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Old 03-30-2011, 12:50 PM   #1
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I have a daughter with aspergers

I'm new to this site and wanted to add my experience. My daughter always behaved a bit on the odd side but I never new why until I read an article about AS in a magazine. She wasn't diagnosed properly until she was 16. In middle school especially, she would insist on wearing the same clothes day after day until they would literally be falling off her or wear her favorite winter boots until she actually grew out of them even in the summer. When it came time to get her school picture taken, she would freak out and yell and insist she didn't want to get her picture taken and would not explain why. I had a great deal of trouble at her school. Since we are very poor, I believe they thought we were white trash and just didn't buy her any clothes and her odd behavior was related to bad parenting. Thankfully, she had several brothers in school at the same time. They explained that she had plenty of clothes and nothing was going on at home to explain her acting out. There is so much we parents are expected to know! I wish I had known about AS sooner.

 
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:13 PM   #2
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Re: I have a daughter with aspergers

I didn't realize it is so hard to parent such a child. I always wonder. My father-in-law may have Asperger's and now he has Alzheimer's too. I always wonder how his own Mom educated him. Must be hard. My FIL was very successful.
Is your daughter good at school? She has high IQs so maybe you can encourage her to do better in sicence or language classes. My FIL knew 3 languages.

Take care,
Nina

 
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:41 PM   #3
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Re: I have a daughter with aspergers

It must be a relief to finally know what is going on with your daughter. All those years wondering though, must have been difficult. She is 16 years old now, probably in H.S. Does she need any special services at school? Is the school providing support services for her? Hopefully she has an IEP ? Even though Asperger's people are average to above average intelligence , they still need help in certain areas, especially social stuations. And transtions to class to class. I hope she is getting some type of services offered though the school district to adress her needs. Sometimes smaller sized classrooms are better for kids on the autistic spectrum.

 
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:09 AM   #4
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Re: I have a daughter with aspergers

My daughter was diagnosed at 16. she is now in her late 20's. We tried very hard to keep her in school to graduate but she couldn't stand HS and left at 19. Her SE teachers were generally very helpful and tried many different things with her. Her regular teachers were horrible and treated her as though she was very spoiled when she could work in certain environments. I tried the best I could but my daughter didn't tell my the extent of the verbal and emotional abuse until several years after she quit. It is a shame because she is very bright and could easily have gone on to more advanced education. Her school experience has left her with a very negative view of schooling in general.

 
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Old 03-31-2011, 01:54 PM   #5
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Re: I have a daughter with aspergers

Mothersuperior, I am so sorry to know that. Maybe she can manage to go to some adult education or some place? Did she finish HS? Since she is bright, she should not give it up. Or maybe some job training can be helpful to her. Sorry to learn about her experience in school. The teacher should have contacted you instead of "abusing" her thinking she was spoiled...
These days kids have home schooling, so maybe it would help if she tries online courses.

I have a nephew who may have some issue like this but his Mom cannot figure out why. He is bright and graduated from HS and he also wins debates a lot. Now he is in the late 20s doing tutors for other kids. These young people need to find out what they are good at. He had problem wanting to take the car and drove out for games when he was younger. Not sure how long he would behave by tutoring. It is sad because they seem to be in different world now if they didn't catch up to be like other kids in school. He tried school/college but kept dropping out. Something must be going on about his mind like AS.

Regards,
Nina

 
Old 03-31-2011, 02:09 PM   #6
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Re: I have a daughter with aspergers

Quote:
Originally Posted by mothersuperior View Post
My daughter was diagnosed at 16. she is now in her late 20's. We tried very hard to keep her in school to graduate but she couldn't stand HS and left at 19. Her SE teachers were generally very helpful and tried many different things with her. Her regular teachers were horrible and treated her as though she was very spoiled when she could work in certain environments. I tried the best I could but my daughter didn't tell my the extent of the verbal and emotional abuse until several years after she quit. It is a shame because she is very bright and could easily have gone on to more advanced education. Her school experience has left her with a very negative view of schooling in general.
I really think that having a Asperger's diagnoses is very difficult for these children. Because of their inteligence , they usually are not considered for special education services , then fall through the cracks because their is not any support for them at school I really believe that these kids DO need support in their education despite having a average to above average IQ.
my son got the autism diagnoses. He is to me, high functioning. He is verbal, but his IQ is significantly low. But having the diagnoses , he has been able to attend smaller classroom sizes and was able to be in the Special day classess.
the only sad thing about this is he only wil get a certifficate that he completed High School, not a regular graduation certifficate.
I was told that he could attend a community college with the certifficate , but it would need to be something specialized to meet his needs. All his special needs teachers have been wonderful, expect one.

 
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