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Asperger's Syndrome Message Board
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:11 AM   #1
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Suey Stewy HB User
Aspergers

Hello there,

I have recently met a young man who will be 30 at the end of December...he is a loving, caring man and I am falling for him.

Although I was having difficulties understanding the way he is sometimes. My friedns have also met him and think he has come across as ignorant or rude when in fact I know he is not at all - he just comes across this way and I have tried to explain this to people but it is difficult.

I need to know if these symptoms could relate to Aspergers -

Bear in mind he is not always this way just sometimes and is happy a lot of the time.

He sometimes gets into his own world when thinking about things and mulls them over to a state which to me seems wrong as he tries to think of deep reasons behind everything when he does this it seems he is being depressive but he says he is not. He needs answers to everything.

When in a group of people having a discussion we will have talked on one topic and now will be on another then he will comment about the previous conversation but not say that that is what he is talking about and confuses people this is why I think he seems ignorant.

He takes what people say to heart a little too much to and gets very defensive when there is no need too. So has in the past reacted in a way that has come acriss as rude.

He feels badly done to in the world from past experiences and talks a lot about the same things - I have tired to advise to try and put these in the past and he said he is looking for support which I advised I will give him but that he needs to move on. He seems to find this hard to do.

I know as I said that he is not a bad person and need to know if my suspicions may be right.

Thank-you for reading and I hope someone can help.

Cheers,
Sue

 
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Old 02-08-2010, 10:23 AM   #2
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caroleye HB User
Re: Aspergers

if you search for asperger's above, you'll find alot of helpful information about aspys.

 
Old 02-25-2010, 01:19 PM   #3
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Re: Aspergers

Your friend would need to be willing to have a formal diagnosis made to see if indeed he has Asperger's. A local Regional Center is the best place to contact . They will do a former assessment on him.

 
Old 03-22-2010, 02:04 AM   #4
cyr cyr is offline
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cyr HB User
Re: Aspergers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suey Stewy View Post
Hello there,

I have recently met a young man who will be 30 at the end of December...he is a loving, caring man and I am falling for him.

Although I was having difficulties understanding the way he is sometimes. My friedns have also met him and think he has come across as ignorant or rude when in fact I know he is not at all - he just comes across this way and I have tried to explain this to people but it is difficult.

I need to know if these symptoms could relate to Aspergers -

Bear in mind he is not always this way just sometimes and is happy a lot of the time.

He sometimes gets into his own world when thinking about things and mulls them over to a state which to me seems wrong as he tries to think of deep reasons behind everything when he does this it seems he is being depressive but he says he is not. He needs answers to everything.

When in a group of people having a discussion we will have talked on one topic and now will be on another then he will comment about the previous conversation but not say that that is what he is talking about and confuses people this is why I think he seems ignorant.

He takes what people say to heart a little too much to and gets very defensive when there is no need too. So has in the past reacted in a way that has come acriss as rude.

He feels badly done to in the world from past experiences and talks a lot about the same things - I have tired to advise to try and put these in the past and he said he is looking for support which I advised I will give him but that he needs to move on. He seems to find this hard to do.

I know as I said that he is not a bad person and need to know if my suspicions may be right.

Thank-you for reading and I hope someone can help.

Cheers,
Sue

Hi Sue. my husband of 16years has aspergers and has many of the things that you refer to. my husband was great much like your new friend and it stayed that way for 10years until we had our son who is now nearlly 7. my husband suxs as a father but i know he loves our son, he offers me no advice or oppinion and i at times feel like a single parent i must admit having our son has drawn us apart a bit but i seem to be the only one that can see it, so long as he is getting sex then he thinks everything is ok. our son is a spitting image of his father and yes he also has aspergers and i am finding it hard to find schools that can help him without my husbands input i just keep on going. my husband and son have no bond what so ever even though i know that they love each other. my husband is in the RAAF and went he is sent away our house seems so much more peacefull he is due to come back this week after being away for 2 months and i must admit i am not looking forward to it, they fight alot i might as well be a single parent with 2 kids. i am not saying don't be with this man i am just saying that if it works and you plan to have kids then for your childs sake and your own ADDOPT!!!!!!!

 
Old 03-23-2010, 07:49 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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TerryJ2 HB User
Re: Aspergers

Sorry, Cyr, LOL!!! We adopted a healthy baby boy at 2 yrs old. I gave birth to our daughter. Guess which is the Aspie? The adopted one.
It's all a gamble.

Suey, it does sound like he's got something going on that is very different, and you sound like a loving, caring person. I would second the motion to get him to a professional and to be evaluated. It will help him not only in his relationship w/you, but also at work. The things he doesn't "get" naturally, he can memorize. Seriously.
__________________
Married 31 yrs, 18-yr-old NT daug in coll, 13-yr-old Aspie, adopted 2 days old. Poss mood dis. LD but only 1 gr behind; priv school; wheat/gluten-free, milk-free diet; Adderall, Imiprimine, Clonidine.

Last edited by TerryJ2; 03-23-2010 at 08:18 AM.

 
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