roses4lace

I think abiding by his wishes right now is appropriate. Be sure to let him know that if he does need extra help, you are willing to step in and help get him some services. But also give him the downside - if he doesn't apply now, the services may not be available right when he needs them. Since he's had services so long, he may already have the skills to get him through, but make sure he understands there may be unexpected consequences down the line if he changes his mind. Perhaps he will find a study group in college. He needs to have the opportunity to "figure it out for himself".

In my opinion, one of the most important teachings a parent can give, is to teach their child to know when to ask for help, and HOW to ask for help, instead of the child just waiting on someone to hand whatever they need over to them, or even do it for them. In the years of counseling I've been through, I learned to never do for somebody else those things they could do for themselves - it puts them in a dependancy mode and changes their mindset, and sends the message that I think they are too incompetent to handle their own needs. Heck, I was in my mid-30's before I learned this myself!

We try our best to look "normal", and that's what your son seems to want. If he's that determined, he'll figure it out. It's much better to appear quirky, rather than as someone with a disability.