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Old 12-26-2009, 04:21 PM   #1
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Adult Aspergers

Festive Greetings to everyone

I was told by a phsychologist I may have Aspergers syndrome, can an adult have it without knwoing what has been wrong with you, your whole life.

I have never fitted into this world, always felt like an outsider. I am a loner, keep to myself and do a lot of studying of my favourate subjects or music studying which I love. I battle to interact with others, small talk that others find so easy to do, I struggle with. I would rather just sit there and be quiet than engage in small talk which I can't do well. I am different in my thinking, I know and have always known I was different, but did not know why, until this psychologist suggested AS. I am highly sensitive and take what everyone says and I find it very uncomfortable being around people. I don't work outside the home because of this, I can't function normally like others in a work enviroment, while I excel when working alone. I have been literally forced into a situation where I am in a friendship/relationship with a guy, platonic, but he has been pushing me for months to commit, I can't as I need my time out and time alone. He can't understand this. I tell him I love him but can't live with him. Living with someone 24/7 is a situation I can't cope with. I was married for many eyars and have kids and got divorced due to my ex messing around with other woman. The marriage lasted because my ex lived on golf course, so it suited me to ahve my own space. sick as it sounds... does this sound like a typical Aspergers syndrome.

I would really appreciate anyones view on this.

Thank you

 
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Old 01-22-2010, 01:55 AM   #2
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Hi, I too just found out I have asperger's. I am 58! Many things you said ring true for me also, yet I can tolerate being out among others better than you (according to your desc). I am just trying to figure it all out. I have had 2 very successful careers, and while the core of the work was cerebral and creative, I did have to interface with co-workers, and then clients.

I always knew I was different too, and have always had trouble with putting my thoughts, vision into words that are understood by most people. Maintaining relationships has always been difficult and an overwhelming burden on my energy.

In the last several years many behaviors, abilities have been greatly pronounced. I believe that my physical health deterioration has interrupted my ability to cope with and practice the compensations I had adapted for mainstream life.

 
Old 01-22-2010, 11:36 PM   #3
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Sure sounds like typical Asperger's to me. Yes, you can have it all your life and not know. I was diagosed in my early 50's, as were several others I know. If the psychologist is trained in helping with this condition, and you are willing to work at it, things can get better. It isn't something where you get "fixed", though. I've been going to a psychologist since 1988, and still go 3-4 times a month, to de-stress, talk about the things that didn't work right, ask advice for upcoming situations, how to handle things that bother me, etc. It's amazing how long we can survive without knowing things, and don't know we don't know. For example, someone threw an egg at my son's car. We quickly washed it off. Later that week, I overheard someone at the grocery store saying someone had egged her car, and she had just left the police station. Gee, it never occurred to me to contact the police. Just little things we don't know we're supposed to do.

If you can find others who have Asperger's to talk with, that helps even more. One-on-one works better for me, rather than a group of friends, because it's hard for me to process multiple conversations. A lot of things we have to do differently than other people, I call it "tricking my brain". For example, I delay taking things to the dump or the thrift store until it all piles up and I get overwhelmed. However, I know that if I just put it in my car, I won't be able to stand it being there, so will do the chore. Each person with Asperger's has to discover what works for them, so we can do the things we want (need) to do with the least amount of stress.

 
Old 01-24-2010, 03:34 AM   #4
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Brain overload, it's like my brain gets saturated and can't take another thing in and closes the door. If I am asked a question or have to make a decision, oh wow! I go into panic mode....I then have to wait about 3 days before I can make a decision. I also can't process multiple conversations, drives me to the brink of losing it all. It's comforting to know we're not alone with this.
I also don't react like other do, I think oh well and leave it, instead of how others would react and get something done like the egg throwing on the car, brilliant example :-)

Hugs

 
Old 02-01-2010, 08:33 PM   #5
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Two questions....Did you have language delays? Was school really a breeze for you? If you had language delays I would check into autism, if school was a breeze continue checking into AS. I am married to a very high functioning man who was diagnosed with Autism (As an adult) four years into our marriage. We are going on ten years! Yippy! He is the most wonderful man alive, faithful and true.

 
Old 02-07-2010, 11:44 PM   #6
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Hi, I was diagnosed when I was 19. Everything you said is how I feel. especially large crowds in grocery stores i freak out, needing my own space is huge, even working is a big deal for me I have always been extremely sensitive.

 
Old 02-08-2010, 07:07 PM   #7
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Re: Adult Aspergers

I have been with my partner for 10 years. He has Asperger's (undiagnosed and unrecognized), his 22 year old daughter has autism (undiagnosed or recognized) and seizure disorder. She will be living with us 2-5 days per week for the rest of her life. I am 38 and have ADHD inattentive type. This makes for a frustrating existence. I also teach special ed and have been working one to one with a student with severe autism. I am exhausted!!! I resent my boyfriend's daughter, her very large dog, and her intrusive mother. I'm getting better at channelling my negative energy in a more positive direction but would like to hear from others in my position that can relate and wants to vent yet brainstorm solutions.

 
Old 02-09-2010, 03:26 AM   #8
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Re: Adult Aspergers

We sound very similar. In large crowds like malls etc.. I feel over whelmed and have to get out fast to where it's quiet. One thing I know about Asp...we're bright people, with above intelligence :-)

 
Old 02-09-2010, 03:27 AM   #9
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Re: Adult Aspergers

They have those things especially for people like you...it's called a " holiday" when last did you have a holiday with just you and your partner, or even alone just yourself for a few days. i know I cherish my ME time...alone time....

 
Old 02-13-2010, 05:27 AM   #10
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Re: Adult Aspergers

hi
im also recently diagnosed, i too new i was different, just dint seem to fit in and i just cant do small talk even though i do have a group of friends to socialise with. i find it very hard but i forse myself to go out as i know social interaction is good for me. i still spend weeks alone at home, i enjoy my space, and find romantic relationships challenging as ppl dont always say what they mean.
i ve joined forums and im suprised how many female aspies there actually are,

 
Old 02-14-2010, 05:29 PM   #11
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what it's like in a world that does not understand you

I feel trapped in a world that has no understanding.
My personal experience is i find it hard to understand a normal persons behavior, in the sense that I don't trust easily, which I think is a common factor among aspergers. I feel people put on charm and are superficial. People with Aspergers are highly intelligent, and we pick up on others emotions and motives very quickly. On the downside, I find myself being a people pleaser, just to try and fit into this world. Crowds are bad news for me, as it feels overwhelming. Engaging in conversation with others is a mammoth task as I feel small talk is pointless, who cares lol
My safety haven is home, where I feel secure. I feel a deep desire to be loved and yet I sabotage anyone trying to get too close to me. I wish I were different, but this is me, and although it saddens me, I can't control it. I feel the whole world has no idea what I'm going through or how to understand me. I sometimes come across as a person who is arrogant or has a chip on their shoulder, but deep down, I feel inferior to others and try to cover this up by putting on an act. i also seem to attract the same negative situations, in other words, I don't learn from the past, I am fully aware of this, and yet am unable to stop it. For me, one of my biggest fears in a social gathering is to be embarrassed, humuliated or rejected.
this is just some of the things I feel and hope it helps anyone somehow.

 
Old 02-18-2010, 10:09 PM   #12
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Hmmm...you sound exactly like me...I must have it too.

 
Old 03-07-2010, 03:55 AM   #13
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Adult Aspergers

Trang123,

It's blantanly obvious you have aspergers. If you don't, they may as well remove your symptoms or characteristics you are describing off the DSM manual.

 
Old 03-08-2010, 12:38 AM   #14
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Thanks for your comments. My doc is not completely convinced, he reckons more like a fear of socialising or a personality disorder. Maybe a thin line, who know's...all i know is it's not cool and I struggle like hell through life.

 
Old 03-27-2010, 08:37 AM   #15
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Re: Adult Aspergers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trang123 View Post
Festive Greetings to everyone

I was told by a phsychologist I may have Aspergers syndrome, can an adult have it without knwoing what has been wrong with you, your whole life.

I have never fitted into this world, always felt like an outsider. I am a loner, keep to myself and do a lot of studying of my favourate subjects or music studying which I love. I battle to interact with others, small talk that others find so easy to do, I struggle with. I would rather just sit there and be quiet than engage in small talk which I can't do well. I am different in my thinking, I know and have always known I was different, but did not know why, until this psychologist suggested AS. I am highly sensitive and take what everyone says and I find it very uncomfortable being around people. I don't work outside the home because of this, I can't function normally like others in a work enviroment, while I excel when working alone. I have been literally forced into a situation where I am in a friendship/relationship with a guy, platonic, but he has been pushing me for months to commit, I can't as I need my time out and time alone. He can't understand this. I tell him I love him but can't live with him. Living with someone 24/7 is a situation I can't cope with. I was married for many eyars and have kids and got divorced due to my ex messing around with other woman. The marriage lasted because my ex lived on golf course, so it suited me to ahve my own space. sick as it sounds... does this sound like a typical Aspergers syndrome.

I would really appreciate anyones view on this.

Thank you
I'm feeling the same way! Though I'm a bit younger...I feel like I have autism and didn't know it my whole life...So I guess I don't have an answer but you're surely not alone I always felt like I thought and acted backwards my whole life.

 
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