Thanks for responding. You have described my husband perfectly in regards to the medical thing. Mine has one kidney, not 100% functioning. His blood pressure is bad, but he won't take the three medications he is supposed to take for it, unless I put them in is hand. He also is supposed to take prozac, it really helps with is anger problem, but again, not unless I hand it to him, with a glass of water.
He is 49. I am 58. I am disabled on SS, but he still acts like I am the person he married who didn't have any health problems. I have had to trick him into a Drs office, to get a suspicious mole looked at. Yep, it was bad, but he has never mentioned how glad he is that I got him in there to get it removed.
He wants to move to Mexico to teach ESL to business people. It would be a good move financially, because of the cost of living being less, and him being able to make a good living teaching. Spanish is his "thing". I agreed to go with him, I do love Mexico, and it seemed like a nice retirement option. But then I think about being in a foreign country, with a man who really isn't too concerned at all about me and my needs, and I get scared. My sister thinks I am crazy to even entertain the idea of moving there with him. But she sees his oddness, and it makes her really sad for me.
I can laugh about things now, after all these years. He has gotten worse, about lots of things, and better about a few. He can interact with people so much better now, because I have taught him, although he would deny that it was my doing. But he also drinks, on weekends mostly, and is a snotty, mean drunk. And he drinks to get drunk. I just stay as far away from him as I can, because I am his least favorite person when he drinks, and vice versa.
I love an adventure, so Mexico still sounds lovely, but on some days, well I can't imagine it every happening. It is a matter of trust. And a matter of common sense, if I get sick from one of my several problems, he probably wouldn't be able to get me help. I drove myself to the hospital to have our son. My husband doesn't drive. I have stayed home through some really horrid things that I should have been hospitalized for, but couldn't drive to the hospital, and was too sick to call for an ambulance. And he either wasn't home, or was not grasping the severity of my illness. So yeah, I do get that.
Our son is 20, and starting his Jr year at college, with plans for law school. He has a few traits, bit I think it is more from growing up with his dad, not because he is himself an Aspie. All the men in my husband's family, and his grandmother are Aspies. He and his two brothers. Not his sister but two of her three boys, and my father in law. I was not familiar with Aspergers, and when I was desperately trying to figure out why my husband was the way he was/is, I happened upon a sit that explained Aspergers. WOW, talk about the light bulb over the head! He refuses to go get a diagnosis, but my doctor, who also has been his doctor, when asked by me if she had ever considered the possibility of him having Aspergers, she told me it had crossed her mind more than once. So that is as close to a diagnosis as I can get.
My SIL with the two boys who are affected, had a chat with me, and when I asked if she thought, just maybe, her family had it through the whole group, she said, yes, no doubt in my mind. And this woman deals with two boys on pretty much opposite ends of the Aspergers spectrum. She told me how each of her family members are affected, from her gramma, father, three brothers, and her two sons. No escape. I love my husband, but he is not a person who I would have chosen to spend my golden years with, if I had known. I thought him being 10 years younger, well he would be able to take care of me, not that I knew I would become disabled, I was fine when we married. But being married to an Aspie when you have multiple chronic, incurable, but not life threatening illnesses, HELL ON EARTH.
Keep in touch, please, you understand and no one else can, because this is like a science fiction novel. They are like aliens, but think we are the strange ones. Take care, and write back. I can listen really well.
That is me aft4er a weekend with him.