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Old 08-22-2006, 07:53 AM   #31
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Good luck, sross! Know that I'm here with any questions, shoud the diagnosis come back as Asperger's. Good luck, and God bless!
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Old 08-22-2006, 08:23 AM   #32
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Thanks, Gatsby. Part of me is hoping for a spectrum diagnosis. I know that sounds strange, but I feel like it would help explain a lot. Another reason why I hope it is that is because I fear the alternative. At least autism is something I know (as two of my other children are on the spectrum), I am fearful of the unknown. We had a party with her friends last weekend, and it was so obvious in that setting how socially awkward she is. It was upsetting to me to watch the other kids interacting well together, but no one really interacting well with her. She is very bossy and always has to do things her way. How were your social relationships as a kid? It almost seems like my daughter would rather do things by herself than do things that other kids suggest. If it's not her idea, she is not interested. Also, she thinks everyone is "her new best friend." She could meet a child in line at the grocery store, and they are her new best friend. She goes up and hugs kids she has never met. She will talk about kids from school as her best friend. When I ask her what the childs name is, she doesn't know. This happens all the time. If someone was really her best friend, wouldn't she know their name? I don't know, maybe I'm over analyzing. I would like to hear more about your childhood though, friendships, difficulties in school, etc.

Thanks as always Gatsby for your help.

-Steph

 
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Old 08-22-2006, 08:26 AM   #33
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

9 CatMom,

I appreciate your feedback as well. How were your social relationships as a child? Did you have lots of friends, one close friend, etc? You and Gatsby have taught me a lot about Aspergers, so I always appreciate any feedback you can give.

Thanks, Steph

 
Old 08-22-2006, 08:37 AM   #34
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Steph,

I did not have very many friends growing up. In junior high, I was bullied terribly. My interest at that time was not having a lot of friends, but in avoiding those people who tried to hurt me. I didn't really have a lot of friends until I found an Internet cat site six years ago. My best friend through my teens, twenties, and early thirties was my Siamese cat. After she passed away, I found a Siamese site that was excellent. I went from being a bullied teenager to a person who has friends from all over the world. People like me because I like cats! Imagine that!

Good luck to you and your daughter. Her story shows there is a wide range of attitudes toward friendship and that no one person with Asperger's is alike. On one end, there is the loner who can't make friends and, on the other, the person who likes people, but doesn't understand reciprocal relationships. I fall somewhere in between. I am still a bit awkward, but if I find people with common interests, I do well.

I'm glad I can be of help somehow. I haven't had a formal diagnosis of AS, but a lot of the traits are there. I would say my main traits are social awkwardness, unusual interests, and a good memory for facts.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 12:11 PM   #35
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Well, I was a very affectionate child. I've always been nice to people, but never really wanted to interact with them, you know? I read in one of my Asperger's book that there's three types of Aspies: those who desperately want friends but can't keep them because they don't know how (the majority); those who don't have friends but don't care; and those who can make friends, but are, like, "Hello, friend- go away." I'm the third type. It seems that ever since kindergarten that my peers either like me or don't. There's no in-between. For those who like me, most of them just respect me because I'm the "smart kid," or otherwise they're almost in awe of me because of my eccentricities and such. Not to sound conceited or anything, but it's true- my mom's pointed this out to me. The others think I'm "weird." Yes, I was teased in elementary school, but it stopped around eighth grade. I'm sure people still teased me behind my back, but it wasn't to my face, so I really could care less. I moved a lot as a child (three states in three years), but I had no trouble changing schools. Why? I never had an attachment to the kids. I really could've cared less about leaving them, so in a way, my Asperger's helped me in an area that's often difficult for most children. Even in high school where I met most of the handful of real friends I have, I wouldn'tve cared if I had had to move. I liked them, yes, but if I had to leave them, so what? For the five or six people that I consider actual friends, I enjoy being around them... for a limited time. Then I get sick of them and need to escape in order to be by myself. Two of these friends asked me to go out with them tonight to visit one last time before college starts next week. I'm going, but I'd just as soon not. I'm only going because they invited me. Yeah, I'll probably have some fun, but I could have just as much fun by myself in my room or on the computer. I know that I'll be more than ready to come home, very happy to be dropped off. Some of my best friends are on my forums. I, like 9CatMom, can find people with common interests, but not actually have to talk with them. Plus, I can go on-and-on without having to worry about being interrupted or bothered. As for college, not really that ideal of a situation. Thank God I don't have to have a roommate ever again because that was pure hell, obviously, but it's not the type of environment for me. I go for the learning, and the learning only. I don't like the fact that college schedules aren't structured- there's breaks between classes. Most kids like that. I detest it. I just have an hour to sit around and worry. The worst thing of it is that you can never leave. In high school, you'd go to school, have to put up with the idiots, but then you could come home and not be bothered by them. At college, you're stuck. Wherever you go, there they are, ready to annoy. You go to eat, people are there. You go to the bathroom, people are there. You go to a building to try and be alone, someone will inevitably be there. I used to go sit at this one table outside my chem room when I needed to get away, but someone would always come in. I love my professors and classes, but the whole "college experience" sucks, to put it mildly. My mom was talking to me last week, and said how I couldn't wait to go back, but once I get there, I'll be unhappy, and it's true. It's sad, really... Do you want to know anything really specific? I need specifics, as you probably know. Broadness doesn't fly.
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Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 08-22-2006 at 12:15 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:30 PM   #36
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

I was told I was very loving as a child, and that I knew enough to start kindergarten early (at 4 years old), even though English was not my first language. I even was able to make friends as a small child. I still believe I was different from other kids, probably from the time I was born. I didn't play with toys or dolls much. My favorite "toys" were always books. Perhaps that is responsible for my high reading level as a child and for my eventual attainment of a Master's in English. I always remember having some unusual interest. Animals have always been a constant in my life, especially cats.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:30 PM   #37
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Gatsby,

I think you and 9CatMom did a great job answering my questions. And I really enjoyed learning about the 3 types of Aspies. I think my daughter would fall in the first category. I can see that she desperately wants friends, I just see her having trouble keeping friends. Anyway, I will let you know how tomorrow's meeting with the Dr. goes. I hope she has some answers for us.

Thanks,
Steph

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:32 PM   #38
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Steph,

Good luck with your daughter's evaluation. I wish both you and her the best for the future.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 08:25 PM   #39
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

sross- I just came back from being out with my friends, and I noticed something obvious, but important: I had a lot more fun tonight because we went to do something, rather than sit around and talk. I didn't have fun when we went out to eat. That was sitting around talking. Then we went to play mini golf and bowl. THAT was fun. We could joke around and have a good time, but it was fun for me because we were doing something. I didn't have to sit around and have a conversation. I also had fun with the two of them over Christmas playing board games because it was the playing of the game that entertained me. So, basically, I enjoy being around those handful of people while we're doing an interactive activity that I enjoy...
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Old 08-24-2006, 07:32 AM   #40
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Okay, so we met with the neuropsychologist last night and the diagnosis she gave us was PDD-NOS and NLD (nonverbal learning disability). So now we officially have 3 out of 4 kids on the spectrum. A little overwhelmed right now. Thank you for all your help and responses.

-Steph

 
Old 08-24-2006, 08:33 AM   #41
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Steph,

Good luck with your daughter. This alphabet soup of labels is very confusing to me. I looked up the criteria for the various diagnoses, and found that AS is the best fit for me. My combination of strengths, weaknesses, interests, etc. point to a strong possibility of Asperger's. I believe I am pretty high functioning, except for lacking a driver's license (I have taken lessons and performed competently, although I failed the behind the wheel tests because of nervousness.) I have had a good job for four years that I really enjoy and perform well. I would say my main strengths are a good memory, good organizational skills, and use of language. My main weaknesses are shyness and nervousness. My strongest AS trait is that I possess strong interests, unusual both in type and intensity. As I recall from the inventory on Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, "special interests" aren't part of the condition.

Once again, good luck to you.

 
Old 08-24-2006, 01:29 PM   #42
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

I've been curious about Asperger's. But it seems that whenever I look it up on the internet, it always talks about children's symptioms... but are the symptoms that adults with Asperger's have similar to children who have it? I knew someone in high school who has it, and basically, he was just very socially awkward, and the kids always made fun of him. But I didn't know him well enough to know what other sorts of symptoms he has.
Because sometimes I wonder if I have a mild case of it. Mostly, my social skills make me wonder. I'm shy, but I seem to be beyond shy. I have a really tough time relating to other people, and meeting new people. I never know what to say or do in conversations, especially when I'm talking with someone I don't know well. I feel like I've acted in such awkward ways, socially, when I was younger, that I'm overly self-conscious of it now that I'm 24 years old. Does this sound at all like Asperger's? Or is it just Social Anxiety Disorder?
What other symptoms are common in people my age who have Asperger's?

 
Old 08-25-2006, 02:17 AM   #43
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Yes, the symptoms carry over into adulthood, though they may be less prevalent since you've learned to deal with them over the course of many years. All that you read about on the Internet will still apply most likely. It does for me. The reason I didn't suspect I had it was because I dont have severe social deficits, and that's all that articles tend to focus on. The other things aren't discussed as much, and that's what define it for me, particularly the "special interests."
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:00 PM   #44
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

Hope i can be of some help. My daughter has aspergers, she is nearly 7. Before i forget to mention, she had a habit of picking the skin on her lips, they used to get so sore and would bleed, i was embarassed to send her to school! I soon learned that the more i told her not to the more she did it, i ignored it, she stopped, but is now walking around the house sucking her fingers until they go wrinkly.
She too has probs in school, reading and writing. One day she will know her spellings ,the next day she wont. She hates to write anything down but has such neat writing when she does.
Her social communication can be terrible at times, interrupting, being very loud talking on, on ,on and on!If she has something to say she sees no reason why she shouldn,
't go on and on about it!
I could go on forever, i am in no way a expert but i feel your daughter has many asperger traits.

Last edited by moderator2; 08-26-2006 at 03:56 PM.

 
Old 08-25-2006, 04:46 PM   #45
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Re: Could it be Aspergers?

lisabad,

Thank you for your post. The doctor felt that she showed a lot of Asperger's traits as well, but she doesn't really have a huge obsessive interest with one thing (as most Aspergers kids do). She really likes arts and crafts, but I would not say it was an obsessive interest. For that reason they diagnosed her with both PDD-NOS and NLD (nonverbal learning disability). I have to say though, I'm still not quite convinced. I still really feel like she is an Asperger's kid. Her personality switches like crazy too. One second she is the sweetest little girl you have ever met, and the next second she acts evil, mean, and bossy. Do any of these other things sound like your child? What about the obsessive interests?

Thanks,
Steph

 
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