My best friend's husband recently died suddenly at the age of 39 and this experience has taught me to start looking at the whole picture of things. When I find myself agonizing over a situation I have to ask myself things like "Is this REALLY going to matter in 10 years, 10 days, 10 hours...?" "How serious is this problem really? Do I have cancer? Is someone in my family dying?" When a family member makes me angry I've stopped myself from complaining because they're here and alive with me now. I need to be thankful for what I have in the now. When my stylist recently cut my long hair a little shorter than I wanted which usually would have had me reeling for days I stopped myself and thought "You know what? It's just hair. It will grow back. This isn't a real problem." I talk myself through things and ask "How does this or that (or that rude person) affect my own personal, private life in any real way?" It usually doesn't. This whole putting things into perspective has helped me. I also try to look at situations as if I'm watching a t.v. show and try to find humor in it. Sorry about this long post but if I can help anyone out there I sure want to. Sometimes I feel like a child having to talk myself through situations that other people would just laugh off. How do you guys talk yourself through stressful situations? (Hey, remember Stuart Smiley on SNL? I'm a good person and gosh darn it, people like me!) :-)

I guess the way I do this is by thinking positive thoughts as much as possible, and doing what you do - analyzing things as they occur and deciding what is important to worry about and what is not.

I used to always worry about everything. Even things like what to wear, and shoes and things.

Then, several months ago I developed a brain tumor in my frontal lobe and optic nerve and had a craniotomy. They shaved my head and put a plate in my skull, along with 45 staples across my head from ear to ear.

My analysis of this situation, was "if someone has to get a brain tumor - better me than a small child." Thinking along those terms helps alot.

I would get so mad at my disabilities after the surgery. Memory issues, pain, inability to work or drive, reduced vision, and the shaved head. etc. Until I learned that the more relaxed I am - the easier it is handle life in general. Some things cannot be changed and we have to work with them as best as we can.

For example, I had paralysis on one side before the brain surgery. Now, when I have difficulty balancing myself while walking due to the removal of brain tissue - I am thankful that I am no longer paralyzed.

I am also thankful that my hair is growing in, instead of spending so much time being mad that it was shaved.
(I'm not really pretty, and my hair was always my best feature.)
Things just need to be in perspective.

Even though I also have an incurable, rare bone disease, causing bone tumors I have learned that some things are out of my control, and now I just sigh when I find a new tumor and realize that my pesonal goal in life is to be as positive as I can, and do the best I can.

Worrying will not change anything. Helping others on various brain tumor boards online puts things in perspective for me. I am SO fortunate to be able to walk (even with a walker sometimes), and talk and see. I am thankful every day for my good fortune.

I found a new tumor yesterday, and will get it looked at this week, realizing that we don't live forever and having a positive attitude about life is the best thing one can do for themself.

I also found a mole yesterday that may have turned malignant, and am seeing the Dermatologist ASAP to get that taken care of. Things happen, and we need to be able to handle them in stride.

So, just trying to be postive and taking life in perspective helps. Don't sweat the little stuff.
Thinking positive, trying to laugh, and helping others and helping animals has helped me greatly to handle the obstacles life has presented in the past year.

Well said!

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Hunter E

Kudos, Smoky!

Smokey, You're awesome. Please stick around this site, you are a gem!

Seriously Smokey!! Awesome!!

I talk myself out of an specific anxiety attack by telling myself, i am okay. I am not dying. I am healthy, and loved, and I love others. I am calm, centered, relaxed, joyful, happy, and plesant. You know the deal. lol. but really it takes my focus off the anxiety. and its good to tell myself. ;0)

Smokey,
WOW!!
I was just thinking about going to bed & instead decided to read a few posts........& am I ever glad I did.!! Thanks for your words... I have soooooo much to say in response but; I would get typer's cramp & besides it is getting pretty late here ( for me)!!
I will make sure to pop back in soon.....when I can.....I am dealing with some of my own personal stuff!!! As well as participating in my best friends daughter, 13 in 2 weeks, dying of 'NEUROBLASTOMA"
It certainly hurts.........big sigh!!
I wanted to let you know that for many moons I have been a firm believer in " Don't sweat the petty stuff~~~ but, more importantly, don't pet the sweaty stuff"!!! Stay Blessed Smokey.

Until later, with a smile & a thanks again, Catherine

Thanks to all of you for the kind words!
My biopsy last week came back cancerous, but the good news is that's it's basal cell carcinoma which is the "best" kind of cancer to get.
(If you must get cancer at all.)

Smokey is hanging in there!

Smokey,
You keep hanging in there.
I am sure there are many people surrounding you who will be there to catch you if you fall!!

Stay strong!
with a smile & a cyber-hug,
Catherine