I have fallen in love with my girlfriend of 4 mos. and I have been concerned that she maybe using cocaine and was wondering what to look for...such as behavior changes..I have noticed she goes into the bathroom alot at times and she is in there for a while. When she comes out she is sniffling for a while..The sniffles are quick (like the crying type). She does have allergies as do I, so sometimes I think she has just blown her nose or something..She does maintain a stable lifestyle for herself..Years ago I tried it so I do know some things about it.. There are a few other reasons why I am worried about this..Her last boyfriend, I heard used it... Her extreme rapid mood changes and arguing over silly stuff...cash station uses seem high...I know it maybe too early to tell for sure...I don't know how much it costs or how much casual use would cost..But I sure would appreciate any advise. What other symptoms should I look for.

How honest can I be without you getting angry?

I say if you have only been with her for 4 months and you have this lack of communication and trust already its time to move on... Get out and find someone else...After 4 months its not love...Its sex, lust or maybe just the desire to be in love...Why waste time with someone that you cannot trust already. Do you want her to be the mother of your kids??

I am married to a crack addict...Not worth the pain or the confusion it cost me or my family.. I was into the relationship 20 years when he suddenly tried the stuff on a whim...Got instantly hooked...Good guy gone bad...Yours is starting out bad...

Find yourself another my friend..there are plenty out there that want a good guy... Do not settle...Its your life...make it a great one...

My ex did coke and the signs I saw were mood swings, always jittery you know like talks a mile a min and always figiting playing with hands, pens anything to keep moving. The sniffing like you said and watch for the odd nosebleed. And the money as well its an expensive habit.

You could also look for periods of deep depression followed by "high" or excited periods. I suppose that "mood swings" covers it, although the depression piece is significant. Also, it may be helpful to know that most coke addicts could care less about their appearance or anything other than their drug. Of course, that's true with most substances. Good luck here bud, if this is what is going on...the road is going to be really tough for both of you.

Originally posted by Geneva:
How honest can I be without you getting angry?

I say if you have only been with her for 4 months and you have this lack of communication and trust already its time to move on... Get out and find someone else...After 4 months its not love...Its sex, lust or maybe just the desire to be in love...Why waste time with someone that you cannot trust already. Do you want her to be the mother of your kids??

I am married to a crack addict...Not worth the pain or the confusion it cost me or my family.. I was into the relationship 20 years when he suddenly tried the stuff on a whim...Got instantly hooked...Good guy gone bad...Yours is starting out bad...

Find yourself another my friend..there are plenty out there that want a good guy... Do not settle...Its your life...make it a great one...

Hey Guys thanks for responding...Your comments are helpful..It does not seem like she goes into a depression..But sometimes she does talk fast and ramble....I feel that I need to catch her or get her to admit it and I want to be positive before I approach her with the problem....How can I ask her if she has a coke problem and when is the best time?

Lance, Her appearance is always neat..But what you said makes sense...Thanks for the time and any additional ideas or comments you might have.

I should probably clarify a bit. One of the things I have noticed is the whole appearance piece. However, many addicts don't follow that pattern and I can guarantee you that you see people everyday with serious substance abuse issues and you would NEVER know it. So, I'd like to retract or at least diminish the importance of that comment....it simply isn't the best way to base a decision. I would say that the information about her nose and any bleeding would be a key. Also you could look for evidence of cocaine, white powder residue, a small mirror, razor blade or straw (if she is using it in her nose) If by chance she is injecting...then you'd be looking for some way to heat it (reducing to liquid) needles and injection sites etc. Be careful with confronting unless you have specific knowledge...it could blow you right out of the relationship!

Wow...This actually explains a lot about a friend of mine. She's a beautiful girl with a lot of promise who I met about two years ago, and until I read your posts, never even thought she might have a serious coke problem. She is exactly how you describe above iwreckit. Very fidgety and crazy with mood swings. I mean that's not the tell tale sign however. I have actually seen her do coke before, and it didn't seem like there was hardly any difference. I mean what's that all about? I figure it's a lot like I was with pot. It's very noticeable that someone is stoned until they've done it a while. Then it becomes so that pot is used to function in society (becomes normal) rather than a once in a while sort of buzz. I myself have never done coke for the exact reason that I know I could easily get addicted to something like that.

Most importantly, I think you have to weigh exactly what this girl means to you. If you feel that you want to spend a lot of time with this girl in the future, then you need to let her know how you feel. If you can get that concrete evidence like someone said above, that will make things a lot easier as far as letting her know..."I love you and if you'll let me, I want to see you through this". If she doesn't reciprocate the feelings you have for her, then there may be little you can do. An addict of anything cannot be forced into quitting anything.

I hope things work out for you love is a beautiful thing. I would hate to see it go to waste due to addiction and deceit combined.
Josh

[This message has been edited by Jooner18 (edited 03-17-2003).]