Joanne

Hi!! Welcome to the group. You really do have a long road ahead of you. I have not been going through this as long as some of the other parents here, but I have some experience. Forst, let me introduce you to my son. His name is Ryan, he is 4 years old, and he is PDD-NOS. You are already ahead of the game in my opinion. It took me a year to accept the fact that my son was autistic. I spent my time trying to prove that he wasn't.
The second thing I want to do is give you some very good advice. Your doctors are not always right. You are the only one who knows your child. They spend fifteen minutes with them and then they forget him. Doctors are in the business of "practicing" medicine. I love my pediatrician and my pediatric neurologist. They have been very supportive of my decisions. They do not have a choice. I am the final decision maker, not them. I pay them. I do a lot of research on line and listen to the parents of autistic children more than my doctors. Trust me when I tell you, parents of children with autism often know so much more than doctors.
As for the bowel movement issues. My son had 4-5 bowel movements a day. It was horrible. They smelled bad and were never solid. Always runny. Almost always coming out of his diaper. When I put Ryan on the GFCF diet, it cleared right up. He now has one bowel movement a day and is potty trained. Since your child has no diagnosis yet, I would take him to a GI doctor and find out what they think. DO NOT tell them his developmental background. It is not normal for a child to go to the bathroom that much. It is a medical condition. It is a problem.
As for the neurologist, my answer to the question of whether or not your son should go is absolutly. Some children with the diagnosis of autism, PDD, asperger's, ext. actually are having very mild seizures. My neurologist sent Ryan for an MRI and EEG. He also sent blood for genetis disorders such as Fragile X. My neurologist has not found any way to help Ryan. He has found some interesting results in Ryan's blood work though. If you decide to go this route, get a copy of everything. You should always get copies of the medical records, blood work, and lab work they do. Don't tkae the word of the doctor. Even they make mistakes. The first neurologist I had wasn't concerned about Ryan's level of CK. I looked it up on the internet and found Ryan's to be high. My old neurologist left Johns Hopkins and Ryan was refered to someone else. He seemed to think it was very important. I am still in the process of finding out why.
They most important thing you can do is educate your self. If you ever need anything, we are always hear. I could go on, but I feel I have rambled enough. You can always email me. Hang in there. If I can help again, please let me know.
Joanne