I've been told by more than one person that I sound like I have at least mild Asperger's. This doesn't strike me as a huge concern because I'm able to function overall well in my life...but it's one of those things that makes me kind of wonder. Someone told my mother I was autistic when I was a child because I didn't pay any attention in class...no, that wasn't autism. That was because my grade school teachers were dumber than rocks - they were all women who'd been stay-at-home mothers for a decade and were coming back into the working world to use their obsolete teaching degrees.
From here, I've been looking at various sources to find out more about Asperger's symptoms, and I do have quite a few of them, such as:
- Overall social retardation. I'm not social at all; I cannot just strike up a conversation with someone random, and I find I usually can't keep a conversation going. In addition, I don't like being around people to begin with. I do also have a problem interrupting people when they begin to talk, but I understand this can be rude and I immediately stop myself and apologize. I also do pick up on voice changes - trust me, I'm the most sarcastic person I know.
- Enhanced knowledge of words. I use words in my normal speech that others may not use. I also do a lot of article writing and I find I do this when I compose any kind of written project. I've been known to actually like being assigned a research paper because it meant I could use my knowledge of language to convey my thoughts.
- Hard time with eye contact. If it's someone I really know and trust and I'm not angry with them, I can look them in the eyes. Strangers, though? My eyes usually are everywhere but looking at theirs.
- Several interests. A few things truly fascinate me, and I often will try and school myself as much as possible on that subject. I'm very much into psychology, animals, parapsychology, and human health (especially diseases). When I was a kid, I'd read encyclopedias and I could identify most cat and dog breeds...I can still do this.
- One-sided conversation. I ramble when talking about stuff that really, really interests me. I also will apologize if I catch myself rambling because I know not everyone wants to hear about stuff I like.
But some alleged signs of Asperger's do not apply to me. For example, I was not developmentally delayed - I actually read at an early age, was in an advanced reading class in grade school, and I was very good at drawing and writing. As an adult, I read nonfiction almost exclusively, I went to college for art, and I write and draw for a living.
I also never had any kind of heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, textures or smells. I never did and still do not make friends easily at all, but once I do make them, they often remain friends for a very long time. I was never into what was hip and trendy and I never tried to fit in - I wore what I wanted. Everyone else was in American Eagle jeans, and I wore a pound of black eyeshadow and Hot Topic bondage pants. I took serious issue with people who didn't let me be myself - I actually got threatened with suspension over a lousy choker.
I'm very goal-oriented - I often see assignments as an end-all, be-all kind of thing where I get stressed, give myself a headache and have mini nervous breakdowns over deadlines, but that stress also helps me to achieve more creative thoughts. This might be due to the fact that my mother treated school work like it would be the end of the world if I didn't get an A, and I was threatened and mentally/emotionally abused over school work.
In addition, I also have issues with anxiety and being in social situations. Maybe I'm just a little kooky, who knows.
Last edited by Dark Stranger; 10-21-2010 at 01:36 PM.
Reason: Forgot something
sometimes with smart people or overly smart so they think they are people tend to have a bad attititude and think most people are stupid so they do not want to listen or are more interested in listening to themselves talk. It helps to get over yourself and learn to listen or enjoy what others might bring to the table, I noticed your rather forward description of the women teachers. That is labeling or boxing people. Yes women can be dumb but there are also very smart women. so dont lump people so much if you can help it,
From what you've written you do seem to have symptoms of aspergers. You do not need to have them all to have aspergers. With anything medical you can have some symptoms and not others and you can display symptoms in a slightly different way.
I have worked with children with Aspergers and I would say you have the traits of aspergers, esp when you talk about getting stressed over your work and getting an A. How well do you sleep? Sometimes that can be an indicator. Many of the children I have known with it don't sleep much at all and don't seem to need to.
I think what you need to decide is whether its something you want to persue and if persuing it with a doctor to find out if you have a mild for of aspergers will be helpful to you.
People will always try to put others in a box, if it bothers you and you want a professional opinion then I would encourage you to get one, but if you are happy then don't worry too much.
I need a full night of rest, but within the last couple of years, I've been constantly tired all day long regardless of how much sleep I get and how much caffeine I have.
And if I do have Asperger's, I don't think it's bad enough to pursue a diagnosis for treatment's sake. Part of me just kind of wondered if I was simply socially outcast or if I have autism.
I should think in todays age many people could suffer from high anxiety because of all the bad news we hear of and the lack of wholesome news or topics out there. Our lives just keep getting colder or numb to the evils . WHo has the time to care? I also think that not having a goal in life can be a desperate way to live but most of all I have faith in Jesus the Son of God and He is our inspiration but if you dont have Him in your heart it may be lonely.
Thank you for your post. I have a 21 yr old son who has been recently diagnosed with Asberger's Syndrome. Reading your post helped me to realize he isn't alone on this path. He struggles socially, which is a painful reality for him. Your description of the manifestations of Asberger's in your life was very affirming. He is very similar. Anyway, thank you.
Well, I can't say for certain if I have Asperger's and, if I do, how severe it is. I've always had problems making friends and being social, but I always thought that's just because I hate being around people in general. I was always the person in class who would go last during presentations by choice, who wouldn't offer critique on other people's work, who does absolutely awful in group work situations with certain people, and who would sit in the back of the room and away from everyone else. I like being around people I know, but that's about it.
But I've found that the friends I do make are often very close and will remain friends for a very long time. When I do make friends, I hit it off with them almost immediately and the friendship just blossoms from there. It's why I was so heartbroken when one friend quit talking to me for no reason...but four years later, he and I sort of reconnected online and I think we're on good terms again.
Sooo, I don't know if I'm autistic or I just can't stand people.