I plan to have sex for the first time within a few weeks, but I am terrified of getting pregnant. However, I also feel really uncomfortable with the idea of the pill, and I don't want to use it.

I also don't want to use JUST condoms, so, what methods have you guys found work best for you?

The pill has always been the best thing for me, but I understand why you aren't too crazy about taking it. Some people really seem to like the new patch and some like the shots. But with any of those you most likely are going to have some side effects and you need to start them now to give you plenty of time to start working and give your body a chance to adjust to them. Condoms are a must no matter what to protect your health. As for other forms, are people still using diaphrams? Even with those you need to have them properly fitted. I suggest you take to your doctor, it doesn't have to be a gyno, about all the different options out there. a few years ago I was thinking about changing my BC and my doctor gave me tons of info on all the different types and the pros and cons to all of them.

I talked to my doctor about it a month or two ago, and she told me that diaphragms are more trouble than they're worth, and that I should just use condoms and foam. I was surprised by her response. I'm not really sure what to do...

I believe that about the diaphrams, I think thats why they have become a thing of the past. Foams and stuff like that are good to use with the condoms, but every so often you will find some women are allergic to them. Its really hard to recommend things since every woman is so different. For now you may do better with the spermacides and condoms until you have had time to really research other forms of BC. I may take you several tries before you find one you really like.

I think researching birth control is a good idea. I also think that you and your partner should do it together since it is something that will be affecting both of you. I've found the pill to be an excellent method of birth control with no side effects. But remember everyone is different. So good luck.

You never said why you were uncomfortable with the idea of going on the pill. There are many reasons why a woman wouldn't want to go on it, but unless you specify, we won't be able to comment properly. If it's because you don't want to pump your body full of hormones, then we can't suggest the implants, injections or patch because that's how they work. If it's because you smoke, that's another story. If it's because you doubt you'll be able to remember to take them regularly...

Anyway, there really aren't that many options out there, IUD, diaphrams, condoms, spermicide, withdrawl method (lol)...

I would only trust the pill for contraception and my doctor has told me that there are so many different kinds out there now that there's something to address everyone's needs.

i too am Very curious re: this issue.

my dr. is a fan of the IUD. she really wants me to get one. i'm not sure. my partner is able to ejaculate maybe 1-2% of the time. but, we still must be careful. i don't want to take hormones because mine are natually messy. i am also concerned about becoming pregnant. i have a disabiltiy that contributed to the stillbirth of our son six years ago. i was told that should we have another child my health would be in some danger.

i appreciate your insight.

My partner and I have researched birth control, but none of them seem to be suited to me.

I don't want to use a hormonal method because I'm afraid of side effects, and because I have a history of anxiety and the pill can make anxious/depressed people worse.

I'll use condoms no matter what, but that doesn't seem like enough...

Make sure that even if you use some other method, USE CONDOMS ALSO!!! You need to protect yoursfrom STDs.

Although my partner is also a virgin, I will most definitely use condoms every time. It's added protection, and I can always use the extra peace of mind. We've already practiced putting them on so he can get used to using them and how they feel. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Originally posted by lascot:
i have a disabiltiy that contributed to the stillbirth of our son six years ago. i was told that should we have another child my health would be in some danger.

Then you, my darling, sound like a candidate for surgical sterilization (IE, tubal ligation, an outpatient procedure.)

In the interest of better sex, if you aren't going to (for sure!) have any more children, I would look into this option if I were you, as it is permanent, reliable, and practically idiot-proof.

Condoms are good for protecting against STDs, but they are only about 80% effective, so you definately need to use a second form of bc.

Another good form of bc is watching TLC's Maternity Ward!

I've been on Estrostep for four months, and love it. It introduces the hormones into your system gradually, so there are less side effects than with other pills. I used to take Ortho Tri-cyclen, but had nausea with it and lost several pounds. I guess many women actually gain weight on the pill - I like Estrostep because my weight hasn't fluctuated at all. My periods are less heavy and I don't have any major mood swings (which many women experience with the pill).

The main methods of contraception advocated by the medical community are tailored towards the patients sexual behavior and health concerns.

For those with multiple sexual partners or risky sexual practices (generally teenagers and young women), condoms with or without foam is basically standard because it covers contraception and STD protection.

Oral contraceptive pills (OCP's) and IUD's are for those in long-term relationships with desire for just contraception. IUD's are as effective, perhaps even more effective because of adherence issues, as OCP's. OCP's are good for lessening painful menses, decreasing the overall estrogen levels and thus acne, but should not be used if the patient has clotting disorders or strong headaches. IUD's are great for those unable to tolerate OCP's, but should not be used if the patient has painful menses, or risky sexual practices because of the increased susceptibility to STD's.

Hysterectomy and tubal ligation is recommended only for those with children already or past desirable childbearing years.

Diaphragms need to be fitted, don't provide STD protection, need to be left in place through the next day, and are generally a bit messy to deal with.

Have I forgotten anything?

Oh yeah, abstinence. 100% effective against STD's and pregnancy, though in all of recorded history there is one report of a pregnancy despite abstinence.

[This message has been edited by pvt94122 (edited 11-24-2002).]

I took the pill for years and found that the side effects were just too much - mainly just the weight gain, but I also don't like to put any unnecessary chemicals in my body. I now have an immune disorder and my liver will not clean out or process drugs through my system the way it should be, so I am using an IUD. The IUD I believe is the best form of birth control if you are sexually active on a frequent basis. It lasts for 5 years and there is just the hormones get released directly into your uterus. It is effective immediately (the pill is not) and has the same pregnancy rate as the pill if not better. The minute you have it removed, you can get pregnant.

The only thing I have to say against the IUD is that it is a little uncomfortable getting it put in. They use a local anesthetic and dialate you just a little bit to put the device in and then you're done! You get go home and don't have to worry about getting pregnant. No weight gain, and no mood swings (unless that's normal for you).

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Take care, Amanda

I still would consider a hormonal method. I too have severe anxiety issue and I am on the pill and how found it has no effect on my level of anxiety. I take an anti-depressant to help control my anxiety and have for a few years now. I started the pill about a year ago and have had no conflicts. You never know unless you try.

Bonbon, I also take an anti depressant to control my anxiety. Do you have any side effects on the pill?

I'm happy to say I don't. Except for just before my period my breasts get sore, but that happened before I was on the pill. I've had no problem and have no plans on going off the pill. You might want to give it a try for 3 months and see how it works for you. I've been on both Ortho-Tri Cyclen and Alesse with no side effects. Good Luck!

I use condoms and they've worked so far....but it's only effective 99 percent of the time. I sometimes worry because I can't beat those odds! LOL!