mel333
09-13-2003, 01:31 PM
Hi everyone,
I am 7 weeks post op and feel I am exhausting my poor DH, my mum, etc. I am so irritable when in pain and then crying and sad, nutty, you name it. They really do love and support me yet, I feel bad being so needy and such a mess. Can anyone else relate to this?
Mel
I am 7 weeks post op and feel I am exhausting my poor DH, my mum, etc. I am so irritable when in pain and then crying and sad, nutty, you name it. They really do love and support me yet, I feel bad being so needy and such a mess. Can anyone else relate to this?
Mel
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canvaswriter
09-13-2003, 02:16 PM
Since you were so gracious to reply to me, I'll do the same ...
Yep. I can relate. Although I live alone and know no one in the town I live in currently, I am about as frustrated at times as I've ever been. I find that crying helps, and I do a lot of talking to the walls, television, in fact many inatimate objects that live with me have received several verbal tongue lashings in the last week.
I was just talking to one of my darling daughters on the telephone (all my daughters live thousands of miles away at the moment), and saying the things you just wrote, about how stupidly needy and obselete, and worthless, and lazy, and whatever adjective you want to put there, I feel at the moment...
I really had no idea how much this was going to entail and how long it would take to get on with life after, so I guess that is the most shocking bit for me..
Thank God she answered correctly and told me that this time I would just have to give in to it and do nothing and not feel guilty about it...
So I'll pass that along to you.
You have every right to feel they way you do. And you are not needy, you are simply recovering.. a big difference... it's hard to ask for and to get help sometimes, but sometimes there is no other choice but to do just that.
Now let's see if I can take my own advice and you can too...
Rest, relax, recover...
;D
We ARE a mess. But we are supposed to be a mess! ;D
We just have to roll with it and let time go by...
Hope that helps some...
susan in week 2 after the big sleep
Yep. I can relate. Although I live alone and know no one in the town I live in currently, I am about as frustrated at times as I've ever been. I find that crying helps, and I do a lot of talking to the walls, television, in fact many inatimate objects that live with me have received several verbal tongue lashings in the last week.
I was just talking to one of my darling daughters on the telephone (all my daughters live thousands of miles away at the moment), and saying the things you just wrote, about how stupidly needy and obselete, and worthless, and lazy, and whatever adjective you want to put there, I feel at the moment...
I really had no idea how much this was going to entail and how long it would take to get on with life after, so I guess that is the most shocking bit for me..
Thank God she answered correctly and told me that this time I would just have to give in to it and do nothing and not feel guilty about it...
So I'll pass that along to you.
You have every right to feel they way you do. And you are not needy, you are simply recovering.. a big difference... it's hard to ask for and to get help sometimes, but sometimes there is no other choice but to do just that.
Now let's see if I can take my own advice and you can too...
Rest, relax, recover...
;D
We ARE a mess. But we are supposed to be a mess! ;D
We just have to roll with it and let time go by...
Hope that helps some...
susan in week 2 after the big sleep
DepecheJan
09-13-2003, 09:25 PM
Hey Mel!!
Just wanted to say hello. I haven't seen much of you lately. I've missed you and hope you are doing well.
Even though I haven't gone through the surgery, sounds like everything you are feeling is completely normal. So many people go through depression at this point in the recovery process because they aren't as far along as they thought they would be. You shouldn't feel guilty at all for having to cry, vent, whine to your family. Your pain is very real so you shouldn't have to hide it. They love you unconditionally and you don't have to put on a brave face for them. Be yourself and cry/moan whenever you have to. Afterall, wouldn't you always be there for your mum and DH if they were in the same situation? I am sure you would. And I am also sure that they want to be there for you as much as you need. So follow canvaswriter's great advice: Rest, relax, recover.
Take care of yourself Mel!!
Sending you some gentle hugs as well!! :angel:
Jan
Just wanted to say hello. I haven't seen much of you lately. I've missed you and hope you are doing well.
Even though I haven't gone through the surgery, sounds like everything you are feeling is completely normal. So many people go through depression at this point in the recovery process because they aren't as far along as they thought they would be. You shouldn't feel guilty at all for having to cry, vent, whine to your family. Your pain is very real so you shouldn't have to hide it. They love you unconditionally and you don't have to put on a brave face for them. Be yourself and cry/moan whenever you have to. Afterall, wouldn't you always be there for your mum and DH if they were in the same situation? I am sure you would. And I am also sure that they want to be there for you as much as you need. So follow canvaswriter's great advice: Rest, relax, recover.
Take care of yourself Mel!!
Sending you some gentle hugs as well!! :angel:
Jan
magtize
09-14-2003, 01:40 AM
Mel and Susan
I'm with you Although I am not in pain (for which I am very grateful) I am getting a little grouchy. Today my DH said he doesn't understand why and I really don't know either but think it has something to do with healing process.So we are in this together and can vent here and others will listen.
Hope both of you have a good nights sleep and things will look brighter for us in morning.
Elaine
PS Susan
I answered you on another post but forgot to tell you that my post-op check up is Oct 15th and you thought yours was a long ways off!
I'm with you Although I am not in pain (for which I am very grateful) I am getting a little grouchy. Today my DH said he doesn't understand why and I really don't know either but think it has something to do with healing process.So we are in this together and can vent here and others will listen.
Hope both of you have a good nights sleep and things will look brighter for us in morning.
Elaine
PS Susan
I answered you on another post but forgot to tell you that my post-op check up is Oct 15th and you thought yours was a long ways off!
mel333
09-15-2003, 12:50 PM
Hi all,
It's so nice to come here and be understood! I think it's something you have to experience to understand, the whole pain thing.
Susan,
Thanks for your kind words. We are in a mess but we shall get there. You sound rather wise about the whole thing. I am on so much valium I feel like a pink zebra flying over tall buildings. I have an imagination anyway so I don't really need to increase it with meds. Valium is really good for the muscle spasms so it's worth it.
Jan,
Thanks for saying Hi and understanding. How are you going? any surgery thoughts or epi's yet?
Elaine,
You right everyone here understands and thats the main thing. Your DH sounds good. Mine is being alot nicer the last day or so and doing everything as he saw how much pain I was in after cleaning the lawn of dog poo(and it's alot 3 dogs!). Lifting has to be the worst for our poor necks. Take care,
Mel
It's so nice to come here and be understood! I think it's something you have to experience to understand, the whole pain thing.
Susan,
Thanks for your kind words. We are in a mess but we shall get there. You sound rather wise about the whole thing. I am on so much valium I feel like a pink zebra flying over tall buildings. I have an imagination anyway so I don't really need to increase it with meds. Valium is really good for the muscle spasms so it's worth it.
Jan,
Thanks for saying Hi and understanding. How are you going? any surgery thoughts or epi's yet?
Elaine,
You right everyone here understands and thats the main thing. Your DH sounds good. Mine is being alot nicer the last day or so and doing everything as he saw how much pain I was in after cleaning the lawn of dog poo(and it's alot 3 dogs!). Lifting has to be the worst for our poor necks. Take care,
Mel