It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Asperger's Syndrome Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-27-2010, 10:35 PM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 26
BUBBLENOODLE HB User
Sensory Processing / Integration Difficulties and Employment

I'm falling into what seems to be a deep depression. Despite multiple degrees, I have been unable to obtain and maintain employment.

I feel worthless. I am at home all the time transferring old files to digital format. As much as I am ok with doing so, I should be doing much more with my life.

I have sensory issues that I have come to realize, control my life. It determines where I can go and what I can do for the most part. Despite bad experiences though, I sometimes forget to take into consideration the cost of engaging in an activity outside of my home.

"Can you pick this up for me this afternoon?" I'm asked.
I immediately think of the physical task of doing so and basically think, "Can I drive there? yes. Therefore 'yes'". It's not until I experience sensory overload that I realize that I overdid it.

I was diagnosed about a year ago and since then, I've been putting the pieces together slowly. As I get older, I find my ability to tolerate things is declining and I experience fatigue much easier than when I was younger.

How can I work like this? I feel like my life is over. I feel worthless.

I started to think back to a better time in my life when I was able to work, socialize and generally felt free to live. That was over ten years ago and with that 'freedom' came a high tolerance for alcohol/alcohol addiction. My sensory issues seemed to disappear. What really happened was that I became numb to some degree to them but they were still there. Instead of eating, I drank. I wasn't cold all the time. I could tolerate lights and noises as I worked in a busy environment. In less than two years, I had worked every position in the company just short of manager.

That was over ten years ago.

I live a solitary life. I struggle with basic things like eating/cooking and dressing and the best time of my life was when I was drinking because I was living. I want to settle down and have a family. I want to be the kick-*** professional I and others knew I could be. Now... there's just a lot of people wondering what happened to me. I was supposed to be so much yet here I am doing nothing.

I feel like a prisoner and that my life will not get better.
I fear for my own health down the line.
I fear of not contributing to my retirement when I get older...you know, some of the environmental accommodations that might help me feel comfortable in my own skin.

I just want to live.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Sensory Processing Disorder kimmad Suggestions for New Boards 0 05-21-2008 01:39 PM
Autism, Asperger's, or Sensory tiredmom100 Asperger's Syndrome 3 01-29-2008 03:39 PM
Sensory Integration & VRT's--Critical Subs30 Inner Ear Disorders 3 07-16-2007 09:55 AM
Sensory Integration kwebster Learning Disorders 0 03-17-2007 02:40 PM
Sensory Issues ANGDAD Autism Spectrum 17 02-20-2007 08:32 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:22 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!