Hello,
I've suspected for a couple of years now that I may have a mild form of Asperger's. I've always had social problems- not knowing how to carry on normal conversations with people, sometimes acting inappropriately out in public, being rude to people when I never meant to or realized I was acting rude, etc. I've learned some of the more acceptable behaviors over the years, but I'm 26 years old, and I still find myself socially awkward, coming off as rude to people when I never meant to (someone else usually has to point it out to me before I realize it) and having no idea how to carry on conversations with people I don't know well. With people I do know well, I kind of just sit there and talk their ears off.
Anyway the reason why I'm posting is because I recently realized that I actually think differently than most people. My thought process is different, and I think it's the reason why I can't always express my feelings or thoughts in words-- I don't actually think in words. I've always been annoyed at TV shows and movies when they portray a character's thougts as an internal monologue, and fiunally one day, I decided to speak out about it in my Livejournal and said, "No one really thinks like that- in actual words!" and so many people replied to me and said that they think exactly in that way, and that they always have an internal monologue going on in their heads. I was shocked because I don't think in this way. The only time I actually think in words and sentences is if I'm trying to plan out what I'm going to say to someone. Otherwise, I think in pictures and feelings... I don't really know how to describe it.
And then the thought occurred to me that maybe this is another symptom of Asperger's. Like I said, I'm not sure if I have it, but I've suspected it for a while, and this strange revelation that my thought processes seem different than everyone else's made me wonder if that's another sympton of Asperger's.
Any input would be appreciated! Thanks!
Last edited by SentenceDoing; 03-06-2008 at 01:22 PM.
Im glad im not the only one. First off I want to say that I maid a post awhile back, when I wrote a similar thread like you have here. I told them I will ask if I for help but until now I have still been to embaresd to talk to anyone on this problem. Im afraid that if I do see a doctor, and they find that theres actually nothing wrong with me I will feel extremely depressed because I will feel hopeless because things are so hard for me but no one seems to know what it is. Im 18 now finally almost graduating!!!
"I've learned some of the more acceptable behaviors over the years, but I'm 26 years old, and I still find myself socially awkward, coming off as rude to people when I never meant to (someone else usually has to point it out to me before I realize it) and having no idea how to carry on conversations with people I don't know well. With people I do know well, I kind of just sit there and talk their ears off."
Exactly, same with me. Lol the last thread i did here I have said something like " I dont have any friends". Luckly just 2 weeks ago I maid a friend!!! Finally after 2 years in my new high school I maid a friend that actually sat by me every single time at nutrition time. But Ive ran out of things to say, but since I have a few friends, I dont really care much if I keep them or not.
" and I still find myself socially awkward, coming off as rude to people when I never meant to (someone else usually has to point it out to me before I realize it)"
Same here, I fight with my close familey members all the time because I do or say something rude, I always had a habit of making a mistake and regretting it afterwards and making it up by saying sorry over and over again. This makes everyone bored at me.
I have had 3 autistic friends in my old special ed school and they are extremely easy to talk to. One of my friends at age 16 left school for a week and went to Australia, when he came back he said to me and others that he was diagnosed by aspbergers, at age 16. Ive heard and read about reptive behaviors in the autism spectrum. Its very embarsing, when I was 15 at the special ed school, I used to bang my head on the side of the bus. One day my friend saw me and started making fun of me, the jokes quickly ended since I forced my self to stop. Im glad theres someone else that is in a similar position as me. Good luck and take care. O and sry about the spelling, I could spell im just a bit lazy.
Hello, Miniheli,
That's so great that you made a friend! Congrats!
I'm lucky enough that I've always had at least one or two pretty good friends. Back when I was really young, it was easier. But then when I got to 4th grade or so, kids started making fun of me for my weird habits, like singing to myself, and making weird sound effects, and weird things like that. When I was in middle school, I was made fun of all the time for everything, and only really had one good friend. When I got to high school, I had some acquaintances, but it was still really awkward when I ended up in a lunch period with none of my friends and had to sit with kids I didn't know, or who I only knew because they were friends of my friends. I didn't make any good friends in high school until I was a junior, and I know I was so lonely all those years because I just didn't know how to talk to people. After 4th grade and getting made fun of for all of my social quirks, I stopped doing those things around other people and became an introvert when I never had been before. Because I realized I didn't know how to act around people and therefore was afraid to be myself around others. So because I became really self-conscious about talking to people, I just developed this fear and this block where I never know what to say to people I don't know well. I was lucky enough to have made most of my friends in high school by accident, and they accepted me, and slowly over time, I was able to open up and be myself around them.
But anyway, as for the reason for my original post, if you suspect you have Asperger's, I'm curious if you think the same way as I do- the way I described. Do you think in words? It just seems like everyone else thinks in words and I don't, and I'm curious to talk to other people with Asperger's or who think they have it and find out if they think in words or not.
Edit: I went back and found your old post that you mentioned, and I want to comment on that too- I totally relate to you with the thing about not liking talking to people and not being able to keep eye contact. With me, it's really weird because there are people who I like and who I want to get to know better and I want to talk to them, but it's so hard for me and I get so nervous that I actually end up wanting to run away in the middle of the conversation because I get so worked up about whether I'm acting "normal" and whether I can still come up with things to say. And I have trouble making eye contact, too, and then when I force myself to, I just get even more nervous, because I don't know if it's really obvious that I'm like, staring into someone's eyes as I'm talking to them. The weird thing, though, is that I don't have any trouble with this when talking to my family or good friends. Maybe just because I'm relaxed around them so I don't care if they see my weird quirks.
Last edited by SentenceDoing; 03-07-2008 at 07:19 AM.
It's very common for those with Asperger's to "think in pictures." I have a very, very vivid visual memory. Even though I have Asperger's, I have an internal monologue with words, but I tend to "see" the words that I think, as if I were reading them from a book. They're spelled out in front of me. My internal monologue is usually accompanied by pictures, too. Plus, pretty much everything that I read illicits a visual image for me. I believe that this is why I have always had great retention for what I read.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger
Thanks, GatsbyLuvr!
I know exactly what you mean about "seeing words". I do the same thing, but more when I hear words rather than thinking them (because I only think in words when I'm remembering what I or someone else said, or planning out what I want to say to someone). I often wonder if that's why I'm so good at spelling.
It's so hard to describe the way I think, though. I do think in pictures, but more of it is just thinking in feelings, I guess. I mean, when I'm observing my surroundings, and I see something unexpected happen, for example, I just get a surprised feeling, rather than actually thinking out the words, "I can't believe that just happened!" or whatever.
I wonder if this way of thinking is the reason why I have such a good memory. I can remember things from when I was two years old, and a number of things from when I was three, where some experts insist that is physically impossible.
Last edited by SentenceDoing; 03-07-2008 at 12:17 PM.
O and sry about the spelling, I could spell im just a bit lazy.
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