been doing fairly well.
Well, about 6 months ago, I started having some new numbness and new pain. I saw my regular doc who of course sent me to a neurologist and a rehab specialist. Well to make a long story short, they have medicated me heavily, but have told me that basically that there is nothing more that they can do for me. Today he gave me a "Permanantly Disabled Tag" for my car. I have never imagined myself as "Permanantly Disabled." Who would have ever thought that a stupid parking tag could have such an impact on a person?
So, I am sitting here, on a pity pot, which I know I need to get off of, but I am not sure how. I refuse to accept that I am getting worse and that I will not ever be better than I am today. Just because 3 docs have told me that I am not going to get better does that make it so? They told my mom that I may not live through the night when I first broke my neck, and here I am 17 years later.
i just wish I could focus on all that I have been blessed with over the past 17 years, instead of all of the things that I am losing now, and all of the things that I "may not" ever be able to do.
Anyone have any suggestions?
Well, about 6 months ago, I started having some new numbness and new pain. I saw my regular doc who of course sent me to a neurologist and a rehab specialist. Well to make a long story short, they have medicated me heavily, but have told me that basically that there is nothing more that they can do for me. Today he gave me a "Permanantly Disabled Tag" for my car. I have never imagined myself as "Permanantly Disabled." Who would have ever thought that a stupid parking tag could have such an impact on a person?
So, I am sitting here, on a pity pot, which I know I need to get off of, but I am not sure how. I refuse to accept that I am getting worse and that I will not ever be better than I am today. Just because 3 docs have told me that I am not going to get better does that make it so? They told my mom that I may not live through the night when I first broke my neck, and here I am 17 years later.
i just wish I could focus on all that I have been blessed with over the past 17 years, instead of all of the things that I am losing now, and all of the things that I "may not" ever be able to do.
Anyone have any suggestions?
Sponsor
Debbie2
06-03-2003, 03:07 PM
Sounds like you deserve every bit of this pity party. But always remember, second opinions are a good thing. Just because one or two doctors say nothing nothing can be done, they are often very wrong.
Get another opinion, at least to make youself feel better and know you've taken every avenue you can.
I'm sorry your down, but we'll brighten you day if we can...
Some good jokes on here today :D
Prayers to you,
Debbie
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Debbie2
ACDF fusion (c5c6) with titanium plate and screws using donor bone -
September 4, 2002.
Get another opinion, at least to make youself feel better and know you've taken every avenue you can.
I'm sorry your down, but we'll brighten you day if we can...
Some good jokes on here today :D
Prayers to you,
Debbie
------------------
Debbie2
ACDF fusion (c5c6) with titanium plate and screws using donor bone -
September 4, 2002.
Debbie2
06-03-2003, 03:07 PM
Sounds like you deserve every bit of this pity party. But always remember, second opinions are a good thing. Just because one or two doctors say nothing nothing can be done, they are often very wrong.
Get another opinion, at least to make youself feel better and know you've taken every avenue you can.
I'm sorry your down, but we'll brighten you day if we can...
Some good jokes on here today :D
Prayers to you,
Debbie
------------------
Debbie2
ACDF fusion (c5c6) with titanium plate and screws using donor bone -
September 4, 2002.
Get another opinion, at least to make youself feel better and know you've taken every avenue you can.
I'm sorry your down, but we'll brighten you day if we can...
Some good jokes on here today :D
Prayers to you,
Debbie
------------------
Debbie2
ACDF fusion (c5c6) with titanium plate and screws using donor bone -
September 4, 2002.
melanie dawn
06-03-2003, 03:15 PM
Well, you certainly deserve your party.
That damn parking tag, 3 months ago when I got mine I was sure it was going to be temporary also, when it came and was a permanent one, I was shocked, It is amazing what an effect that has. I was upset , then I told myself that it is an opinion, and that it was easier to obtain the permit as permanent than temporary. Here you mst need one for 6 mon. or longer to qualify, and it really is easier to obtain and be issued when it is labelled permanent.
As Debbie said, exhaust every option before you accept this opinion. We will be here for you, and help in every way possible.
Take care of yourself, and keep in touch,, , Mel
ps. remember that tears can be cleansing, it is much better to let them flow.
That damn parking tag, 3 months ago when I got mine I was sure it was going to be temporary also, when it came and was a permanent one, I was shocked, It is amazing what an effect that has. I was upset , then I told myself that it is an opinion, and that it was easier to obtain the permit as permanent than temporary. Here you mst need one for 6 mon. or longer to qualify, and it really is easier to obtain and be issued when it is labelled permanent.
As Debbie said, exhaust every option before you accept this opinion. We will be here for you, and help in every way possible.
Take care of yourself, and keep in touch,, , Mel
ps. remember that tears can be cleansing, it is much better to let them flow.
rollercoasterfan
06-03-2003, 03:28 PM
Hi funchick,
With a name like that I am sure you will be feeling better about life in no time. BUT until you feel better mentally about things....I agree with the others...take the time to cry and pity yourself. You earned it, you deserve it. Crying is very good for you, it releases things that we sometimes can not voice. Do not allow yourself "forever" to exist in your pity party, but for now....it is okay to be sad. I think we forget that it is one of many emotions and that it is "okay" to feel sad.
Use your experience and your sadness to relate to others and encourage others. Sometimes helping others makes us realize why were given this cross to carry.
May God bless you and give you pain-free peaceful moments.
Hugs,
Suzie
:angel:
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ACDF 6-7 june 1998
Surgery July 2, 2003
With a name like that I am sure you will be feeling better about life in no time. BUT until you feel better mentally about things....I agree with the others...take the time to cry and pity yourself. You earned it, you deserve it. Crying is very good for you, it releases things that we sometimes can not voice. Do not allow yourself "forever" to exist in your pity party, but for now....it is okay to be sad. I think we forget that it is one of many emotions and that it is "okay" to feel sad.
Use your experience and your sadness to relate to others and encourage others. Sometimes helping others makes us realize why were given this cross to carry.
May God bless you and give you pain-free peaceful moments.
Hugs,
Suzie
:angel:
------------------
ACDF 6-7 june 1998
Surgery July 2, 2003
funchick
06-03-2003, 03:46 PM
Thanks everyone, it is good to know that I am not alone.
funchick
06-03-2003, 03:57 PM
Thanks everyone, it is good to know that I am not alone.
Catherine with a C
06-03-2003, 04:28 PM
Hi Funchick,
Ditto to what everyone else has said!
You truly are not alone!!
sometimes when I feel on the verge of nearing the pity pot, I either blow up some balloons & have a pity party or another suggestion, keep an open mind~~
I repeat to myself~~ Poor Me!! Poor Me!! Pour me a drink!! don't overdue the 2nd suggestion though!!
Feel better.
Perhaps make a gratitude list!!
Nice to have you here!
Until later,
Catherine
Ditto to what everyone else has said!
You truly are not alone!!
sometimes when I feel on the verge of nearing the pity pot, I either blow up some balloons & have a pity party or another suggestion, keep an open mind~~
I repeat to myself~~ Poor Me!! Poor Me!! Pour me a drink!! don't overdue the 2nd suggestion though!!
Feel better.
Perhaps make a gratitude list!!
Nice to have you here!
Until later,
Catherine
franjo
06-03-2003, 04:36 PM
Funchick~
One of the hardest things, emotionally, I've ever had to do, as far as my disability is concerned, was to place a disabled plate on my car. It feels like a letting go....a sad letting go. But I am, at the same time, so grateful for having it.
The doctors told my parents that I would never walk, and for the first 29 years of my life, I could run. Would probably still be running today if not for, what I consider to be, a poorly thought out surgery in '87. So even the really good doctors will tell you that they don't know everything, and they certainly aren't soothsayers. They've been left scratching their heads before....here's praying that you'll leave them scratching their heads again. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif
To me, what you're doing is not self-pity....it's a grieving for something lost. Self-pity is a permanent state of being that persists and colors every thought and action. It's okay to grieve, it's even crucial. Your mind is trying to heal as well as your body. I know you'll get past this....you're Funchick, right?
I hold out the hope that you'll find the right doctor who will be able to offer some relief and improvement. Keep looking.
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Teri
------------------
Spina-bifida occulta; Congenital Scoliosis (dextrorotatory and 'S' curve, 42 thorasic and 57 degrees lumbar); Meningomyelocele (split cord @ L1); Diastematomyelia (re-sectioned at L2-3); tethered cord @ S-3; cysts on cord; various developmental abnormalities of the spine: narrowing of all disk spaces, defects in posterior arches, ectasia of the spinal canal and dura, segmental disease, sclerosis in L. iliac bone and adjacent sacroiliac joint, unilateral osteitis condensans ilium, hypertrophic facet disease L4-5 and L5-S1.
Surgeries include, but not limited to:
Lumbar fusion-1968
Fusion with Herrington Rod instrumentation-1970
Femoral osteotomy-1971
Tethered cord release-1987
Rod removal-1987
Chiari-type pelvic osteotomy-1988
Trochanteric osteotomy-1989
One of the hardest things, emotionally, I've ever had to do, as far as my disability is concerned, was to place a disabled plate on my car. It feels like a letting go....a sad letting go. But I am, at the same time, so grateful for having it.
The doctors told my parents that I would never walk, and for the first 29 years of my life, I could run. Would probably still be running today if not for, what I consider to be, a poorly thought out surgery in '87. So even the really good doctors will tell you that they don't know everything, and they certainly aren't soothsayers. They've been left scratching their heads before....here's praying that you'll leave them scratching their heads again. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif
To me, what you're doing is not self-pity....it's a grieving for something lost. Self-pity is a permanent state of being that persists and colors every thought and action. It's okay to grieve, it's even crucial. Your mind is trying to heal as well as your body. I know you'll get past this....you're Funchick, right?
I hold out the hope that you'll find the right doctor who will be able to offer some relief and improvement. Keep looking.
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Teri
------------------
Spina-bifida occulta; Congenital Scoliosis (dextrorotatory and 'S' curve, 42 thorasic and 57 degrees lumbar); Meningomyelocele (split cord @ L1); Diastematomyelia (re-sectioned at L2-3); tethered cord @ S-3; cysts on cord; various developmental abnormalities of the spine: narrowing of all disk spaces, defects in posterior arches, ectasia of the spinal canal and dura, segmental disease, sclerosis in L. iliac bone and adjacent sacroiliac joint, unilateral osteitis condensans ilium, hypertrophic facet disease L4-5 and L5-S1.
Surgeries include, but not limited to:
Lumbar fusion-1968
Fusion with Herrington Rod instrumentation-1970
Femoral osteotomy-1971
Tethered cord release-1987
Rod removal-1987
Chiari-type pelvic osteotomy-1988
Trochanteric osteotomy-1989
janie francine
06-04-2003, 07:58 PM
Hi Funchick,
I can't even imagine what you're going through! It's really scary, I'm sure. I think getting another opinion is a great idea. But please, please, please don't beat yourself up about being on the pitypot. It's a place we all have and need to go sometimes. This is quite a shock for you. Please know that we're here for you anytime, all the time. You're important to us. I'm praying for you - even as I write. :angel:
Big hugs, honey
Jeanine
I can't even imagine what you're going through! It's really scary, I'm sure. I think getting another opinion is a great idea. But please, please, please don't beat yourself up about being on the pitypot. It's a place we all have and need to go sometimes. This is quite a shock for you. Please know that we're here for you anytime, all the time. You're important to us. I'm praying for you - even as I write. :angel:
Big hugs, honey
Jeanine
funchick
06-05-2003, 10:01 AM
Hi Ya'll.
This board is amazing. It makes me feel so much better to know that I am not alone and the feeling that I have are "normal" and somewhat expected considering what is happening in my life right now. Things are a little less scary now. Thanks- ya'll are the best!
Doc has me on a new medicine..... anyone else on Neurontin?
Bye and Hugs right back to you!
This board is amazing. It makes me feel so much better to know that I am not alone and the feeling that I have are "normal" and somewhat expected considering what is happening in my life right now. Things are a little less scary now. Thanks- ya'll are the best!
Doc has me on a new medicine..... anyone else on Neurontin?
Bye and Hugs right back to you!
KeithEugeneW
06-05-2003, 01:25 PM
Check out my previous posts on Neurontin. It has good and bad points, but is probably no different than a lot of other drugs in that regard. My issues were weight gain, foggy/dizzy feeling, lack of energy, short term memory problems, and the fact that I had to keep increasing the dosage as my body adapted to it. Be careful coming off it, if you decide to stop taking it, insist they wean you off. Otherwise it's not fun. I did find it very helpful for pain relief and it literally stopped my regular migraines for 6 months. Good luck with it, I hope it works well for you and that you don't get the same side effects I did. Everybody reacts differently to different meds, so take my info with a grain of salt! :D
Keith
Keith