I have had trouble with anxiety during bad times during my entire life, actually started when I was about 20 and found out that my first husband was playing around with any and every girl he could.

EVERY time I get a cold, it turns into a major infection, and usually the doc puts me on antibiotics, I get a bit better, then get sick again, and the doc tries another antibiotic. This process takes a month or more each time. These are the times that I get the worst trouble with panic and anxiety. It is as if I get so run down physically that I just can't cope any more.

Last Thanksgiving my teen daughter and I both got something really wierd. We were nauseous the entire time. Felt achey all over, and ran a low grade fever. We came down with a definite URI in the middle of all that, but the nausea stuff started first for a few weeks, and never did go away. My daughter missed off and on for the next 3 months from school because of this. We went to the doctor 3 times during this interval. Got on 3 different antibiotics. We finally got over it, but then around April 1 we started doing the exact same thing.

I am a single parent. I haven't had any medical insurance in years, so the sickness is stressfull financially as well. (BTW, I just found out about CHIP program for kids and signed up for it).

Now the school system is suing me, I have to go to court on Friday and pay $115 for "Failure to attend". I can get a doc's receipt or note, but I don't have a way to excuse all of the time. I avoided the doctor most of the time because of the money. So now I have that stress to deal with, and am in the middle of this new sickness or bug or whatever again. I went to a doctor a few weeks ago, got on antibiotics, ALMOST got better, but am down again, and so is my daughter.

Here's the major kicker though. I worked doing medical transcription for a local lady for 3 years. This woman was very hard to work for, she was always stressed herself, and is just not a nice person. When the hospital that she had us working on decided not to renew her contract, the new company taking over the contract offered me a job. The hospital wanted me to keep working for them, since they liked my work, and I was reliable. My ex-boss told me I had signed a non-compete agreement and couldn't do any work for that particular hospital for 2 years. I knew I signed a contract, but had no idea of the particulars, and she never gave me a copy. The new company told me they would take care of any legal issues if the ex-boss tried to cause trouble. The new company promised me MEDICAL INSURANCE, and that was the clincher. They said my ex-boss could not tell me who to work for unless she could offer me full time work similar to what I was already doing, and I knew she couldn't.

So, I took the job with the new company. For 3 months I talked them into letting me work on other hospitals. My ex-boss evidently had connections and was threatening everyone else not to work for this new company, so the new company begged me to do this hospital. I finally gave in and did that.

February 17th, I got an email from the new company saying that they were "closing immediately" due to circumstances beyond their control. I spent 5 months working on that account that I was not supposed to. I never got ANY MEDICAL INSURANCE.

And now, I am being sued by the ex-boss. She says I have to give her 50% of all the money I made working for that hospital, plus damages, plus legal fees. There was one other girl involved in this with me, and she is being sued as well, so I am not totally alone. This other girl used to work for a law firm, and has contacted them to represent us. She and I had to beg and borrow to get enough money for a retainer. She has a new job, I have a VERY part time job, and unemployment. Of course, the new company isn't helping any with the legal expenses, even though they promised too. They are being sued as well. And the ex-boss is even claiming that we "conspired against her".

SOOOOOOO, major major panic attacks! No money! No help! I'm sick and can't do anything but lay in front of the TV and cry. And I have never been the type to handle confrontation well. I KNOW I will go nuts in court in front of this evil woman. I KNOW from experience that this sort of thing will make me cry nonstop, and I feel sick physically as well.

I seriously don't want to continue with life as I know it, but I don't have a choice because I have a teen to take care of, alone. We live with my father, so I don't have to deal with rent. But he is getting on up there in age, so I really can't dump all my fears in his lap. My Mom used to be the only person that kept me sane in times like these, but she passed away in 1997.

I am so scared, and so alone.

I wish I had a really good friend who could just take care of my daughter for me, because my mind, my head, it's just tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Friends tell me to go sign up for medicare or medicaid or something. It is all I can do to get up every day and take care of getting my sick daughter to school for one more day so that the school won't yell at me and charge me money again. They have told me she doesn't have much hope of passing, since she has missed so much school. We already know she will have to go to summer school, so she's basically only going each day because she legally has to. She lately is exibiting signs of anxiety, which she probably inherited from me and my mom. It hurts me to think of her having to go through this same stuff, the anxiety I mean.

I'm so scared and alone now.

How horrible. Well, perhaps you can get the medicare, etc. as per other posters' suggestion. If you are into deep financial trouble(I'm not sure how much we are talking about here), I know that bankrupcy is sometimes an option...you will owe nothing and get a fresh start..however, it does cause a temporary black mark on credit. But I think you have to have debts larger than $5,000 or so. I'm not that familiar with it, but my brother had gotten into severe debt so he filed. But best to avoid bankruptcy whenever possible...however, in a severely desparate time, maybe it would help. Check with the lawyer if you first need to actually be charged by the ex-boss in order to wipe that debt.

I won't know anything about the law suit for quite a while. My lawyer called her lawyer to try and get copies of the contracts that she is suing over, and her lawyer refused to send copies. So now my lawyer has to subpoena her lawyer just to see whether it is a legal contract.

I have no real debt. Luckily for me, and unluckily for her, I have no real assets either. I live with my Dad, Dad owns the car I drive and I make payments to him for it. So she can't take anything from me. I was told that she could possibly garnish my wages in the future when I do have a job, if she wins the suit.

A friend of mine said "She can't take your birthday away!"

The thing is, if I felt better physically, I would probably look forward to a chance to fight her in court, and probably would counter sue for my "damages" that she is causing, health-wise anyway. But as long as I feel sickly, I just sit around and cry like a wimp.

I really would just love to stroll into court and smile at everyone like she wasn't causing me any trouble, don't want her to have the satisfaction of knowing that she caused any trouble. But if I don't feel better physically before that time,I will probably cry the whole day, and she will feel vindicated in some way. It really is so unfair that she can terrorize me this way.

The debt will only come into play if she wins the suit. I'm told there is no way to make the "conspiracy" charge stick. But it is "possible" that she could get 50% of my earnings, if the contract is legal. I and my ex-husband, who wasn't an ex at that time, filed bankruptcy in 1996-97. I have heard you can't do that again for 10 years.

When I get my daughter's insurance thing working, I will be able to take her to the doctor's office for just $2 each visit, and generic meds are free. This only cost me $15 annually to enroll her in.

Wish they had insurance like that for us older folks!

Hey, I know one thing for sure. The hospital that this whole fight is over, is back in her hands, but she has to renew that contract every year.

After the 2 year time period is over, I'm going after that account! The docs all liked me, and they only tolerate her because they needed help when the new company closed. I won't go down without a fight!

I would never have tried to take that account away from her, she had already lost the contract without any help from me. But she has now declared war!

I will probably go see my doctor tomorrow and get another prescription for antibiotics. That will cost me all the money that I made in April on the small part-time job I have. I'm thankful for that extra money. Then the $115 on Friday to the school. It is stupid for them to fine me, when the school knows she was sick the whole time. I would make her go even though she felt bad, and the school nurse would tell me to come get her because she was sick. Looks like they just want to get my money to me.

If I can just get over this frickin' cold, I'll be fine. But as usual, it will hold in there and make me miserable for another month probably.

I am thankful that I am able to lie in front of the TV and not worry too much about my few bills. But it is just so wasteful! I could be out working my butt off and making some money to cover my possible upcoming debt, if I just felt better. I'm just tired of life being such a fight.