I am the mother of a 2yr old little girl. I love her dearly, but often find myself yelling at her at the top of my lungs almost for anything she does, and I dont like it. My mom used to yell the same way and I swore I would never do the same thing. In March I lost a baby and in April my husband was shipped overseas. So I have had alot of stress in the past few months, and seem to be taking it out on her. Are there any medications that keep you calm? Can a psychiatrist be of any help? Any input would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

I know it is terrible geing on edge all the time. Every little thing will aggitate you.

I was like this before I satrted taking zoloft. I could not even stand myself.

Go to your dr. and tell him how you feel. There is alot out there to help you relax.

Best of luck
cattys

There is an old saying I think, children live what they learn. You obviously learned as a child that mothers are supposed to yell. It's like the person who was beaten as a child and ends up beating their children. We learn from parents how to do things in life, even if those things are wrong and we know it. I think maybe therapy might help; pills can cause other problems and should be avoided or used as last resort. You've also had a terrible trauma; you need some time to recover from that.

I actually took after my father and have always been very laid back and dont let things get to me, my husband would always poke fun at me for being so laid back, while he on the other hand is very opposite, but every since the miscarriage and my husband leaving it just seems like everything has fallen on my shoulders and even when I get breaks they dont feel like breaks and I really dont want to be a yeller, especially not to the extent I have taken it. I would never hit, but think my yelling might be just as bad. I have thought about seeing a psychiatrist, are there certain ones out there that deal mainly with stress and my new found behavior?

I have called a psychologist and have made an appointment to see him this Saturday. I have never been to one before. Which ones are allowed to prescribe medication? Psychologists' or a psychiatrist? Not saying that I need meds, but just incase talking doesnt solve my problem. Also, has anybody been to one before? Is it like the movies where you lay on a couch and tell them everything? I'm a little embarassed to be going, was anybody there first time? Is it easier than I think it is? Sorry for all the questions.

A psychologist usually does not prescribe; they try to get to the root of the problems or feelings. Psychiatrists will just automatically shovel the meds.

I used to yell a lot, too. (My daughter is only 22 months.) Most of it was depression, but some of it was learned behavior. Dad yelled... Mom yelled louder! Yoga and other exercise will help with releasing tension/frustration, but I also think it's a great idea to see a psychologist. If he/she thinks you need medications, they'll send you to the appropriate place. I went in for postpartum and ended up being put on celexa for anxiety/depression and obsessive compulsive tendencies. I'm a different (and more patient) person. :-)

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with training in psyc meds and psychiatry. They can prescribe meds. A psychologist may have a masters or doctorate, but are not doctors and thus can not prescribe meds. I found myself doing what you are and worse 3 years ago. Seems like stress and a sense of worthlessness brought it on. I couldn't seem to stop it. My son was a sophomore through senior in high school. With the help of a cognitive behavioral therapy program I now have control over my anger. My son has been away at college, this is the start of his second year. I think his being gone has helped. I'm not reminded every day of my failure. But the CBT program is what really gave me control of my anger. It took me a couple of years to get to this point. I hope you find the help you need.



[This message has been edited by perseverer (edited 09-16-2003).]

I hope I can solve things to make me a better person and a better mother. I know talking about my problems will help me tremendously, I used to analyze things myself and seems I dont have the time to do that anymore. My family wouldnt understand and would probably poke a little fun, especially since they find me to be such a passive person, they wouldnt poke fun in a harmful way, thats just how we react to things we dont understand. I feel like a crazy person for having to see someone about this, I think thats just the preception we recieve about people who see other people to talk about their problems. Wish me luck and god bless.

You sound just like me. I am a mom to 2 boys, 2 and 5 (and an Air Force wife to boot!). My mom was a yeller growing up. I remember crying so much, not because I was in trouble, but because it hurt my ears. I swore I would never yell like that. Well, when my oldest son was just about the same age as your daughter, I had the same experience as you. I had a miscarriage and I actually started to become a SAHM during that time. I haven't stopped yelling since. And it's been a few years now. I hate the guilt. Every night I think, "Tommorow's a new day, I'll be more patient." Or I'll pray for patience.

I had been on Celexa/Lexapro since ds #1 was a baby for PPD, but just stayed on it. I've tried a few more here and there and I'm still the same way. I keep thinking if they could only invent a "chill pill"! I am seeing a Physchiatrist. I was worried about going, but my PCP had referred me since he couldn't get a med to work on me right. I thought it would be like the movies, too, lying on the couch, lol. Turns out that a PSYCHOLOGIST. My Psychiatrist just talks to me a little, just enough to know what's going on in my life and what he needs to change with my meds. Still haven't found the magic potion, I guess. I know nothing will help 100% without me trying first, but I just want to feel normal and not have this dark cloud over me.

I'm not sure if we can post emails here, but just in case it's: renlue@yahoo.com if you want to chat. Sorry mods if I wasn't supposed to do that.

Renee

I'm a yeller too. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I can never understand if I yell because I am stressed/depressed/anxious or any or all of a combinations. I have 3 very young boys (3 and under) and am a very stressed out SAHM. My oldest is starting to call me on the yelling ("Mommy why do you yell so much?") It breaks my heart and really makes me think before I fly off the handle. Anyway, just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I am not currently on any medication but took Zoloft for a few weeks after my 3rd son was born 2-1/2 months ago. It helped but I didn't really want to be on medication so now I'm trying to get better on my own. Hope talking to someone helps you! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif