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Asperger's Syndrome Message Board
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Old 11-14-2005, 10:04 AM   #1
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karinelynn HB User
New here, have child with aspergers...

Hi all,
I am new here, and I just had my almost 12 year old diagnosed with aspergers. She was misdiagnosed when she was younger with ADHD... which I never felt was acurate. Anyhow, we just got her in, and yes she is aspergers. Now, I am overwhelmed. I need help in knowing what to do next, what books to read to help me get educated fast. I feel bad that its this late in life, feel ok that we made this far, but am so overwhelmed with all of this. PLEASE HELP ME. I am just lost. I have started trying to get help from the state for her therapy. Basically she can't get things, like common sense, jokes, and socializing. She has no friends... and is very negative. She use to go thru rages and thank heavens we survived that. I have five children. She is my second child.
I am gonna go to the library and get ideas on how to parent her. Do any of you have great methods in getting thru to your child? What about chores? do you have them do them? I have always had her do chores and treated her as best as I could like my other children. I know that things overwhelm her so we just do it differently when its her turn to do dishes. BUT I am so lost on how to reach her and get her to realize we love her so much. All the hugs and telling her how proud we of her hasnt' made a difference. IS THIS PART OF THE ASPERGERS? They don't see that people love them? Because, I tell her all the time, we have special one on one time, we have to ask her to join us in everything. Like, my kids naturally come on on our bed On Saturday morning, but she never joins in, until we call for her to.. then she doesnt get the play thing...we try to wrestle with her like we do the others but she doesn't get it. Or this is how much I understand.
I am open to everything. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW AND WHAT I SHOULD KNOW THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE AND SUPPORT!

 
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Old 11-14-2005, 01:34 PM   #2
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karinelynn HB User
Re: New here, have child with aspergers...

Oh yes she is very sensitive. I barely touch her and she thinks I have really hit her. She doesn't hug well at all, socks and clothes and tags bother her.
She doesn't talk much either, I have to DRAG out any conversation with her. She tells us she doesn't feel loved, but I am always trying to show her and tell her. Do you have this issue? does your son tell you he doesn't feel loved? I don't know what else to do to help her realize this.
Does your son see anyone?
I agree with chores. She has always had to do what the other children have. She tells me I make her a slave, but I try to explain, if she doesn't learn and get in a great habbit of this, then she won't be able to make it on her own when she is all grown up.
IS YOUR SON IMMATURE? She is gonna be 12 and her maturity level is like of a 7th grader. She plays better with younger children too.
Is there anything you can offer me advice wise on things you have done that have helped in any special situation with your son? Anger issues? Keeping them positive? What about friends?

 
Old 11-14-2005, 04:57 PM   #3
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Re: New here, have child with aspergers...

DS has never told me that he doesn't feel loved. However, I'm sure there are other AS kids that say the same thing.

My son says that he feels like a slave too. I just ignore it all! He is about 1 - 1 1/2 years behind his peers in maturity. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years.

We homeschool our kids so keeping him positive has gotten easier now that he's no longer in a school being compared to other kids. It doesn't always happen but it's better now. We make sure that whenever his friends do call to play that we let him if at all possible. Again, because we homeschool there's no evening homework so he can go out. He has 2 close friends thankfully. We just try to nuture the relationship s that are good.

Jeannie
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Old 11-15-2005, 06:46 AM   #4
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karinelynn HB User
Re: New here, have child with aspergers...

I have seriously thought about homeschooling, but am not so confident that I am smart enough to teach her. Her IQ is way up there, however, I worry in highschool and I told my husband, we might have to for her attitude and self esteem. What homeschooling method are you using? any recommendations.

 
Old 11-15-2005, 10:43 AM   #5
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Re: New here, have child with aspergers...

I am an eclectic homeschooler. I use whatever works! lol The first year ds did a Knex educational thing. It was an amusement park. He was obsessed with roller coasters at the time. It included social, science, language arts and math. That was his grade 5.

We are now using Linguisystems for English, and Lifepacs for science, social and math. So far so good.

For high school there is a lot of good curriculum out there or you can do online schooling. Most labs for science for example are virtual.

You can take your child's interest and run with it.

Jeannie
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Old 11-30-2005, 07:30 AM   #6
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Re: New here, have child with aspergers...

Hi, I am in the same position as you except I have a boy - and the teenager has emerged! it is not fun at all. I'm confused too and if I find anything will share it with you. I have read some books but feel if other parents have tried and tested methods and can pass those on it can be better than tips from a book.....if it is of any help I feel for you and also feel better that there is someone else going through the same as me.

Last edited by Lily1927; 11-30-2005 at 07:32 AM.

 
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