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Old 06-21-2011, 10:01 AM   #1
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Should I be worried

Hello every one I am a single mother of a 6 year old son. I have been dating this man for the last 1.5 years. He has a son who will be 9 soon. I have always thought that his son was a little odd, but I never really put to much thought into, but strange thing keep happening and the Father does not seem to be helping fix matters. ( I am wondering if maybe he has asburgers aswell) I am very concerned for the saftey on my 6 year old around his child. Most of the time the boys play well as long as my son is doing whit my bf son wants ie(vidio game) My son does not want to play for hours and that is when the fights happen. At first I though boys will be boys. His son would get irrated by my son and hit him or smak him. I did not make to much of if as most boys like to play fight, but his son is taking it way to far. Last week I was at the house and my son upset him because he wanted to play lego and my bf son decide he would choke him by sitting on his chest. I almost had a heart attak. All I heard was thumping so I went upstairs to see what the nosie was and all I saw was my by son sitting on his chest looking down at my son while he strangled him. I freacked out and yeld at him to get away form my son. He looked at me and said ( Well he is a little brat ) His father told him to go apoligize, but this child refused. I asked him if he relaized he could of killed him he said yes with a stone face. When asked if he felt bad he just stared at me and said nothing with no emotions. In my opinion this is not normal. I am a pretty esay going person when it comes to kid and play fighting this was way more then that. Also the way his father delt with it really freacked me out aswell. He told his son to apoligize when he would not he told him to go to his room. That was it. The kid never did apoligize and my bf havd the nerve to look at me and say i saw how sngry you got at him that is how i new it was sirerious and let you yell at him. He just does not get it at all. THis freaks me out because this is a constant issue with him. At first I thought he was just a easy going guy, but I am reallly not so sure. I would never have known his son had autisum if his old babysitter did not tell me. My question is. Should I be worried this is going to happen again to my son and does his father have the same condition. He never picks up when I am mad or ****** of at him. He will just make jokes that make no sence. HELP!

 
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Old 06-22-2011, 01:00 PM   #2
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Re: Should I be worried

Hi,
Nobody can really tell you if the father and son are on the autistic spectrum. Just because the BF son got aggressive towards your boy does not automatically point to autism either. However, it you feel that your child is in danger then you have every right to protect your child. As a m om myself I would not leave those boys alone together. They really need to be supervised at all times. As far as the fathers response , he really did not seem to take it very seriously, or he just did not know what to do or say. Looks like your going to have to be the one to make certain that your boy is always kept safe from this other child. It really is not that uncommon for young boys to horseplay and not even know how agressive they are. That is why it is important to supervise them.

 
Old 06-23-2011, 07:30 AM   #3
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Question Re: Should I be worried

Quote:
Originally Posted by mscat40 View Post
Hi,
Nobody can really tell you if the father and son are on the autistic spectrum. Just because the BF son got aggressive towards your boy does not automatically point to autism either. However, it you feel that your child is in danger then you have every right to protect your child. As a m om myself I would not leave those boys alone together. They really need to be supervised at all times. As far as the fathers response , he really did not seem to take it very seriously, or he just did not know what to do or say. Looks like your going to have to be the one to make certain that your boy is always kept safe from this other child. It really is not that uncommon for young boys to horseplay and not even know how agressive they are. That is why it is important to supervise them.
Thank you for your reply. I grow up with brothers so I really do know about kids and horse play. To sit on someones chest to strangle them is very strange. I will not leave them alone again, but I still dont even know if the child has this. THe reason I think he does have aspergurs is because I was talking to his old babysitter by fluke and she asked me how the child was doing. It come up what happened and she said "well he does have Aspurgurs "and had been tested so just be carful. I am not worried if the child has it Aspurgurs. I just would like to know for sure so I can resurch it and see how to deal with this type of a child. I adore this child and so does my son. I just am not sure how to ask his Dad who has not told me anything after a year and a half. I am afraid to ask because I feel he is in denile and do not want to upset him. I feel I have the right to know. It is hard dating with children aspechally whit odd thing happing that I can not understand myself so how do i explane it to my 6 year old?

 
Old 06-23-2011, 08:19 AM   #4
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Re: Should I be worried

i don't know a lot about autism or aspergers, but the kids lack of remose makes me think he's a mini-sociopath in the making......yikes!
when asked did he know he could have killed him, calmly replying yes sends shudders down my spine.
i don't think your son is safe around him, and continuing to put him in this environment may cause damage to self-esteem, resentment, depression, or other mental health issues......
you should absolutely be worried about this situation and do something to make sure it doesn't continue......

 
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Old 06-23-2011, 12:12 PM   #5
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Re: Should I be worried

I wanted to comment about the incident that happened between your son and the other little boy. I do know that sitting on a child and choking a child are not typical behaviors for any child to do. Regardless of disability. that behavior makes me wonder if the child knows from right or wrong. It is not right to label a child as a :sociopath. They do not even use that label in a child.
I think it is ok to start researching Asperger's sydrome now. Even though their is not a confirmed diagnoses.

 
Old 06-24-2011, 09:21 AM   #6
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Re: Should I be worried

I don't know if I'd research aspergers.....what's the point
i've researched darn near every mental health disorder at one point or another trying to figure out a partner.....in the end, it doesn't matter....
they are who they are, whatever we decide to call it.....it doesn't change the situation.
Skip the research and get your kid outta there and move on.....
this guy isn't partner material......

 
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