Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: bowling green, ky united states
Does this sound like Asperger's
Hello, I am sorry if I make this too long but I need some answers, I have been seeing a man for over a year now, we have recently broken up because I was having such a hard time getting thru to him & wondering why he seemed so self centered. He & I are both married but did file for divorces, it always seemed like he never considered my feelings, I know he loves me deeply as I do him, he said I was the love of his life & introduced me to friends as his future wife. In august I became pregnant & I was still at home as he was as well, I went thru a really bad time & was sick all day & night & I was waiting for him to find us a place & be with me like he promised, but weeks went by 6 actually & he had done nothing & I ended up in the hospital with a miscarriage & no he did not come to the hospital, I got thru it & we continued seeing each other & he wanted so bad to have another child, I became upset with him & told him the lying & hiding had to stop so he wanted us to move in with friends his friends, I packed up everything I owned & moved 80 miles away to another state to be with him & he was hardly around, kept going back to his to see his son which I didn't mind at all, what was the problem is he kept leaving me alone with strangers all day & most of the night, he was saying he couldn't leave because his soon to be ex was wanting him to stay until the child was asleep, this was happening almost every night & i would ask him why he was doing that if I was the love of his life, his friends even confronted him about & he would just stand there & not say a word, like he didn't know what to say, he said he didn't know what to do sometimes, it's like you had to tell him what to do. He would not introduce me to his parents in fear of them talking him out of being with me & I said if they love you they will respect your wishes, I threatned to tell them & he never said not too I warned him I would, he was afraid of losing his son & any rights, I stayed for 17 days until the last night he texted me saying his soon to be ex was sick she was going to pass out & asked me what to do, I said call an ambulance or take her to the ER, he said no, so I got so angry I got in the car & went to his house & she was making it all up she wasn't sick but he fell for it & when I asked him if he was coming back with me he just stood there never said a word, like again he didnt know what to say, so I left & he called me & said he was sorry he didn't wanna hurt me, he wouldn't even tell me to my face he has chosen to ignore me, so I called his father the next day & spoke with him & he was not in agreement with us being together, he asked how we met & I told him online & he said omg oh no, I asked him if his son had a disability & he said no. I later got an email from him saying for me to never contact him,his friends or family again or he would have me arrested, I never hurt him or touched him or was violent in any way. It's like I couldn't get thru to him I was trying to find a way to do that. As for the suspicion of asperger's, he never makes eye contact if he does it's short, he always has to have things done his way, he is a very intelligent man computer geek, he considers himself a geek & has been called that all his life, his friends stated he always been wierd, he doesn't like certain loud noises like dishes or loud restraunts, he is constantly wearing sunglasses can't stand bright lights, he always wants to talk about cars never has much conversation about anything else, it's like he has no common sense, he doesn't understand how others are feeling & he always said he wasn't good enough he always hurts people & doesn't mean too, it's almost like he is a child & will not do anything unless you tell him, he is 40 btw, his dad has told him to never talk to me again & he listening to him,he told me that his parents had him evaluted as a child because he was different from other children but said he was just very intelligent. He has a son that is 5 & the little boy has signs of this, he always wears sunglasses even in school, a private school evaluated him before they would accept him & they said he needed a more structured enviroment & wouldn't accept him, I had to enforce the issue that his son was 4 & had not been potty trained, the little boy constantly lines up legos by color builds things repeatively doesn't interact with other children likes playing alone has outbursts if something is routine, doesnt like to be hugged, always points at things, his grandparents & aunts had suggested they always thought something was wrong with him cause he never talks, which has made his father upset thinking they are all crazy, both aunts are teachers btw. So how can I get thru to him that I think there is a problem? I don't wanna cause him to be more upset than he is because I truly love & care about him, how do I approach this? Does this sound like aspergers? Thank you.