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Old 01-09-2010, 07:47 AM   #1
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Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Hello Friends,
My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome and attends college. Does anyone else have a child who has Aspergers and attends college?
Nancy is 19 years old and is in her second year at Mary Washington. She is intelectually gifted, like most of our Asperger kids, but her social skills are in the sewer. She also suffers from social anxiety, again common with Asperger kids.
My husband and I are both very proud of Nancy and what she's doing. We survived 12 years of torture in school. We skated by in elementary school, but middle school and high school were brutal. The kids tormented her on a regular basis.
I'd be interested in hearing from other parents in the same boat as me.
Peggy

 
Old 01-09-2010, 03:29 PM   #2
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

I don't think my sister would mind that I reply to your post. Her son has Aspergers. She is divorced (they divorced after their son graduated high school). He did go on to college - I think he ended up changing twice (so he attended three different colleges). He actually ended up finishing his Bachelors online. He works for a large company in DC and just recently got his own place. It has been a long haul, and there are still bumps in the road. I don't know if this helps or not, but it sounds like they have gone through many of the same challenges as you have through the school years. Just know that it is possible for someone with Aspergers to finish college and get their own place.

Best of luck to you all.

 
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Old 01-09-2010, 05:39 PM   #3
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Thanks Jutebox,
Your response certainly helps. Nancy is doing better than any of us ever expected. She lives in the dorm and enjoys college life. She is majoring in technical theater. She realizes that she needs to be behind the scenes. Nancy is very creative and love crafts. Right now her main interest is costume construction. We were blessed when my mother in-law taught Nancy how to sew as a child. When Nancy was in high school she and I made costumes for her high school drama department.
Nancy really wanted a roommate, but that didn't work out. She lives in a medical single. This is a small price to pay for her success. Actually many of her friends wish they had a single.
The biggest issue we have is that it looks like it's going to take her 5 years to graduate. I don't see it as a major hurdle, but my husband is flipping out over this. I keep reminding him that many folks with Aspergers don't go to college. I think we have to let Nancy take the amount of credits she's comfy taking. Honestly, I think 5 years is not that big a deal. She's been successful with about 12 credits a semester. I say, You go Nancy.
Thanks again for your input and thanks to you all for letting me vent.
Peggy

 
Old 01-09-2010, 06:02 PM   #4
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

My brother has aspergers (I have a son with Autism and one being assessed for aspergers) My brother had a very hard time in school and my parents continually had to fight for help for him but i am so proud to say he now has 2 university degrees, holds down a great full time job, is married to an exceptional and loving wife and has two beautiful children.

He is my hero,

gsmom

 
Old 01-10-2010, 03:34 PM   #5
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Peggy,
My daughter has Aspergers and is in her senior year in college. She has lived at home the entire time. It is taking her 5 years also.

Tell your husband he should thank his lucky stars. It sounds like your daughter is doing an amazing job. Going for 5 years is not too much to ask. Many "typical" students take 5 years.

I do not have any answers for the social issue. We are fighting that battle, also and it is heartbreaking sometimes. Good Luck!

 
Old 02-04-2010, 10:37 AM   #6
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Hi, I know the post is old, but I would like to ask how do you prepare for college? My daughter is a Jr in HS. She has asperger. Shes so smart but lacks what most of us will say common sensce at times. Its not a bad thing just true. I'm afraid to let her off on her own. She's very beautiful and I'm afraid the boys will take advantage of her.

I have struggled with her in school. Trying to help the teachers understand her condition. Unfortunately the US schools aren't setup to teach, just have kids do homework and make the grade. She sits there bored and draws all day. She loves drawing and wants to go to MIT for computer design and animation. I am so lost... At times I feel like I am all alone and she is nearly an adult and can't understand. She shows her emotions and they are usually so negative.

But back to the subject at hand. How do you prepare and how do you let them go for college?

 
Old 02-06-2010, 11:41 AM   #7
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Hello Friends,
It has taken Nancy's lifetime to get her ready for college.
Josie, Nancy sounds just like your daughter, very bright, but with the social skills and common sense in the sewer.
Nancy has gone for counseling off and on since she was 8. We really tried to target social skills that she would need for college. We found a great counselor when Nancy was a Sophmore in High School. Unfortunately, Nancy was resistant to most of the suggestions that the counselor made. We kept plodding along figuring that even if she didn't seem to to be responding to the counselor, we trusted that she was listening and processing what was going on.
Nancy is thriving being a campus coed. It's not to say that she doesn't have issues. There are days where my husband and I practically pull our hair out. Nancy calls me every night, and texts me during the day. Most of the time this is all of the support she needs.
Nancy has some accommodations including, a medical single dorm room, she can leave class as needed (to deal with anxiety), she gets preferential seating in class and on class trips, and not being required to make eye contact. The professors are aware of Nancy's difficulties with group projects, and have worked with her on those.
As far as letting her go, by the time she was ready to leave my husband and I knew that we had done everything we could for and with her. Nancy attends a school that is an hour away so we all have the security of knowing that we can get to her quickly if needed. We also made sure that the school was just the right fit. The whole family was confident that Nancy was, is, where she belongs.
My husband and I sent Nancy to school with everything she could possibly need and then some. She's the girl in the dorm that the other kids go to if they need something. She has pots and pans, cleaning supplies, food to eat and cook, a refrigerator, vacuum cleaner, ironing board and iron, well...you get the idea.
I must admit that I cried for about a week when Nancy left. She and I are very close.
Enough for now. Please let me know what else I can pass along to help.
Peggy

 
Old 04-08-2010, 03:44 AM   #8
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Please describe what you meant when using the phrase "skated by in elementary."

Last edited by words; 04-08-2010 at 03:45 AM.

 
Old 11-18-2010, 10:13 PM   #9
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pegala View Post
Hello Friends,
My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome and attends college. Does anyone else have a child who has Aspergers and attends college?
Nancy is 19 years old and is in her second year at Mary Washington. She is intelectually gifted, like most of our Asperger kids, but her social skills are in the sewer. She also suffers from social anxiety, again common with Asperger kids.
My husband and I are both very proud of Nancy and what she's doing. We survived 12 years of torture in school. We skated by in elementary school, but middle school and high school were brutal. The kids tormented her on a regular basis.
I'd be interested in hearing from other parents in the same boat as me.
Peggy
Hello Peggy!
We also have a daughter in college with Asperger's. She too had a rough road on the way to college, but has loved college and has done extremely well there. She actually has graduated with a degree in English Lit, and is now back in school finishing her second major in History. She ultimately wants to be an English Lit professor in a college/university. Once she has completed her History major, we will have to tackle grad school for her to get her Master's (and eventually her Doctorate) in English, which is necessary for her to teach. Just one problem...We live in a rural state, and there are only 2 universities in the state that offer grad programs in English, and they are on the other side of the state from where we live (3 and a half hours and 4 and a half hours away, respectively). Right now, she is living at home and going to the university in our home town. Our daughter is extremely bright and is an honor student, but the social and independent living skills are still somewhat lagging. She is not driving on her own as yet (anxiety is an issue with that), so how she's going to get around at grad school is a major problem. I think with time and proper organization, she will be able to go to grad school at some point, but we are not there yet. The idea of her 3 or 4 hours away is daunting for all of us, as we have been her support system her whole life, and as great as she is doing now, grad school is a huge open question. In the meantime, she is finishing her History major and is working part time as a writing tutor at her university's writing center, which exists to help students with their writing skills. She loves this, and I think will make a great professor one day, if we can overcome the obstacles that grad school presents.
I know just where you are coming from, as it sounds as if we have traveled a very similar path. Hang in there...These kids are terrific, and I believe (and in fact I pray) that eventually they will find their niche.
Judy

Last edited by emeraldsea; 11-18-2010 at 10:15 PM.

 
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:43 AM   #10
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by words View Post
Please describe what you meant when using the phrase "skated by in elementary."
I know this is an old post, but I too had a kid that "skated by in elementary." For me and my wife, we had to hold his hand and invested HOURS to get homework done. School projects looked like 30 year olds did it because we practically did it. The grades were just good enough to get him a passing grade. That's what skated by means to me - investing hours of time to just barely get the grades needed.

 
Old 05-26-2011, 08:20 PM   #11
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Yes i have a friend her daughter was just diagnosed with asperger and shes been researching on the net about it. I'll invite her to join in..

 
Old 05-27-2011, 08:10 PM   #12
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Just my opinion , but those with adult son's and daughter with Asperger's are blessed. Certainly they have social skills difficulties. But, These are highly intelligent people, with so much opportunity. I will give my left leg , to have my son be able to go to college... Not in his future though. Because he has Autism with cognitive delays.. Although he is verbal and more higher functioning then some of his peers diagnosed with the same condition. He can do a lot though.. But, even thinking about driving , college, and a job that is self sustaining , is not going to happen. He will need support the rest of his life. Makes me a little jealous of the Asperger kids and young adults who can perform well ,go to college, obtain a degree, and be successful. I amlucky enough that my son is higher functioning , but not to a point where he can do the things other people can do and even be independant. My son is nearly 18. He graduates from high school and will only recieve a certifficate of completion. It is better then nothing. he then goes to a adult day class from 18-22 yrs old. After that he can go to a voc. Rehab. for further training. That is what is in store for his future. I am just lke any parent, who wants the best for their child.

 
Old 09-29-2011, 02:32 PM   #13
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Re: Asperger Child and College Anyone?

Thanks Peggy for sharing your story. It is great to hear your daughter's success. Our son is now in a culinary arts program after trying school at a large university. We had a wonderful high school where staff would not allow bullying of any kind and our son was set up as a tutor for the other kids. We were kind of blind sided though last year when our son started college and nose dived - suffering poor grades, anxiety acts and low self-worth. He was suppose to have a counselor help him who turned out to have done nothing.

Our son is driving a car and has a few friends (some I suspect have Asperger's as well because they only talk one topic all the time) but you can sometimes see a little anxiety in his voice and actions. He runs almost everything past me or his dad, which I must say isn't so bad (wish his 15 yr old brother would). Although if 1 thing causes him problems the day is absolutely ruined. We still have some anger management issues and tactful ways of dealing with them to work on.

This is our oldest and we suspect will be the last one to move out on his own. He has made comments like I will always be here to help you out Mom. Makes me laugh. Truth is if he stays forever I'm ok with that, he's a great kid.

 
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