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Old 03-24-2006, 12:14 AM   #1
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Question Understanding Aspergers

My Dr. supects I have Aspergers. I am not sure I fully understand what this means. Before it was noted to be social anxiety. I know no one is here to diagnose but maybe fill me in on your own experiences as I might be able to relate them to myself.

 
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:24 AM   #2
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Hearing that you might have Aspergers can be a punch in the gut. But more often, when understanding the criteria and defecits, it can be an understanding of yourself.

Before I go into my life story, my theories on Autism, and the "good" and the "bad", I have to urge you to research "Aspergers Syndrome" on the internet.


Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzlelover
I am not sure I fully understand what this means.
I don't think I can really answer this. What it means differentiates from person to person. For one person, it can mean an understanding of the way you act or have acted in the past. It can also mean that what you may expereince (in which you do not like) can be over come in therapy (like anxiety, sensory issues, social defecits, etc.) As well, for another person it could mean nothing at all. You are who you are and a diagnosis can't tell you different. A diagnosis is just a clump of symptoms in which one deals with. No matter if you choose to do anything about or leave it alone is what you get from it after you understand what it means to you.

If you ever need personal experiences or have specific questions, just post and I'd love to talk to you on a personal level.

SGH

Last edited by SuchGreatHeight; 03-24-2006 at 12:26 AM.

 
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:36 AM   #3
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Thanks for the input. I have researched online and fit a large portions of the symptoms. I am 27 now and when I was younger everything was looked over as me having ADHD, then as I got older it was social anxiety which to say is in a way a symptom itself. I havent been able to relate to an adult with this only children so its hard to get a clear picture. Anything you can offer is appreciated.

 
Old 03-24-2006, 02:52 AM   #4
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Aspergers wasn't considered as a syndrome until 1994; even though the the information of Aspergers have been out for a while. And considering you probably didn't fit the "normal" criteria for Classic Kanners Syndrome (Classic Autism), I'm not surprised they clumped you into the ADHD category.

That has happened to a lot of adults and teenagers who are now diagnosed with AS when before were diagnosed with SA, OCD or AD(H)D.

Social Anxiety and ADHD are actually a big part of Aspergers Syndrome. But what most people don't catch is that there is a larger underlying problem (AS).

I am 18, and I know what is like to have a diagnosis of an Autism Spectrum Disorder as an adult. Again, I'm not sure what I can say generally, but if you ever need to relate you know there is someone here on the same boat.

SGH

 
Old 03-24-2006, 06:14 AM   #5
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

puzzlelover- I, like SuchGreatHeight, am also 18. I was just officially diagnosed with Asperger's last month, so I, too, can tell you what it was like growing up without knowing anything was wrong. And, SGH, Asperger's wasn't put in the DSM until '94, but Hans Asperger discovered it in 1944. I'd really like to talk with both of you. I have a lot of questions, and if you have questions, feel free to ask! I also have OCD (the full-blown condition, and my symptoms aren't related to the Asperger's at all), which if memory serves, you have as well, SGH, so I'm no stranger to anxiety!
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"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 03-24-2006 at 06:19 AM.

 
Old 03-25-2006, 08:36 PM   #6
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

hey all i hate to jump in on your conversation but this is interestng. I have some quirks quite a bit of themd that my daughter with (autism) has but since i talked early etc my mom never took me to the doctor about certain things i was doing. To this day i have anxiety and cant make eye contact and feel very uncomfortable with social interaction. I told my doctor about this but she brushed me off thinking i was blaming myself for my child's condition. she said she could send me to a psycologist but the way she was acting i just said no cause she was saying there is nothing they can do now for me if i get a diagnosis i can be on spectrum but nothing they can do now. not sure what to do i guess i just wanted a piece of mind and if i ever had to get a job i would have a hard time cause of social interaction.

 
Old 03-26-2006, 05:18 AM   #7
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Did you ever read the book The boy who loved windows? I thought the most interesting sentence of the book was when they said children with autism are just an exaggerated form of their parents.

 
Old 03-26-2006, 09:38 AM   #8
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Hi I'm new here. My son is 4 and I suspect he has aspergers. He was part of early intervention and he barely has any delays that you can see. He does however have a hard time with peers in his daycare but interacts great with adults. I was curious if either of puzzlelover and SGH had any early intervention? Or is the diagnosis out of the blue? Are you involved in any form of therapies aside from perhaps psychotherapy? I hope I don't sound intrusive I ask only because I'm interested in knowing what it maybe like for my son in the future. Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

 
Old 03-27-2006, 04:25 AM   #9
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liamsmom
Hi I'm new here. My son is 4 and I suspect he has aspergers. He was part of early intervention and he barely has any delays that you can see. He does however have a hard time with peers in his daycare but interacts great with adults. I was curious if either of puzzlelover and SGH had any early intervention? Or is the diagnosis out of the blue? Are you involved in any form of therapies aside from perhaps psychotherapy? I hope I don't sound intrusive I ask only because I'm interested in knowing what it maybe like for my son in the future. Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Hello Liamsmom.

Personally, I recieved no early interventions. I saw a Speech Therapist at age two, but they for went Autism testing because they said, "I talked too fast and was stubborn" which resulted in my speech and behavior "quirks". Of coarse, back then, Aspergers Syndrome wasn't in the DSM and wasn't too well known. And that specific doctor didn't think I was a classic case of HFA. With that, and the fact I had no "bad" behavior problems (I was an extremely quiet, good kid), my parents and teachers just excused my behaviors. So therapy and interventions were never looked into. (So even at a very young age I was realized to have difficulties, although a diagnosis didn't come until later.)

In the past, as a young teenager, I went to CBT. But it wasn't enough. Even as an adult, I realize something like AIT (Auditory Integration Training) will help me significantly.

Knowing now what I didn't know then, I wish I had the chance to go to some kind of early intervention or therapy. I also wish my parents would have got a second opinion with my deficits. Having that early help can be a god send, even if a child isn't on the Autism Spectrum. Helping with those difficulties at a young age can be beneficial as they get older; as well as help for the present.

Sorry for babbling

SGH

Last edited by SuchGreatHeight; 03-27-2006 at 04:26 AM.

 
Old 03-28-2006, 01:09 PM   #10
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

My partner has Asperger's Syndrome. He was diagnosed when he was 18 or 19. He only previously had a diagnosis of Dyspraxia (which still stands, I might add). He didn't start to talk until he was three.

His social interaction is okay (better with people he knows), and he is not really anxious about meeting people. But he is anxious about talking to people on the phone, unless he knows them well. He often won't answer the phone unless he knows who it is going to be (someone has said they are going to call, or the phone has caller-ID). He also sometimes says things that might sound a bit too familiar or go into too much detail. For example, at New Year, we went to a party and were talking to someone we had never met before. He asked my partner where he works (he works for an engineering company) and whether he likes it. Instead of my partner saying "yes, I like it, but it's only a temporary job", he said something like "some of it is going well and other parts are not going so well. The computer system is okay to use but sometimes I spend all my time chasing people up to bring things back to me, and they don't sign parts out when they are supposed to and then I don't know where they are...." It seemed to me that that answer would have been fine if someone in his family had asked, but this guy was only really being polite. I don't think my partner really got that. He would just give the same answer to whoever asked about his job.

 
Old 04-08-2006, 04:26 PM   #11
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

I posted this elsewhere, but I was curious about personal relationships for people with aspergers is it possible to have a close loving sexual relationship. I saw some teens huggin and kissing the other day and I got sad thinking that my son may not experience that kind of relationship. He may never know what it's like to have that first tummy flipping exciting kiss or the feeling that you'll die if you can be with one special person or know the love for your child all of that. Is that possible??????

 
Old 04-12-2006, 07:35 PM   #12
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Liamsmom,

I hope someday I get to the point where somebody will love me enough to marry me. I realize it is a lot to expect of a man to love a woman with Asperger's and a mild seizure disorder (fortunately controlled by medication.) I suppose I should feel fortunate to be only "mildly" affected, but sometimes I feel frustrated that the problems exist at all. I have very specific ideas about what I want for a man I eventually marry, but would he want me? I feel sometimes that I wouldn't be anyone's ideal for a wife, even though I am intelligent and feel I have a lot to give. Most men want "perfect" women.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 10:01 AM   #13
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

9CatMom -

Tears came to my eyes when I read your message. I understand how you feel, because I have heard those very same words from my own daughter. "Will anyone ever love me enough to marry me"?

I don't know your personal Asperger's traits, but my daughter struggles constantly in all social situations, and with the men that have come and gone in her life. She has had SO MANY relationships through the years, and each and every one has ended because the guy cannot deal with her extreme mood changes, her lack of social skills, and difficulty with emotional control. She is in her late 30's now, and has become bitter and worn down from years of trying to deal with life in general.

When she was young, we knew there was something wrong, but no one could figure out what it was. She went to many therapists and psychiatists through the years, but it was an exercise in futility, because Asperger's was not known until recently.

It wasn't until the last couple of years that I read about Asperger's, and started doing research on the net, and was 99% sure that that's what she has had all of these miserable years. I made an appointment with one of her past therapists that she saw in the late 1980's. He agreed with me, and told me how sorry he was that he didn't know anything about Asperger's at the time he was seeing her. I havn't told her yet what I believe, because I'm afraid of her reaction. I'm afraid she will really go to pieces.

Please tell me when and how you got your diagnosis? I'll be thinking about you, and hoping for the best for you in the future.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:58 PM   #14
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Re: Understanding Aspergers

Scarlett A.,

I haven't had a formal diagnosis yet. I am afraid that a definitive diagnosis of Asperger's might jeopardize the gains I have made in the last few years of my life. It has taken me a long time just to get to where I am now. I have had a good job for almost four years and have a good relationship with my family. I don't want it all to go away.

I will be sending good words your way and your daughter's. Despite my problems, I am happy. I don't want people to get the idea I'm not. I don't want to get a diagnosis from someone who will limit my potential in any way. I had enough of that in my life.

 
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