Help! I think my boyfriend has Aspergers!?
I've been with him for 2 1/2 years and I have recently seen a psychologist to work out solutions to some serious communication problems we have been having. I've described some of his 'ways of interacting' and she thinks he may have aspergers. I've done some internet research and the following DO ring alarm bells...
He doesn't 'get' implied or lateral comments at all.
He doesn't understand jokes, except for very simple/direct ones. I have to explain all others to him.
He seeks clarification constantly during everyday conversation on exactly what I mean by something. For example we were in Sydney on the weekend and I asked if his Dad/Stepmother had ever been there, he replied yes and I commented that I'm sure they enjoyed it. He asked "who?" ....I replied "his dad and stepmother!"
He is not dumb though and is getting very high marks at science/maths in this university studies.
Much of the time he has an unreadable expression on his face, which freaks me out sometimes.
During any social or group interactions, if someone asks him a question, he doesn't know what is being discussed and gets caught looking foolish.
He will never initiate conversations in social settings and seems overwhelmed in new settings.
He also has social phobia - which I do as well, but after being with him over two years, it is obvious that there is more to the problem than that. Even with social phobia, I've always been able to 'get' what people are implying and been able to follow conversations.
I don't know what to do, whether to talk to him about it?? He is a very lovely, sensitive man, but it would be great if these communication difficulties could be improved in some way. I have been very patient and have never put him down or pointed out his not 'getting' things, but I don't think this is a viable long-term relationship strategy! My psychologist suggested bringing him to a session.
Any advice please?
Many thanks, Helen