I have a 6 year old boy who's behavior is concerning me. He does not like to share anything! He doesn't like to share the smallest and simplest things most of the time, unless HE wants to. He is very posessive, and is always sorting out his things from everyone else's. He has a hard time even sharing with his friends and parents. He also doesn't seem to have empathy like his friends and even younger sister. He doesn't respond to a friend who is sad or hurt. I am always having to remind him to say please and thank you. I have always tried to show him how to care and share, but yet he doesn't get it. I have tried the reward charts, the praise, now currently I am taking things away from him when he doesn't share. He is also very silly, and a lot of times I can't get him to stop acting this way. When he gets with his friends he does things that he knows are not right, but still does it. Example: At his birthday party today, he kept filling his juice cup up to the rim, and laughing so hard it was spilling. And he kept doing it, despite my words and glares at him.
He can play very imaginary, most the time though he likes to just look at his toys, and play for a short period of time. He does well in school, but the teacher says he needs to take more time on his work. I love my son so much, but lately I worry about him and its taking a toll on me with my having to constantly watch him and correct him. I don't have to do any of this with his younger sister who is 4. He also doesn't enjoy helping around the house or engaging what his Dad or I are doing. He has been seen by a psychiatrist who believes it is an age appropriate and older brother issue, but I can't stop thinking something isn't right. Any thoughts?
I'm sorry you are concerned about your son. Trust your instincts! Moms know when things are amiss!
Now, about your son--he sounds very much like my daughter, who is now 15. She has Asperger's as well as ADHD. They often "go together."
Does your son have friends, or just "playmates?" Is his language developing typically or are there strange "quirks" that you have noticed? Does he get bored easily?
There are some fairly good online screening tools you can use to assess your son on your own. If something is really striking with any of those, print them out and reapproach the doctor. Please know, though, that the doctor will likely not recommend much other than medication, so you may want to research that and begin to think through if that is the path you want to take.
Good luck and hugs to you and your son!
The Following User Says Thank You to Brocallie For This Useful Post: NICHOLE1978 (10-08-2012)
Thanks for the reply. I would say he has friends, maybe only a few close ones. But even with the close ones, he is controlling, bossy, doesn't share well, type behaviors. May I ask how your daughter is, and what measures you took for her? Verbally he is right on, he sometimes can be very quiet, but I think that's more when he is tired, or he feels pushed into talking about something doesn't want to talk about. He does need a lot of structure and guidance or else he can't seem to occupy himself very well. Thanks again for the reply.
Your son appears to be a little higher level than my dd was at his age. I knew by about age 2 that something "wasn't right" and we began some speech and OT as well as biomedical (supplements, dietary changes, etc) treatments, which we still continue today. At age 10 we began addressing the ADHD with prescription meds as socially and academically she was floundering (although she's always been an A/B student).
At 15 my daughter is on age level in school without special assistance, and even is taking some advanced placement classes. She is learning to drive, is involved in academic tournaments, and has been on one date (with a boy with Aspergers!). Socially, however, she remains extremely awkward, anxious, and has no real friends. It is just too difficult for her to maintain conversations, read social nuances in others, etc. She, too, requires quite a bit of structure and a routine to thrive.
The bossiness, controlling and need for structure your son is showing can all indicate problems, but as I said above, he does seem to be fairly mildly affected. You will know if/when it is time to seek help!