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Old 03-12-2013, 04:13 PM   #1
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just diagnosed... 53/gent

Hello People

Thank you for tuning in.

I was at my psych this morning for the news. I am an adult 53-year-old male with Asperger's Syndrome, a genetic disorder in the autistic spectrum.
For me, it is not something to knock me down.
I feel after literal decades of psych treatment for various problems, I can stop bloodying my skull against a brick wall, wondering why I am not like everybody else.
Asperger is not a sentence pronounced. It can be dealt with by bravely learning new coping skills.

Now I can see that I was victim to the tramatizing of my older sister from my age zero, because I was born an insular personality -- turning everything inward.
She made me without self-worth, self-esteem, even thought of having a future, fearful and nerve-wracked -- sure that I was defective.
She has her own problems.

Having Asperger has freed me from the chains of confusion. Now I know the truth about my life! My doc found something that puts all the puzzle pieces of my life together.
Finally here is a reality I can run with, and put my life together as it never has been!

I believe in positivity for the last years of this life I have found myself with.

Do you know what I mean? After some 53 years of extreme negativity and suffering! I am finally not defective. Just wired wrongly. It's not my fault. I am not a wierdo. I can make good. I have a reality to build on.

Until now I could not accept myself.
My past will stop controlling my future.
It is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. I will make a friend out of what I am, and GROW from having been this way.

I will seek wise advise.
I do not have a problem, but a choice.

Fellow Aspies, look forward! Look UP!

Thank you for your time.
stingafurt

 
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Old 03-14-2013, 11:45 AM   #2
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

You are are a Blessing, not wrongly wired.. just differrently. My son, 14 was diagnosed last year. He has been a joy to raise. He has had many struggles in life. The bullies at school were too much and I had to remove him and home school. Thank you for your post. It's so nice to hear from an adult aspie.

 
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:18 AM   #3
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkw46 View Post
You are are a Blessing, not wrongly wired.. just differrently. My son, 14 was diagnosed last year. He has been a joy to raise. He has had many struggles in life. The bullies at school were too much and I had to remove him and home school. Thank you for your post. It's so nice to hear from an adult aspie.
I am differently, not wrongly wired. Thank you for your wisdom.
I am a Blessing? Ahh... hard to accept. Yet every human born is blessing to his/her mother, or so I expect. How kind of you! Truly.
People, especially those with a perceived fault, consider themselve a Weight rather than a Blessing -- yet I read of one minister about the "richness of difference" of people in this world.
We learn to accept each other in their differences, and gain from seeing each other coping and/or overcoming their "fault."
Thank you, kind dear. I am one of many common Blessings. How would we all grow in this, if we were all the same?

 
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:53 AM   #4
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

True words, I have learned so much from my son. His grandparents believe as I do, aspergers and autism could be a jump in evolution. My son taught himself to read starting at 3 and can spell anything. In 2nd grade the class was asked to write a christmas story. My son's story was about a killer snowman, what an imagination!

 
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:05 PM   #5
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkw46 View Post
True words, I have learned so much from my son. His grandparents believe as I do, aspergers and autism could be a jump in evolution. My son taught himself to read starting at 3 and can spell anything. In 2nd grade the class was asked to write a christmas story. My son's story was about a killer snowman, what an imagination!
Very good!
Yes, if I weren't stomped on (traumatized) by an older sister bent on ruining my life, I too may have excelled in school, instead of losing interest in it by Grade 3. Although I must boast that in Grade 12, the teacher only gave me a grade of 99% in Computer Science, because he didn't believe anybody could deserve 100%! Ha.
Hmm. A "leap in evolution." I know what you mean, but have trouble relating to that thought. Could you or someone please expand on such a thought about Aspergers?

 
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:35 PM   #6
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

Sadly my son did not excell in school. I had to remove him in 6th grade because he isn't very social. In 6th grade he was 6'' and 294lbs. He was prone to rages when frustrated, never towards anyone, but he would flip desk and hit walls then run away down the street. He would always come back, but it was just to stressful. Now he is home schooled. He does have a case worker who is trying to help him with his social skills. I have an Aunt who told me that there was a computer programing company in California that just hired aspies because they are so focused.

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 04:13 PM   #7
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkw46 View Post
Sadly my son did not excell in school. I had to remove him in 6th grade because he isn't very social. In 6th grade he was 6'' and 294lbs. He was prone to rages when frustrated, never towards anyone, but he would flip desk and hit walls then run away down the street. He would always come back, but it was just to stressful. Now he is home schooled. He does have a case worker who is trying to help him with his social skills. I have an Aunt who told me that there was a computer programing company in California that just hired aspies because they are so focused.
Starting in Grade 3 I was the quiet & shy one, who sat against the school wall all recess. Amazingly never got picked on. Although I was never socially skilled, I did always reply when talked to, however briefly. Your boy seems to have a public anger I didn't dare. The only "friend" I ever had was Walter D'hont, who was crying on one side of the classroom while the class was yelling at him from the other. I walked over and offered to buy him a chocolate bar. I guess that earned him being left alone somehow. How I got the nerve to do it was pure sympathy. Maybe after that, kids were sympathetic to we both. ... I gather your son was angry at being so short and different. I was toothpick-skinny and tall and different, but too ashamed of myself to act out, well, to do anything demonstrative in school. Home I was almost normal except for sis' causing fights. ... I had a shell of self-protection from "the thousand eyes" that perhaps your son has, except rather than live it in hiding, he darn well wants to express himself! Good. If SOMEBODY had broken through my shell at his age with social skills, it would have greatly advanced my life. If your case worker can find the key to his shell... I would have been scared to have a case worker talking with me. Maybe it has to do with how he is relating/accepting to the changes in his body, since he is so frustrated about it? It is special to be different, we don't have to be a weirdo because we're different, right? but I bet your boy doesn't think so. Kids have such limited knowledge about life. ... Yes, we aspies get very focused. Computers are a popular draw. Electronics. There is one seven-year-old who is fascinated with molecular structures. You never know what will "flip the switch" of focus in a kid. I was a rabid reader in Grade 6, but of course shy. Your boy is very physical. Running back in football? Martial arts, tae kwon do? Something to get that physical energy spent! and get him, hopefully, out of himself somewhat. As a kid judo was big for me at the YMCA, and I was the top pupil until I found out about a slipping vertebrae in my neck. Public swimming classes are very important. I stood at the side of the pool my first year. Shortly I was the fastest in the class, so they put me with an older group -- but I could not abide the older kids and quit. If... biggest word in English. I pray for you and your boy. Remember as you try with him; you did the best you could with the person you were at the time. Give him lots of "face time" and Love.

 
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Old 03-16-2013, 05:39 PM   #8
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Re: just diagnosed... 53/gent

I meant my son is 6 foot not 6 inches, thats so funny I laughed when I read your reply and saw what I had done! Before my son was dxed I did have my son in sports. Peewee football coachs loved him because of his size. But right now he is having a down time to kinda' reset his emotions. Thank you for your kind words.

 
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