Hi all,
I've been coping with anxiety and depression for few months now. I went to see psych but was discouraged when I was told on my first visit that it won't go away without meds. First diagnose was depression but I think anxiety is the main problem. I often feel dissociation which is not followed by panic attacks. Since this is all new for me, the worst that I feel is anxiety about this depression and about how long will it last.
I also had much trouble with sleeping but now it's better. I am very anxious about starting to take medication although I sometimes think I won't be able to beat this without it.
Now I take benzos from time to time. I take it few times a week or sometimes before sleeping and I don't have a specific day dosage.
I thought of starting with St John's wort or 5-htp. I would first suggest it to my homeopathic dr to see his opinion since I've already taken some homeopathic medicine for this and felt better from it.
Before that, I was in total panic. Now I function pretty normal, besides living my job which I didn't like anyway.
But the certain amount of fear or uncomfort is somehow always present. It's like it's guarding me or something. If it didn't happen I would probably be ok, but this way I constantly remind myself that it just can't go away so fast.
That's the problem with anxiety and the problem with depression is that all that anxiety made me so miserable and insecure that I don't know what I want from life anymore. Everything is a flatline. The only feeling I have is towards this depresion that's making me miserable. I have found a great site in which I believe in and by which I try to help myself, but as you all know it's really really hard. Here's a link if someone's interested http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/faq/dreaming.htm
I live in a country in Middle Europe where psychiatry is not so developed so I don't want to see another one if he/she won't have a right attitude. and even my neighbour who is a psych told me over the phone (with best intentions, however) that some people have to take meds for the rest of their life (like diabetes, or high blood pressure). I don't want to see a dr with that attitude. I am, or used to be a person who likes to go out, have fun, drink with friends, sexualy active and I'm afraid I won't be able to do that while on meds, and since a lot of people have to stay on meds, maybe never again. Now, the problem is I don't know what do I have anymore. I think anxiety is the worst part, but reading all this sorts of anxiety, panic, depression and everything I don't know what I have anymore.
I'm sorry for the long post. Just needed to share with someone. I feel so alone. I despise the question: How are you today? What hapened now? I just cannot explain to them that almost every day is the same and that it won't go over night.
If someone has tried St John's wort or 5-htp please share some experience.
Good luck to all,
Nina.

Hi Nina,
I was told I've got anxiety in April this year, and it's been on and off for months now. Because of it, I developed mild depression, which I noticed gets really bad during PMS. It then gets easier, then harder and the circle goes on and on. I'm stressing over it all the time, which makes matters worse but I can't help it, especially when I get the feeling like I;m going to faint (I hate that). I just started St. John's wart two days ago. Hope it works for my anxiety because that's the real problem for me.
Do you find that your anxiety/depression is much worse during PMS?
Let me know how you're going.
PS: Where are you from? I'm originally from Bosnia but I've been living in Australia since 1988.

Hi Rozana,
I'm from Croatia so we were close when you used to live here.
How is it there in Australia? Suppose it's better than here. I don't know in which language I should write so I'll continue in english.
I do have a pretty severe type of depression but I think it's all connected. I feel anxious about everything and then it's making me miserable and unable to focus and see clearly. Getting rid of anxiety and depression became the priority like in most of the cases, so other things in my life became secondary and that is not good.
Of course I feel bad during pms but I don't notice the difference anymore, except for the pain. I'll see if I can buy St John's Wort and I think I'll try with that. Do you have some specific type of anxiety or it's GAD. Do you feel that derealised feelings? I think it's the worst part of everything.
Best wishes,
Nina.

Hey Nina,

I've been experiencing pretty severe anxiety and depression for 7 months now....and somewhat before then but most life altering the last 7 months. I have and still do experience DP/DR symptoms and just feeling so alien and detached to the rest of the world. I know how this makes all the negative thinking and worries and everything continue on in a viscious cycle.

I was interested how you were talking about doctors who believe some people may have to be on medication the rest of their lives. I could not disagree more. In fact I have read somewhere on a theory that believes that a chemical imbalance is a side effect of depression; whereas all the doctors teach that depression is a side effect of a chemical imbalance. thought you might find that interesting. I believe that theory more than the what most docs teach. I am not on any meds now and have tried st johns and 5-htp and they both seem to help to an extent. Although I still deal with those spacey wierd feelings and such. I honestly believe that we only need to retrain our brain in its though patterns. It is a known fact that every thought has a biochemical response and therefore effects us in who know how many ways. I mean the thought of eating a pickle can make your mouth water. So who knows what negative thinking and bad thinking habits can do and are doing.

I just want to say that you are not confined to this condition forever. You will get it figured out. Keep searching for a therapist who has a better attitude if thats what you need. Most of all know that you are not alone. I wish you the very best. God Bless. --fighter--