Re: my nephew maybe has AS
I understand your concern for your nephew and it is good that he has someone looking out for him.
What would be your goal in talking to his parents? To get him an official diagnosis? To improve his behavior?
It is possible that he does have aspergers, it is also possible that he does not. Does he socialize age-appropriately with your children?
So as to specific symptoms, I (as an aspie who researches this stuff for fun) will just tell you what I think of them:
Pulling his own hair out could be just a case of trichotillomania(compulsive hair pulling), it could also be related to a few other things.
Biting, hitting, pulling hair obviously can be related to just bad behavior for some reason or because, as you put it "hes from a broken messed up home". Sometimes kids behavior like that stems from lack of attention or other family issues. If that is it, a regular family/child therapist could be helpful. I used to bite and scratch my sister because she would pick on me verbally and I wouldn't be able to fight back with her using words and would get frustrated and upset and lash out. I almost never fought with other kids though (some of that is gendered though, I'm a girl and when I did fight it was viewed as highly unacceptable and not just roughhousing).
Irrational fears and problems with certain noises and stuff can obviously be related to various psych stuff, but hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli is common. I love ear plugs and wear them sometimes. I can't deal with 4th of July because of the fireworks. Certain sounds make me cover my ears immediately. I also HATE bursting balloons.
Not sitting still: that is most kids I know nowadays. Also, is obviously an ADD symptom or just a bored (or attention seeking) kid.
Talks clearly and seems intelligent: does he have a special topic or two that he talks about (i.e. special interest)? I had a pretty large vocabulary for my age when I was younger, partially because I enjoyed talking to grownups more than to kids.
Film thing some kids just do but I know a lot of kids with aspergers do that.
Electronics and buttons and stuff can be various things, can also be ADD or some other just general lack of impulse control. I sometimes have a hard time not touching things I know I'm not supposed to.
The health professionals who see him regularly though don't really know how to diagnose aspergers (very often). If his behavior is as bad as you say it is, has a school counselor picked up on it? The diagnosis is in some ways irrelevant, it is just a means to receive the correct treatment. However, it might be easier to (instead of suggesting a diagnosis for their son) try to find a way to just bring up the subject of him seeing a therapist.
Some of it also depends on how old he is, how much you think it affects his quality of life, how much it affects those around him, etc.