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Old 01-29-2012, 03:13 PM   #1
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phish72 HB User
Question Starting to think I may have Aspergers, opinions?

Hi folks,

I'm a 39 year old male and a number of things are leading me to believe that I may have Apergers, albeit mildly. I'd really like some opinions since I've never discussed this openly with anyone. Here are the things that I see as being possible signs;

I've suffered on and off with mild to moderate depression since the age of 15. I am usually dissatisfied with some areas of my life, usually work and relationships. I've had three long term relationships, but they always tail off quickly as I appear to be uncaring and prefer to spend time on my own. I get tired of small talk quickly and imagine being with a partner whose conversations have more substance. My current partner says I'm often uncaring and cold, although I'm not really aware of being this way. I take her small talk the wrong way and get angry thinking she's patronising me when really she's just checking that I'm OK. I walk away from arguments and find it very hard to talk about problems, I will sometimes go to sleep with my partner crying in bed next to me as I can't empathise with her and get annoyed that she's keeping me awake and think she's 'putting it on'. I know that sounds terrible, but I do love her. Her 2 girls live with us and I have been unable to form a relationship with them even after four years of living together. The kids make me very frustrated and I can't stand their selfish behaviour (even though I know that's just what kids are like!). I want them to do everything the way I set out, not in the disordered way that kids do. I like spontaneity in my own life, but can be inflexible with others when I've decided on the best way to do something.

I score highly in IQ tests and can achieve most things I set out to do - I qualified as a teacher and then quit teaching as I couldn't really empathise with the kids and felt that the hard work of teaching them wasn't worth it. I am an accomplished musician and listen to / think about music most of the time - the only time I'm truly happy is when I'm playing the drums (turns off the inner dialogue). When I'm at gigs I avoid contact with the audience where possible and only talk to my band mates whom I've known for years. I don't have many friends, although when people get to know me I think I have what they would call a 'normal' relationship with them. I usually avoid eye contact, unless with people I'm very comfortable with. I used to be more relaxed, but I am getting angrier more frequently and I feel this is because I don't have the freedom to be on my own as often as I'd like.

My 4 year old son was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 2. He is very high functioning and intelligent beyond his years. I scored 29 in the AQ test. I feel that I may be borderline, but am not sure. I am able to conduct myself perfectly acceptably in social situations, it's just that I'm not keen on them unless I drink alcohol (which lately is worsening my depression). In the past I have taken all manner of drugs recreationally (but not in an obsessive/addictive way) to break the normality of everyday life and were I not now a father would return to using them, since they filled a 'hole' in my life, i.e. enabled me to relate to people more easily. Despite all of the above, I don't think that anyone except maybe my partner would suspect that I had some sort of 'condition'.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts / comments if any of this makes sense to you. Thanks in advance.

Last edited by phish72; 01-29-2012 at 03:35 PM.

 
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Old 02-06-2012, 08:12 AM   #2
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ajgrisel HB User
Re: Starting to think I may have Aspergers, opinions?

Hi,

Just read your post and although I'm no diagnostician, it appears to me that you do indeed have aspergers. I have aspergers as does my 17 yr old son. There is a wonderful book called "The Journal of Best Practices" written by a man with aspergers who is married to a woman who is neuro-typical, it is funny, easy to read and very informative. I think you would find it most helpful as would your partner. When the author is finally diagnosed at the age of 30 his reaction is " Whoo hooo, I'm NOT an a-hole!!". Check it out, it will help you to better understand yourself as well as offering insight for those you are involved with.

 
Old 02-06-2012, 08:22 AM   #3
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phish72 HB User
Re: Starting to think I may have Aspergers, opinions?

Thanks for the recommendation. I would LOVE to be able to say "Whoo hooo, I'm NOT an a-hole!!". Maybe then I wouldn't be so hard on myself and wouldn't get depressed

 
Old 02-07-2012, 10:58 AM   #4
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Silas1066 HB User
Re: Starting to think I may have Aspergers, opinions?

Lack of empathy and trouble with interpersonal relationships are symptoms of Asperger's, but it goes beyond this.

Do you have any unusual compulsions or mannerisms? Hand-flapping, wringing? Excessive pacing and talking to yourself?

Do you have strange obsessions with things like lists, categories, parts of things?

Do you find that you are more of an abstract thinker than a concrete thinker?

Are you clumsy with your gross motor skills?

I have a son with AS, and it runs in both my wife's and my own family. I even have some traits (obsessions, hand-flapping, clumsy with certain things)

 
Old 02-07-2012, 11:19 AM   #5
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phish72 HB User
Re: Starting to think I may have Aspergers, opinions?

Hi,

No, I don't really have any of these other traits, but my son does. This is why I think I may be borderline and possibly wouldn't get a diagnosis. Everyone is different I guess.

 
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adult, aspergers, borderline, cold, diagnosis



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