difficulties with daughter with aspergers - Asperger's Syndrome Message Board

dvalred · 01-02-2007, 06:24 AM

Hi, I am a mom to two girls ages, 6 and an almost 5 year old. our 6 yr. old has aspergers, I always thought it, but it was confirmed on friday. Anyway, there are some behaviors that she has/does and we do not know how to deal with it. The first one being that she lashes out especially at her sister hitting her because she wanted a toy but never asked for the toy. she will walk in the room, see her sister with a toy, hit her and take it. When i ask her why she did that, she will either say, i don't know or i wanted the toy. We make her give it back of course. Also, she will walk by our cat and hit her or kick her for no reason whatsoever. i end up yelling at her (too much), and she isn't phased at all. It's not like she was mad at the cat or the cat did anything to her. It scares me when she does these things. Another thing, is that if i hurt myself or anyone hurts themself, she gets really mad at the person. if she gets hurt, she will scream at me and her dad (my husband).

When she was a baby, she would twirl her hands around and rock back and forth constantly. that is when i knew something wasn't quite right. she does not have a wide range of emotions. it is difficult to read her especially other people. i could go on and on about her difficulties but it would be a book! Even though, we are finally being told this is aspergers, my husband and i need more support and info. does any of this that my daughter does sound like aspergers? we have been on a roller coaster ride for so many years that sometimes we just don't know what to believe or think anymore. are there any other services we should be looking into for our daughter to help her? is there any help to teach kids empathy? sorry for all the questions but we are very overwhelmed right now.

iyami · 01-02-2007, 10:04 AM

shes LOOKS indifferent when you yell at her, but she ISNT

i can tell you from experience
my parents thnkim ignorieng them if they tell me i shouldnt do something, but atcually i hear an dunderstand every word, and i feel bad for it, infact i stress baddlyover it, i guess it dwont show on my face but i always thought "why are they getting madder taht im not phased isnt it mor eimportant i FEEL bad than LOOK liek i feel bad?" i didnt understand that They didnt even know.

i di dteh same exact thing to my brother when i was little about toys
and i salways say "i dont know" why i did it or make something up thats totally not why, becuase i dont know how to say what i think alot of times

i grew out of hittinga nd scratching and biting and kicking and all that stuff. well, i pull my own hair, dig my nails into my own hand or side, as a stress habbit, but i dont hurt other people, lost of self controle probably.

the good thing about That aspect of autism, when bullied in school, if someone pushed me too far and i pretty much pounced on them, they didnt mess with me again, if kids know your not defencless they Dont pick on you, and trust me autisic kids do get picked on in school, its a fact of life like some teachers have no right teaching while otehrs should get an award for it.
i even had Teahers who would pick on me ebcuase they misunderstood me.

i think she woudl kick teh cat to see its reaction, i enver thought aboutw hy i did the things i did, but i think i wante dto know what things would do if i did it, possibley?
i still dont Really understand people but.. i can be empathic about alot more things now, becuase ive been through alot of crap in my life. i canonly empathise iwth "big" problems, not normal teenger crap, i think other teenagers are petty and overdramatic.

i never even knew i was autsitic, or what aspergers was untill recently
so i had an extra hard time with poeple
but i found that if i just say Exatcly what i am thinking to the best i can like at all times, things are best that way.

i would get mad at peopel for getting hurt too, and if i got hurt i would get mad too, i remember, when i was very young and sometimes now too. why i got mad? its hard to understand or accept "accident" and normal people,teh second you hear "sorry" maybe you can forgive someone, it takes me longer, i think i would be mad if someone got hurt becuase i want them to be healthy and safe. like being sad or scared or something but you dont knwo hwo to portray it so you get mad like "why did you do that!"
similar to how normal people, if your good friend dies, you have a period where you are mad at them for it.