HI board
could anyone tell me if they are scaredof dying and illness that bad that it rules their life?
i believe in life after death but still i am consumed with terrible sickening fears of death and illness
has anyone found relief from their anxiety by spiritual beliefs?
please share with us

hey i have a huge as fear of death and illness
i constintely think i am dying of some thing it is normal for people with anxiety to feel this way
all u have to do is get checked out and then ull no its just ur amagination runnin wild ..
i fear of my family having illness and death so much where if my dad even coughs im like DAD ARE U OK ..
he calls me a freak ahah
well cya

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stacy

Hi! I am always worrying about illnesses and dying. It ruins my life. but having said that i am trying to stop thinking that way. Its all part of anxiety

i believe in ONE life... we only live onece.. and we need to make the most of what life we have got.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

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donna

I have very strong spiritual beliefs. I was raised as a spiritualist, by parents that became ministers when I was a teenager. I'm deffinately not a bible thumper but am secure in the fact that I'm living on after I die.

So I have other anxieties but that one has never been a problem........faith takes care of it for me.

I think I may have death anxiety. I am a Christian and solid in my faith and it isn't as if I am really afraid of the afterlife. It is just sometimes I don't see the point of being here... sometimes I get anxiety because I think I have done my duty here and it's time for me to go. (Which is horrible thinking as I am a doting mother of a 3 year old - which is what brings me to tears when I think this way).
I have headaches and dizziness, can't sleep well, neck pain, shakey hands, but mostly insane thoughts.
I feel disonnected a lot of the time, like I am outside of my body. I don't think I have really hypocondria type behavior... just wonder about exisistance, etc... possibly too deep a thinker for my own good.
Anyone else know where I am coming from?

I have a horrible fear of dying as well. I don't have a fear of DEATH. In my opinion, DEATH is the aftermath of dying. The actual act of dying is what scares me. Once I get to the other side, I will have no fear at all. I don't want the act of dying to hurt and be painful. I don't want to suffer a slow painful agonizing death. That's my fear.

I'm a Christian and I DO believe that the spirit lives on after death. I do not fear that at all. I think it will be beautiful on the other side. Getting our anxiety under control will help with those fears.

If I let myself think of those things I would explode, so I don't.
I more feel like I don't know why I am here.
Obviously there is a reason, I know that, as I said before I am a christian.
A friend told me it may have to do with childhood trauma and the feeling of being disconnected from the world, that is the only way I can explain it.
I go to therapy and will be discussing it next week.
I'll post my findings.

Hey hun,
I totally and completely understand what you mean...trust me.I used to be afraid of death so bad that I couldnt watch movies because I was afraid that the person in the movie with the terminal illness could be me and that I could die soon http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/eek.gif .Thinking about...actually,a better term would be obsessing about death every day is a terrible way to live .... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif "Life isnt about finding meaning,its about giving meaning" http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif Just a quote that comes to mind. I dont obsess over death anymore...And how did I do this you ask? Well,I just got on with things.When I was obsessing over it,it was a time that I had minimal things going on in my life..I was kicked outta school,I had no job,I wasnt dating anyone,I cut off contact with my friends and I became way way way too INWARDLY FOCUSED..I never really knew why I was like that but inwardly focused definately does the feeling justice.When were bored...we tend to obsess over things that really, we have no power over and in turn,we start to feel helpless,hopeless and small in a world with no end.Does life have meaning? You tell me.What is meaningful to you in your life.Is this obsession with death productive? Are you a better person for thinking about it? Will it give you a boost in life? No!! You cant focus on death...whenever you catch yourself starting to think about it http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/nono.gif just say to yourself "No,this is not a prductive thought and I refuse to let it take over and bring me down" Or make up your own mantra and use it...say it...believe it.You gotta stay positive...you just gotta...THERES ALWAYS HOPE! Never forget that...I reallt truly hope this helps you out..Best of luck to you and take care! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

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"I seek strength, not to be greater than my
brother, but to fight my greatest enemy- myself."

"Sometimes we spend all our lives looking for something we already have."

"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo"

animus - [the spiritual or rational principle of life in man]

I ALSO FREAK OUT ABOUT DYING AND FEAR AND IT DOES TAKE OVER. I AM NOT READY TO DIE, ONLY GOD HAS CONTROL OF THAT BUT I DO ASK GOD TO LET ME LIVE A LONG HEALTHY LIFE! I NEVER USED TO BE AFRAID OF DEATH, I USED TO DO ALL KINDS OF DRUGS AND STUFF, AFTER I O.D AND ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL AND REHAB, THE PANIC KICKED IN AND NOW i CAN'T WATCH SCARY MOVIES OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL HAVE A HUGE ATTACK!!!! I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 4 YEARS ANMOST FIVE I AM 25 AND JUST GOT MARRIED AND WOULD LIKE TO BACK TO SCHOOL BUT I AM DEALING WITH PANIC,AGROPHOBIA AND DEPRESSION. I JUST STARTED TAKING GENERIC PROZAC AND I PRAY THAT WORKS BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY I FEAR ALL OF THE TIME, I WANT TO LIVE TO THE FULLEST AND NOT WORRY ABOUT SILLY THINGS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!
MY ADVICE IS TO TACKLE THAT PANIC NOW BECAUSE IT TOOK ME 4 YEARS TO TAKE MEDS AND I WISH I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM SOONER BECAUSE I GOT MUCH WORSE.

Definetely!
Ever since I had GAD a few years back.. it has totally changed my life. Almost everything I do, I have to think twice before doing it! IT'S A HORRIBLE WAY TO LIVE.. My biggest fear is of having a stroke and premature death, not being able to accomplish anything in life.. (uufff,,, I SAID IT) It even makes me nervous typing it.

It's a great post.. when I was having major panic attacks (back then I didn't know what it was), the only thing I could hold on to was the belief that if I should go, I would not die.. my spirit will live on. May sound silly to some, but it really helped me calm down in the worst times.

i am only 20. i have this fear of death pretty bad. i am scared to die at a young age; that is all. like just on TV now, i just heard about a high school football player who collapsed and died while running laps during practice. why and how does this stuff happen? how can one just collapse and die? things like this scare me and now i dont even want to run from hearing that. i definitely agree with a lot of things you all said. like someone said, i also have insane thoughts and i always question my purpose here even though i am a strong christian. i had a tumor when i was 8 years old in my adrenal gland. i recovered but now that i am older and realize what has happened in my life, i am scared it will happen again. it really stinks to live like this and i never thought like this till i got into college. hopefully it's just a stage for me in life with the stress in college, and hopefully time will pass and i will live a long happy life. i always pray and type messages to myself (kinda like a journal) on my pc everyday. these things just help me cope with my fears better. a lot of people at some time in their lives deal with this fear of death.

Wow! And I thought I was the only one! You all feel that gripping paranoia that I do.

I always had the awful gut wrenching fear inside about death, but once the thoughts came on I would try to get rid of these as quickily as they came, because I just couldn't bring myself to think about it. Well about a year ago a good friend of mine mysteriously died out of the blue and my God did that make me stare at death right in the face! She was 25 just had her second child and three weeks after giving birth died one night in her sleep. And they still haven't figured out why!?! " How the hell can that just happen?" I would ask for the longest time, and still do. I just don't understand. All I can think is it was her time and God needed her. She truly was an angel of a person!

So, now I can't help but think you just never know and I start to think these gripping thoughts and wonder what happens, where do you go, and will I ever see my friends and family again? Ughhhhh, see there I go.

You know what else kills me is I finally fell in love with the man I am going to marry and now that I know how love feels I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
paranoid of dying. I don't ever want to be without him. All I can think of is my girlfriend who died and saw how in love she was with her Husband and how he must feel without her. I even have my boyfriend paranoid of dying because he doesn't want to be without me either! But, the one good thing that comes out of that is we are both careful driving and just way more aware of life. Your paranoia makes you appreciate waking up everyday and being alive and hopefully healthy!
So, for now that is it, I am going to not think of dying but instead think of living and look forward to it everyday!!! Thanxs for letting me vent! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif

Wow, it's so nice (and comforting) to read about people dealing w/the same nagging everyday stresses that I do. I'm only 21, but I'm dealing w/anxiety and hypochondria. I think the hypochondria may be hereditary...well, maybe not *technically*, but my mom said that when she was younger she use to worry all the time that she had something wrong w/her and she'd look up the symptoms in her big medical dictionary and then she'd go to the emergency room and they'd send her home saying it was nothing. I didn't even know she had dealt w/this until it started happening to me. The more I think about it, maybe I always had it too....it just became a lot more prominent once I started having anxiety attacks. I read a while ago about an online friend of mine knowing someone who had some kind of cancer in their neck and since I seem to carry my stress in the right side of my neck and upper back, it always reminds me of that cancer thing. Cancer doesn't run in my family, so I guess I'm not SERIOUSLY worried about it...it's more of a "What if" kind of thing. Anyhow.....from what I've read, neck pain is fairly normal for anxiety sufferers. I haven't been clinically diagnosed w/anxiety or hypochondria, but I've read a LOT and everything I've read and experienced points to it... that's why I refer to myself as having it. I'm taking Clarocet at the moment. I've been taking if for about 2 months now. I've done better in some ways....I've had less neck pain and I haven't had a full blown panic attack ::knocks on wood:: since I've started taking it. I still get very frequent stomach aches or cases of "nervous stomach". I feel eithe really crampy or total loss of appitite or sometimes like I want to throw up....but I know I won't actually do it. That is the biggest problem I have now. Well, that and I really don't like going out in public too much. I have 2 jobs, so I kind of have to....the thing is...I do fine at the places I "have to" go....because I know I have to....I just get all stressed and the anxiety kicks in when I try to go to the places that should be, that "use to be" fun. The movies is tough because of the crowds and the inclosed rooms, stores are noisy and crowded and don't even mention going out to dinner, crowds, noise and it's worse going to those places w/anyone other than just myself because then I feel trapped because I have to wait for whoever I'm with to finish what they're shopping for or to finish eating until I can "escape". It also makes it harder that people who haven't personally gone through it really don't understand it....as well as they might try to. Well, just sharing my experience. If anyone has gone through similar, please feel free to email me at Razberi1@aol.com Thank you!!!

thank-you so much for writing all this stuff. I am 24 and have been dealing with this same stuff since i can remember. I have tried seeing my doctor about it and he always checks me over and then tells me i'm fine and that i shouldn't worry so much. I have seen a counsellor for about 5 months but that didn't help. I'm lost to what i'm supposed to do next. i'm worried this is going to ruin my current relationship if i don't do something about it.

I worry about it too, and not being that religious does't help, as i don't knowwhere I'mgoing after death. I think worrying about death & illness is part of anxiety. We think too much and obsess too much. I worry about who will take care of `me when I'm old (i'm not married, no kids & no family close by). it varies with if I have a lot going on in my life or not. I'm becoming more spiritual to try to get over this, plus therapy. As you can tell, you are not alone http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Starlight_Tears...that is beautiful

i dont think think that im consumed by the fear of dying...but rather the fear of living in this condition for the rest of my life, and detetiorating due to my conditions and med side effects.

i have thoracic outlet syndrome, chronic pain, depression, and just recently dx with hypothyroidism, hashimoto's thyroiditis, chronic fatigue, and very low testosterone levels. im disabled and have been unable to work since '97.

i dont want to continue to be a burden on my family and society. i dont want to die in some hospital bed, suffering, while being treated as a "drug seeker" who doesnt deserve to be treated as a person.
i watched my grandfather die in a hospital...unable to communicate for the last several days,(he wasnt afraid to die, but i could tell he was in a great deal of pain. they kept saying they would give him something to keep him comfortable, but he never appeared to be comfortable to me. thats just plain "criminal"...someone is DYING, and they wont allow your last hours to be peaceful, without unneccesary suffering).

i would prefer to get better...but i must be realistic at the same time (not morbid). i dont feel that suicide is an option, based on my faith. we dont know what the "Higher Power's" reason is for putting people in such situations, but hopefully we will find out in the next realm. in the meantime, it sure is hard to keep that in mind though.

anyway...i think faith is basically all we have, whatever that faith may be.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE DIAMOND SUTRA-Excerpt

All composite things
Are like a dream, a fantasy,
a bubble and a shadow,
Are like a dewdrop and a flash
of lightning.
They are thus to be regarded

-and so you should

Think in this way of all
this fleeting world:
As a star at dawn,
a bubble in a stream,
A dewdrop and flash of
lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom,
and a dream.

BUDDHA

Hi everyone. Im new to the boards, I finally am seeking out others who have the same types of issues as I do who can understand. Im having such a time with anxiety and my frustration is doubled because I have been through this and WON before. About 10 years ago I was in a terrible car accident at 90mph. Amazingly enough, everyone walked away from that wreck...but I had a hard look at death. I dont think I had every had anxiety problems before that. I was a real fly by the seat of my pants type of girl. Want to try LSD? Sure I'd say. Want a hit? You bet...why not? Not after that accident. (not that that isnt a good thing...im lucky many many times over) I got to the point that I couldnt drive down the block for fear of dying in the car. I was terrified of anything and everything for a long time. I didnt sleep, I didnt eat...I couldnt function normally. I basically got kicked out of college that quarter, since I was unable to really go to class, and went home. I bought a self-help book on anxiety, and taught myself to stop panicking. Seriously. I ended the panic attacks about a year after they started. And was free of them for 9 years. Now, suddenly, they have returned, and my fear of death is back. Perhaps its due to a mild car accident I was in, triggering all the old fears. It could be that I just went through gallbladder surgery. Whatever it is, its driving me crazy. I hate feeling this way. I am a very (normally) independent person and I feel totally dependent on my husband at the moment. Im scared to sleep in my own house when he has to go on business trips. I end up having horrible panic attacks, and im terrified im going to die. I have two beautiful girls, (age 3 and 6) but I know im not enjoying life with them right now, and it just tears me up inside. I just hope I can figure out how I did it before...it seemed so simple, and made me feel so strong to solve it on my own, with out medication. I hate taking pills. Thanks for all being such supportive people here, its great to feel like people will actually listen and understand. If I figure out how I did it before, I promise I will post again.... :D

Zelda go lightly, I wanted to tell you that I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I've done all I can on this earth and it's time for me to go. Except for I don't have any kids. And I also identify with the person who said that, as well as fear of dying, they have fear of living with these conditions. I have fear of them as well. I am not happy and have not been for years, living with chronic depression and chronic generalized anxiety disorder. I sure could use the support and can give support too.

All you people above - if you are physically healthy you should be thankful and making the most of life - I have been ill for over a year with CFS and thyroid disease, loads of people like me suffer - we dont let imaginings take over - we live with real illness day in day out.

Paul38,

I certainly don't want to offend you in anyway and I'm truely sorry that you're suffering.
But, depression, panic disorder, OCD all of those things are very real disorders.
It's not something we imagine or something we can get over at the snap of a finger.
Some people get over it on their own, some go to therapy, some take medication, no matter how we get over it, it's something that is very real and something that we deal with everyday.

Again, I didn't mean to offened you I just wanted you to know that we don't "imagine" these illness, they are very real and we are trying the best we can to make the most of our lives.

HI board
could anyone tell me if they are scaredof dying and illness that bad that it rules their life?
i believe in life after death but still i am consumed with terrible sickening fears of death and illness
has anyone found relief from their anxiety by spiritual beliefs?
please share with us

I had the same problem just weeks ago. I really felt a lot of stress and fear. Headaches, panic attacks and many other characteristics of a person with this disorder, until I read the Bible.

Psalm 23: 4
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [1]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Pry to God in the name of Jesus Christ. He already won the war and there is nothing to fear, never.

I have had strong worries of illness and dying for a few months now. I know what caused it (lets just say it was a truly evil experience) and I don't know what to do to stop it or face it. I have always been a worrier but this experiece pretty much took the cake and since then I have just been crazy. I keep going to doctors thinking something is wrong with me. I also am a bit paranoid, hearing voices coming from inside of my head that aren't my own but sound like they are, and worried I might be schizophrenic. I just pray and pray to Jesus and God that they help me through this time. I had cancer as a child and had a pretty weak faith, and I am afraid something evil took advantage of that. Now my faith is strong and I just hope Jesus can help me. I really do believe that evil, good, Jesus, and Satan, do exist, and I have had some experiences that pretty much prove it. I was agnostic but not anymore.

I've suffered from panic and anxiety attacks for quite some time now. Always thinking negative or letting my emotional thoughts take over. Wondering, was my heart ok? Will it just stop beating? Am I going to go into cardiac arrest? Have I done to much to myself? I've always tried to get to the root of my problem and my biggest fear was of death. If I knew I were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't be afraid if I knew WITHOUT A DOUBT where I was going. I wanted to know what happens, if God TRULY exists. Will I be with my family again? My son? My husband? Will I be alone? So many things would come into my mind that I started to have, what I felt were uncontrollable thoughts. My mind would go on about why I'm really here, what's the true meaning of life? I started learning more scientifically, how the earth and our existence came about, why were here, and HOW were here. For a time, I really started to believe there was nothing after death. IT TERRIFIED ME! I would think about it, and instantly I'd be having a panic attack. I was raised a Christian, but when I was about 15 years old I started to have a lot of doubts. I'm 21 now and finally recovering from my problems. I've learned to find my faith and pray. I use to pray when I was younger, even before I started having these thoughts. I know there's people out there who say they have "had a feeling" while they pray, or they have experienced something which confirmed there faith even more. I never actually had a feeling like that. I've never seen anything "paranormal." Not once. Which again, made me lose more faith, having all my doubts, thinking other people who have experienced these things must be crazy, or they NEED this feeling just to go on? Do us as human beings need this thought of God to comfort us? These were the thoughts that would make me freak out. These days, whenever I start to feel upset, or have those thoughts, I remind myself of all the wonderful miracles there are in this world, MIRACLES! I mean things that COULD NOT SCIENTIFICALLY OF HAPPENED WITHOUT GOD! Science helps us learn so much, and so many people say that science proves that God never existed, but in reality, science and religion go hand in hand. THERE HAD TO BE SOME KIND OF INTELLIGENT EXISTENCE TO GIVE US LIFE! And not for nothing, but a lot of science is based on THEORY! I'm just happy that I'm finally finding my faith, where I came from, and our true meaning of life, learning to keep my mind filled with hope, instead if sitting around dwelling on what's going to happen to me. Life is about making progress, reaching new heights and becoming stronger. I'm so blessed and God loves all of us. Sometimes you just have to give in and talk to him. He knows all your thoughts anyway, tell him and ask him for help. If your scared, feel uneasy, stressed, anything, talk to the one who can heal you, give you everything, in this life, and in our eternal life. :)


"Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow."

I can relate with a lot of things you said. I truly do not know where I would be without God. I have suffered with stress and depression all my life. I was raised a Christian and went my own way when I moved out of the house. The depression got worse as I got older and I found God in my mid 30s. I still struggle with it big time but now I have hope. I know this is only temporary and one day I will be with the Lord in heaven. That makes my feel good. Our time on earth is not even a speck of time. When I look at it that way and know where I will be spending eternity, it helps me deal with it better. I still have my low times but it makes me wonder, people who don't have that kind of hope, how do they deal with it. I guess a lot of them do with alcohol, drugs, promiscuous sex and suicide.

I know what you are saying about "having a feeling" or God talking to them when they pray. That has never once happened to me either and it has bothered me. I have questioned some good Christian friends about that and they say everybody is different. Some do and some don't. Don't be concerned about it. It doesn't make you less of a Christian.

Look all around us. Look at the world, the sun and stars. Look at the universe. How can this all be by accident? There has to be a God and he loves us. He never promised us an easy life here on earth. I just keep going to him and praying to him. That is how I cope.

Look beyond the night of sorrow
there shall come a blessed day
there shall be a glad tomorrow
when the night has passed away.

I have suffered with a fear of a serious illness and dying off and on for 15 yrs. When I am having an "attack" which can last from mins to months its a living nightmare...... Over the yrs I have had brain scans, heart tapes, treadmill tests, ecgs, chest X-rays etc. The worst is that after comming to terms with its just "stress" I can then go for a while(sumtimes yrs) and then boom back to square 1 again. Telling doctors that maybe this time my anxsity may be masking something terminal!!! I have chest pains, headaches, etc but most of all breathlessness.. After a hefty course of anti bios, (treating a bug in tummy that cud indicate a stomach ulcer a test which i bought over the counter), which finishes on monday i start talking 10mg citalopram after a week i then up it to 20mg then go back the docs. She has also reffered me to counciling and gave me leaflets on generalised anxsity, ummmm.. I just want to be normal again and be able to live my life not fearing going places. Just hope these tabs do the trick. Can any1 let me know if they feel the same as I feel ON MY OWN

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