Hi all, sorry this may be long. My daughter is nearly 11, she has always been quirkybut over the last few years I've wondered if there's more to it. A couple of years ago she started displaying tics, vocal and motor, at one point they were significant then only mild. Now virtually gone. She has a lot of strange behaviours I will list here. If anyone could help me with what it all means I would be very grateful.
She has echolalia. Repeating phrases from t.v and people.
She has no real self awareness.
No real emotional attachments besides me.
Gets frustrated quickly if she can't be understood or doesn't understand ie. if I'm helping her with homework.
She won't wear buttons, not that she doesn't like them but 'someone might see me wearing them'
Goes mad and has to leave the room if someone is chewing food loudly
I won't say obsessed but food/sweets mad. Associates a lot of times with food. Eg. Oh, I remember her, she had a jam sandwich.
Comes home from school and sometimes just shouts out random phrase or noise as if she's been holding it in
Doesn't get sarcasm or detailed jokes, but fine with knock knock.
Asks pointless random questions
Very immature, doesn't see to have changed since at least 8, can't really remember before that.
She has been like this def a few years, maybe longer but because of age it's not really been noticeable or a worry.
Friendships seem ok but she is always the one left on her own if they pair up in school and there are an odd number of children.
She goes to secondary in sept. and I'm worried that as her peers progress she will stay where she is.
Academically she is fine average or above. She has friends. Socially seems fine apart from saying random things occasionally. School has no concerns. She definitely acts differently around family etc. but in school is contained.
I have asked for a referral from docs, but if it comes back no, do I fight for her or hope she grows out of it?
If anyone has any idea what could be wrong I would love to hear what you think.
She sounds a whole lot like my daughter with Asperger's who is now 15. If you pursue and get a diagnosis, I doubt much would be done because, like my daughter, yours gets good grades, isn't a behavior problem, etc.
As for "aging" with Asperger's, yes, it has become more difficult as her friends go through puberty and develop more complex thinking, interest in boys and dating, romance, etc. My daughter is left still wanting a "playmate." My daughter knows she is different and speaks almost daily about how much she hates having Asperger's. She is getting help from a therapist, but I think it's mainly something she will negotiate over time.
I've "heard" that things improve in the late teens, early 20's. I hope so.
Keep us posted, and good luck!
The Following User Says Thank You to Brocallie For This Useful Post: 2outof3 (06-21-2012)
thanks so much for replying. i was beginning to wonder if anyone would!
its so confusing, thinking, does she have it? if so, how have I, school missed it? but from what ive been reading, girls hide it very well and it shows in different ways. I'm also wondering is it worth putting her through a diagnosis and label? not that its anything to be ashamed of but if she cant get any help, is there any point. All these questions are going round in my head but I at least want to talk to a professional who can A tell me if she has it and B how she can be helped if needed.
Are you glad you have a diagnosis? has it helped your daughter to know why she feels 'different'? i have no friends with a child on the spectrum who i can discuss this with so im finding it very difficult to know whats for the best. Hence, on here trying to get some answers.
So thanks again for your reply, its really helpful
She doesn't sound similar to my son who has aspergers but it is a spectrum disorder so you see a great variety of symptoms. If in your gut you feel that there is something "wrong" with her you need to advocate for her. There is no cure for asperger's. Just alot of therapy and social skills training to help them function more "normally". Middle school years are tough from what I hear from professionals. Once kids hit high school things seem to become easier (again from what I'm told since my son is only 10 I don't really know firsthand yet).
thanks dismama, from what ive read etc. girls seem to display aspergers quite differently to boys, not sure exactly but that seems to be the general consensus. i gather thats why boys are diagnosed much more than girls. its all so different and confusing i think the only road i do have to take is speaking to a specialist who can confirm what i think or reassure me she doesnt have any ASD. I'm really hoping that comprensive (age 11 to 17) school isnt as tough as im fearing. really not sure how she would cope. maybe it would be easier for her with a diagnosis, at least then she would know why she finds it difficult if that is the case.
thanks for your reply and good luck in the future with your boy x
Yes, for us, I suppose the diagnosis is a good thing. I only recently told my daughter about it, and she's still processing things, so I'll have to get back to you in a few to tell you for sure. For us, it is good to have it for the time when she goes on to college, because special accommodations can be made (private dorm room, extra learning assistance, etc) with a diagnosis.
It's all very much a roller coaster ride, as the teen years are for everyone. I think kids with Asperger's just have a few more twists and turns.