Queen seeking airforcewife and Joanne - Autism Spectrum Message Board

queen · 06-26-2003, 04:56 PM

I posted some of the symptons on the thread "Desperate for info"...just waiting for a reply....I really want to talk with other people who understand what I'm going through and help lead me in a direction to help this child live on her own...thank you for your response in advance....

~airforcewife~ · 06-27-2003, 01:36 AM

Hi there!

Sorry it took me so long to reply. After reading about your stepdaughter, it really does sound like she has some issues. I know you might not want to interfere to the point of ticking off your husband and his ex, but you really do need to throw it at them. A child her age should be able to do normal daily functions and from what you've described, she just can't. Her parents need to realize that she should be doing so much more than what she can do.

Whether it be Autism or something else, she needs to be seen and diagnosed so she can get the proper help early on. Every child deserves that. You could always print this out to show your hubby.

My 7 year old daughter has Asperger's Syndrome. She is high functioning and can do much of the things other kids her age can do. Some thing's she can't yet do alone are bathing, going to the bathroom (I still have to wipe her), making a sandwich, small things like that. She does the humming, she rocks, sometimes it seems as if she's looking right through us. She does have some problems with her speech. She has very little friends and she just doesn't care that she doesn't. She prefers to be inside much of the time, unless we drag her outside. She eats certain foods and WILL NOT try anything new. Basically, the list goes on and on....

She has also been diagnosed with OCD and WPW (heart condition). I'll write some more tomorrow!

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~ Proud Military Wife & Mother Of 3 Beautiful Children! ~

queen · 06-27-2003, 06:42 AM

Thank you so much for replying, I need all the information I can get.....airforcewife I just dont know how in the world I can get them to open their eyes, she's going into the first grade and I know that she is already behind so they might as well just throw her to the wolves....my husband is very offended when I mention anything.....I mean he's in complete denial along with the rest of his family...

She just started to wipe herself because I refused to do it and told my husband that it was ridiculous if he kept doing it, I mean they dont think there is a problem....but I about died the other day when she didnt even know how to make a sandwich, my 8 year old son walked her through it, how sad....I really think they have waited too long to start some intervention, even though she functions for the most part like a normal child in the physical capacity, something in that head of hers just doesnt conect....another thing how does your daughter act at birthdays christmas or other holidays that she receives gifts....I'm curious...I hope to hear from you soon...please know how grateful I am that you will share with me....

Pandabaire3 · 06-27-2003, 07:02 AM

Queen, I've read your posts and there are similar traits that my high function son (5 years old) and your step daughter have in common. I'm not a professional of any sort in regards to diagnosing autism, but it sure wouldn't surprise me if this child was diagnosed with high function or PDD.

I don't really know what to tell you because I think it's diplorable that these parents wouldn't get the necessary help needed for this child - all in the name of vanity - basically because THEIR too GOOD to have an austic child....that happens to OTHER people. (rolls eyes)

I think it would be of some importance to find out a few things about the families of both the child's mother and father - for instance, are there any cases of learning disabilities of any kind, in a cousin, aunt, uncle, sister or brother of the parents or their children...is there any sort of history of depression in the families by any one at all - grandparents, parents, siblings of parents, their kids and so on. For example, depression runs on my side of the family and I even suffered with post partum depression after my son's birth. Both my husband's family and my family have had members that had delays in learning for some reason. My husband's cousin also has a son who has been diagnosed as autistic. Chances are very high that there is SOMETHING in the family background of either the mother or father of this little girl that will point into the autistic spectrum direction if she indeed DOES have autism.

I do know that early intervention is the key and unfortunatly, at her age, the main damage might be done. I don't know....your husband is in denial about it and won't get her properly diagnosed..and if she isn't properly diagnosed, the school system cannot help her in the proper way that she should be helped as far as getting her into speech therapy and other things.

Would it possibly help you to print out your questions and all the responses you've gotten and then show him? Tell him to read them over very carefully and be honest with himself about her abilities and every day fuctioning? That poor girl is going to eventually sink to the bottom because socially she will be outcast - that's not healthy and it cannot be good for self esteem as she gets older.

I wish you (and your step daughter) lots of luck with this.
Tonya

queen · 06-27-2003, 08:07 AM

Thank you for you post...

I had written a long message earlier then my computer went down....so I'll write a shorter one this time..

Yes it is a shame that they are in denial and yes I do think there is alot of damage already done at this point to correct it to the point of her being able to live on her own...really...

I've been reading alot of articles on the internet regarding this Asperger....she exhibits alot if not all of the same charcteristics...

Here are some more of the things she does that really concern me...

When she is doing her ABC's she has to start at the beginning to find out where she is...like if she is on "J" instead of just knowing that the next letter is "K" she has to go back to "A" to get to the next letter and she has to continue this process until she is done....

She's a drooler, she has poor table habits, poor I mean since she'll be in the first grade she will have the opportunity to eat lunch at school, she will look like a mess...my 16 month old daughter doesnt get as messy as she does....it's amazing that her parents arent concerned about any of these daily functions.

She is definately going to be a great target for bullying if she already isnt but she doesnt even have the comprehending ability to know if someone is making fun of her or not so who knows what is going on at school....

I think I've said this before but she has an IEP for speech. I dont know how in the world she is going to make it through the first grade....10 spelling words a week, 15 vocabulary words a week, 2 math papers every night, and 3 stories a week, she cant even talk right let alone be able to read and comprehend all the other info....do teachers look at these issues...why hasnt her pediatrician seen these problems???? I just can't believe they can't see this...

I would love to be able to approach my husband with all this info but it wouldnt make a difference...he'd say it's just a "phase" or tell me she just has "slow speech" I'm not the only one who sees this, her babysitter has talked to me about it, my mother has talked with me about it and some lady I hadnt seen in years ask me about her and if she was in any programs..of course she's not...she gets maybe 20 minutes of speech theapy a week in a group setting at school....that's good enough right, especially when you really can understand a word she says....oh, another thing she does is she does not use the words "he" or "she" she says "him" and "her".....and no one corrects her but me....and sometimes I get so frustrated with my husband and his family that they dont correct her I just let her use the words inappropriately....I feel horrible but my hands are tied at this point....

Thanks again for the post and letting me vent and tell more of my story...please reply I need the validation and advise.....God Bless all of you for your strenght to share.......