Desperate for info - Autism Spectrum Message Board

queen · 06-25-2003, 06:29 PM

I'm desperate for info regarding high function and low function....My husband is in complete denial about his daughter....after reading alot of material over the last year or so I really feel she has a form of autisum but my husband and his xwife are in complete denial....as a step it is very hard for me to understand why a parent wouldnt want to do all they can to help their child to function and succeed in life....it's tearing me apart...could someone please get me started on the right track....

~airforcewife~ · 06-25-2003, 07:09 PM

Sorry, I replied to you on the other topic before I saw that you had started one of your own. Could you share with us a little about your stepdaughter and why it is you feel she may be Autistic?

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~ Proud Military Wife & Mother Of 3 Beautiful Children! ~

Joanne · 06-25-2003, 10:12 PM

It took me 6 months to begin to accept that my son was autistic. It wasn't because I didn't want to help him. It was simply bacause it was easier to live with the fact that it was just a phase. Autism has a horrible stigmy wrapped around it. I always assumed that autitic children must be like "Rainman". My son was nothing like that. After going for many second opinions, I realized it was time to stop ignoring the doctors, and start helping my son. I have never really fully accepted his diagnoses. His doctors think it is impossible to expect too much from him. I think if I truley accepted his diagnoses...I would give up on him. I am just not ready to do that. I have to beleive he will be able to grow and live his own life one day. Sorry, now that I have rambled on, I really haven't helped you. I am sure it is very difficult to be a stepmom. Anything negative you say may be held as negative. Are there any early intervention services in your state? Maybe you could approach things in a different way. Maybe you could explain to your husband that you feel it would benefit the family to have her evaluated by one of these services to make sure she doesn't fall behind. Simply tell him there is no cost to you or him. The only thing it will prove is if she needs a little help catching up. That is what really opened my eyes. My son had a 45% delay. When you see numbers, it sometimes forces you to see the light. I also agree with airforcemom. Maybe you could tell us a little more about her so we could help you more.

queen · 06-26-2003, 10:00 AM

I really dont even know where to begin...she is going to be 7 years old in September....she has a severe speech problem (which is what her father & mother think is the only problem..slow speech)she cannot do daily living functions on her own...get her bath, pick out her own clothes, make a sandwich I'm sorry if this is silly or unimportant but these are functions that she should be doing with great pride at this age...my main concern is that she does not comprehend hot/cold, she has a pain tolerance that's uncomprehendable..she cant start a conversation and keep it going...she doesnt recongize other peoples feelings...like I've never heard her say excuse me, I'm sorry...the biggest concern is her short term memory...for instance we came home from her soccer game at which she scored a goal so my husband had her call her grandma to tell her about scoring the goal...it wasnt even a minute later that my husband called his mother back and she said I want to tell grandma about my goal..this happens all the time...there's also the issue that she does not play with children her own age "if" she plays with them at all, there could be 15 kids out in the yard and she wants to stay in the house...and she has a terrible obsession with her younger sister....her mom and dad have been divorced since she was 2 her schedule has been as follows for the last 5 years Mon, Wed and everyother weekend she has seen her dad for the last 5 years, she has no idea what days she comes or goes...why doesnt that concern them???? I hope at least some of this makes sense....I hope you can help me....

Oma61 · 06-26-2003, 10:06 AM

Yes, please share more info about your daughter! I have a 7 year old daughter diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and sometimes I am just not too sure about the diagnosis being correct! PDD's do seem to vary a lot!

Originally when my daughter was young (2-3) she did act pretty autistic (head banging, unitelligable jabbering, echoing, spinning, no response to pain, no response to her name, no response to other's emotions, a fascination with holes, a fascination with dropping small objects in any hole she could find, ignoring other kids to drop things in holes!). She was diagnosed at 3 with PDD-NOS. I took her to language therapy for 1 1/2 years and her language REALLY came along. I took her to OT. She was enrolled in the school district's Developmental preschool for 2 years. All along she has been maturing and becoming more "normal". When she was 6 she was diagnosed by a different doctor with Asperger Syndrome. At first I thought it really fit, but now as time goes by I am really questioning the diagnosis mainly because she seems so normal...but then not normal too!! She can converse fairly well now, has started getting dressed herself, she has a couple of playmates, she shows emotions, these are all good, normal things. But, she is very negative and irritable, she only wants to be at home, she only wants to play with her one or two friends...no one else, she has learning disabilities and is in special ed part of the day, she has trouble explaining anything, she is very hyper, very loud, she doesn't play organized games well at all, she never in her life has ever played with a doll, she does not play dress ups, she hates having her hair brushed, she is unintentionally mean to animals and cannot leave them alone, she will ignore playmtes to play with an animal...but not play with it like normal, play with it like an object with no thought to how she may be inflicting pain to it! Sometimes I think she has REALLY severe ADHD with learning disabilities and sometimes I think she has Childhood Bipolar (my sister is a diagnosed Bipolar person...on heavy meds and disabled by the condition). Regardless of the diagnosis, we just try to help develop as normally as possible so she will lead a normal life. I, too, am desperate for information regarding high functioning and low functioning autism. How high functioning can you be before you are just considered "normal"? Any thoughts or replies are appreciated, and queen, I hope you find the answers to the your questions...sorry, I am not much help...I am loaded with questions myself!

Best wishes...