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Old 07-28-2011, 09:39 PM   #1
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Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism when I was about 4 or 5, but I didn't know that until a couple years ago. I have a 13 year old brother, and when I found out I automatically thought he had it too because it seemed to fit. Later I realized he didn't, but I still wondered if he might have something else...he won't talk to people he doesn't know well a lot of the time, and when they ask him a question, even a yes or no question, he sometimes won't look at them. That's what made me think he had SM, but it always seemed different for him, like he just didn't want to talk to them.
I read about Asperger's recently, and these are the things that seem to fit that:
With our family, and my friends once he got to know them, he'll go on and on about video games or whatever his current obsession is and he won't stop talking until he's finished, even if you try to convince him you have something important to say. I can close my door and sometimes he'll keep talking on the other side, even though I'm not listening.
Also, when I read the thing about people with Asperger's not showing empathy, that fits him a lot of the time, but then other times he'll surprise me by doing something nice or caring, so idk...
He's smart and loves science, and he's been to several leadership programs(something that definitely didn't fit SM)...He tends to take things literally...He acts like doesn't know anything sometimes(at least I hope he's acting), and like he can't do or find anything for himself...He loves to give hugs, and loves to climb and jump and make random noises and repeat things over and over again(sensory things, opposite from me)
Umm...that's all I can think of, and some of these things might not fit Asperger's, but I guess that's why I mentioned them. Sorry it's so long...Oh, tell me if you think it sounds like Asperger's or if I'm just making things up, or if it sounds like something else. Thanks

 
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Old 08-01-2011, 09:30 PM   #2
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Re: Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

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Originally Posted by BreaktheSilence View Post
I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism when I was about 4 or 5, but I didn't know that until a couple years ago. I have a 13 year old brother, and when I found out I automatically thought he had it too because it seemed to fit. Later I realized he didn't, but I still wondered if he might have something else...he won't talk to people he doesn't know well a lot of the time, and when they ask him a question, even a yes or no question, he sometimes won't look at them. That's what made me think he had SM, but it always seemed different for him, like he just didn't want to talk to them.
Also the not talking or S/M..well when my partner has a meltdown..he often doesnt speak for days..and tells me he just cant..even though at times he does swish he could, he feels locked inside his head..he also will not look at you..no matter if you grab his head and try and force eye contact..no way no how..
I read about Asperger's recently, and these are the things that seem to fit that:
With our family, and my friends once he got to know them, he'll go on and on about video games or whatever his current obsession is and he won't stop talking until he's finished, even if you try to convince him you have something important to say. I can close my door and sometimes he'll keep talking on the other side, even though I'm not listening.
Also, when I read the thing about people with Asperger's not showing empathy, that fits him a lot of the time, but then other times he'll surprise me by doing something nice or caring, so idk...
He's smart and loves science, and he's been to several leadership programs(something that definitely didn't fit SM)...He tends to take things literally...He acts like doesn't know anything sometimes(at least I hope he's acting), and like he can't do or find anything for himself...He loves to give hugs, and loves to climb and jump and make random noises and repeat things over and over again(sensory things, opposite from me)
Umm...that's all I can think of, and some of these things might not fit Asperger's, but I guess that's why I mentioned them. Sorry it's so long...Oh, tell me if you think it sounds like Asperger's or if I'm just making things up, or if it sounds like something else. Thanks
Well that sounds to me like Aspergers for sure..my partner and I believe his two boys have it..many symptoms like you described in his kids..
My partner and his kids are not diagnosed, however look for a high interest in usually one or more of the following...science, astronomy, history,computer programming or computers in general..as well as weather, maps and collecting strange things..
Anyhow..Good luck

Last edited by Kat41; 08-01-2011 at 09:32 PM.

 
Old 08-01-2011, 09:59 PM   #3
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Re: Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

Wow, thanks! The problem is what do I now? The whole Selective Mutism thing makes it hard for me to bring up things like this with my parents...

 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:05 PM   #4
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Re: Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

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Wow, thanks! The problem is what do I now? The whole Selective Mutism thing makes it hard for me to bring up things like this with my parents...
My partner has at times selected to be mute..however I dont know if the same of not..
Uou will need to find a ways to communicate this..may write it out..and see a psychologist for a diagnosis..

 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:19 PM   #5
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Re: Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

Thanks, I'll work on it. Selective Mutism is not the same as choosing not to speak. The name 'Selective' Mutism can be confusing, but it actually means that a person who has the disorder literally can't speak in 'select' situations or around people they're not comfortable around. It's an anxiety disorder.

 
Old 08-02-2011, 08:50 AM   #6
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Re: Not Selective Mutism...Asperger's?

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Originally Posted by BreaktheSilence View Post
Thanks, I'll work on it. Selective Mutism is not the same as choosing not to speak. The name 'Selective' Mutism can be confusing, but it actually means that a person who has the disorder literally can't speak in 'select' situations or around people they're not comfortable around. It's an anxiety disorder.
Yeah my guy definitively has that same issue..its anxiety for sure, Im sure its really hard for you..he tells me he just cant speak when he feels this way..his mouth almost appears clamped and he will push past anyone attempting to force him to do so when he is in a shut down or meltdown. ..I now believe him this is part of his issue, many times early in our relationship I felt he was just ignoring me and choosing not to speak, however he assures me this is not the case, I believe him.
Take care

 
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