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Asperger's Syndrome Message Board
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Old 12-02-2004, 07:16 AM   #1
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My Asperger family

Okay, Im new here, but I have something interesting to share. I never knew about Aspergers or Autism growing up. All I knew was that my family was somewhat odd, pretty dysfunctional(parents are divorced) and we were extrememly sensitive and anti social, with many questionable behaviors(mainly with my brothers). I'll start with my dad, my dad is 50 years old now, he very artistic, he had the chance at one time before we were born to take a career in architecture, but he fell in love with my mom at 17.HE's a perfectionists, who has been on the same routine for almost 30 years or maybe more,who obsessives about everything. HE still talks outloud to himself(we laugh sometimes about it) and can carry on a conversation to himself for quite sometime. Although my dad is not a genius and didnt do well in school, he is quite smart on a more personal level.Although you dont want to get too personal for my dad can repeat things over and over and over(the same line literally) My dad doesnt have many friends and doesnt attend social functions. Now my mom, my mom is more well rounded(with the exception she didnt help out my dad raising us very well)Mom is more childlike to me, I feel more "mothering" her alot. She is not a good organizer or good at remembering things. She never did well with money or jobs, she has frequent meltdowns about small things. Mom does not make eye contact when she talks to people and tends to make life altering decisions based on emotions or outbursts ( this has been pointed out by everybody) Mom is a high spirited person though, whom is artistic and people tend to like.Now me, Im 26years old, with two children. I am very muliti- artistic like my parents as well. I have meltdowns at times,( probably more than my share) I am still learning how to cope with people and situations alittle better.I am a perfectionists, who obsesses about people or things, (straterra helps me with the obsessions) I am very routined and high strung at times. I have always had auditory processing delays(as do my sister,2 brothers, dad and son)it takes me a minute or two most of the time to figure out a joke or comment. Sometimes longer if the situation is more complicated or I might not get it at all. I tend to be very shy and best express my opinions on paper or art. I make pretty good eye contact if I am compfortable(which is rare) I have a compfort level with people and it takes me along time to get "compfortable" with people, in most cases..years. I have to be organized and routine to function better and have a better memory. It helps me to not forget things or to remember where I put them. Im a worrier, procrastinator at times, but definantly driven by obsessions or passion. I currently obsess over behavior issues, autism and parenting or in most cases how I can help people like my family. (because those are my goals also)My son is only 7, he is alot like the way I was in the first years of school. He is a first grader, can read and write, talk, but has problems with social cues, processing information, memorization, and impulsive behavioral at times. He was dx at 3 to having moderate to severe autism and did not speak until then. Now he is bordering a line of ADHD to Aspergers to nothing at all(how is that for recovery?) Behavior is the number one issue we are working on right now.To control impulsiveness and of course, concepts, consequences, and other auditory issues that need to be addressed.None of us had any mental retardation or physical handicap, other than what usually goes along with autism.There are more people in my family, but I could chat all day about my 8 brothers and sisters, my husband and his grandpa and our son, but I just wanted to share alittle about my family because it has finally helped me understand some of the things I might have been sensitive about before or even ashamed of. This is a way to cope and to get feedback, to help come clean about issues that were not addressed before. Thank you for listening to me.

 
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Old 12-02-2004, 03:49 PM   #2
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Re: My Asperger family

Wow.. well one thing is for sure, you will never have to explain an outburst to ppl in you family, they already know why it happened. I feel the need to keep them from happening, so not to disturb ppl and I hate that..... My son has HFA, get over it, if he screams, how about you TRY to find out why and not think he is just being whiny!!!

He is the only one in the family with Autism, but my dh has alot of symptoms of Asperger's and ADHD. My bro also thinks he may have ADD and Dislexia (sp)... by no dx's. My FIL, is alot like my dh and can go on and on about something and no one care. He don't pick up the clue's. He is all about guns, and my son is getting into guns, which is wierd because we really don't expose him to that... he is only 4 1/2, but he always want's pop guns and things like that!! HUMMMMM... so if I had to guess, he got the quorks from dh's side of the family, but the crappy autoimmunity side of MY family is what pushed him over the edge and made him Autistic! JMO.

 
Old 12-03-2004, 09:22 AM   #3
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Re: My Asperger family

Cutie, Im laughing as I read your post, it reminds me of my son and his father. Their are so many characteristics the same, such as interest like guns and hunting, fishing(they are both big outdoorsmen) they have the same diet too. And my husbands mother cooks way different than I do. Its so funny because they wont eat cheese at all(I always thought kids loved cheese)cold cereal, ham or other cold meat, fast food hamburgers(only chicken nuggets), toast,tacos, gravey and biscuits, hotdogs.The foods they eat are usually broccoli,oatmeal,steak,fish and other wild game and both eat bacon like its going out of style., its like they are genetically the same, except they hardly even eat together since hubby works long hours from morning till night.My husband also speaks louder than most people or has a real loud tone to his voice, like my son.They both listen to the tv way louder than anyone else. My son use to be real whiney, but now that he can talk he has gotten better about meltdowns. He can express himself alot better, now so we may have one meltdown or less a month anymore, infact I dont think he's had one in months!

 
Old 12-03-2004, 09:27 AM   #4
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Re: My Asperger family

You sound like me Cutie, lol, my son is the same way, he got all his cool talent (manlyhood)from his dads side and all his tempertantrums and outbursts from mine!!!YOu know thats funny how you mentioned that you thought your son might have dyslexia, because auditory processing delays usually go hand in hand with dyslexia, I thought it was about the same thing when we took our son in to get private speech lessons and I thought he might have had dyslexia(so did my sister in law and she is a teacher)but it seems he had auditory processing problems instead, and in one year , he learned to read and write and now shows no signs of dyslexia, but definantly processes information slower than what is probably "normal"He usually has a certain look of confusion when Im talking to him and yet given enough time he can answer pretty well.So it should be interesting to find out for sure what is going on with yours...good luck

 
Old 12-10-2004, 12:36 AM   #5
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Re: My Asperger family

I have Aspergers and I was able to relate to some of what you said, I like art, I love animals, I do repeat a lot if stressed, I can't multi task well, focusing is a ongoing problem I am learning to deal with both in my personal life and in the work enviorment. My motorreflexes are slower than the normal persons.

I once wanted to pursue a career in veterinary medicine as a veterinary technician, however that dream was crushed when a teacher with a Veterinary Technician Certification, Business Degree, and teaching Degree told me I most likely would not make the cut.

My resume is made up of cleaning and fast food jobs. After about seven years of this work I want a little something more but am not getting it which makes me frustrated. I want to get more than minimum wage and move to a more self rewarding job but the process to get there has just been tough.

I read a lot and this makes me happy, I read all types of novels. Westerns, Law fiction, war, love. I get caught up in these books.

I have a girlfriend of almost six years that also has the syndrome and ADHD and I love her, but she is a running racer and she spends a lot of time running either races or training for them. This bothers me on and off.

I like spaces that are wide open with almost no people when I need to clear my mind and have many options to this, seeing how my grandma has 400 acres of land and we have a river with paths by it by our house.

Well enough of me talking about myself I just wanted to tell you a little bit about myself so you had a idea of who I am. Now lets here from you.

Best Regards,

KunkMagic

 
Old 12-10-2004, 12:45 PM   #6
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Re: My Asperger family

Awe...Kunk,I cant believe anyone would ever tell you that your not a good candidate to be a vetinarian. Thats so wrong! Anything can happen, you know what makes a person good or excel at what they do,(regardless of a diagnosis) the passion or obsession, heart...drive to succeed in that area. If you have that, then your well on your way already. There is help to succeed in colleges too,if you have a hard time in certain areas, there is help, talk to the counselors there. Dont believe everything people tell you, they dont know you or what your capable of doing. You probably dont even know what your capable of doing, I sure surprise myself alot. Even my sons teachers tell me this when I start asking excessive questions. I find this to be more of a problem, being gulliable or naive, believing what others tell me, which could stear me away from what God may want me to do. Asperger people are smart, yes we have some issues, but so does everyone else! You gotta stand up for yourself, atleast be honest with yourself and do what you want to do, and dont let anyone persuade you any different.Dont worry about what others think, this is your life...live it to the fullest and try anything you want. Good Luck!

 
Old 12-10-2004, 12:47 PM   #7
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Re: My Asperger family

PS..... and if you dont make it the first time, dust yourself off and try again and again.

 
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