an uncle's concern - Autism Spectrum Message Board

laramus · 09-01-2004, 05:35 AM

hi. first time here. i am writing because i am concerned my nephew Derek may be autistic but his parents don't appear to be open to talking about it, so i don't bring it up anymore (i did once and they were slightly defensive). anyway, the patterns that i notice with him are: his preccupation with different objects--he doesn't show much interest in toys, but whenever he visits us, he goes directly into the bathroom, climbs into the tub, and grabs the bar of soap. then he'll walk around the house with it. he also has a fascination with mirrors. he turned two three months ago and is not yet really talking--he does have some repetative stuff he says--like repeating phrases he's heard on TV---but he doesn't seem to interact with others much and he appears to be selective about what/who he responds to.....he also walks around with his right hand held up by the side of his face (as if he's about to deliver a karate chop).....he is fascinated with water......he plays in the dog's water dish and, at a family cookout last week, he had to be watched because he was found to be sticking his tongue in the birdbath several times.....i guess all this doesn't sound all that dramatic, and i suppose as he gets older it will become more apparent if he is autistic, but i just wish his parents were open to having him evaluated. any thoughts or suggestions would be most welcome. thanks much. Larry

Susie0926 · 09-01-2004, 07:51 AM

It sounds to me like you have tried. My nephew, Jesse was diagnosed earlier this year and he is now 4. My sister and I had a hard time trying to decide if we should talk to our other sister (the mother of Jesse). We both have 6 children between us and our younger sister has only Jesse. We thought something was not quite right because his behavior was so different from our children. He was not social at all, and was fixated on opening and closing doors, watching ceiling fans, and also has so many routines he follows and can't handle a change in it. We were afraid to talk to her because we thought she would take it the wrong way. Another aunt (sister to her husband) did talk to her and to our surprise my sister was never negative about it. Her husband was kind of in denial about it, but I believe he finally understands. I wish I had talked to my sis earlier instead of being so worried about it. My advice would be to keep trying to get through to them and see if others in your family could try to support you with this. I believe that the earler you catch it the better it is for the child. I am very proud of how my sister is handling things and doing everything possible for Jesse. She is even trying to start a local support group for parents of children with disabilities. Hang in there and keep trying to get through!