What's life like with older children? - Autism Spectrum Message Board

phow · 09-28-2004, 01:55 AM

I have a 5yr old ASD daughter and I find myself often imagining what life with her would be like in the future when she is older. Most of the time, I worry about the uncertainties the future brings.

For those of you with older kids, maybe those in their teens, how you manage them? Do you take your kids out a lot? How do you handle them in public? Do you ever go out and leave them at home alone, even for a while? Do you still have time for yourself? Now that they are physically stronger, is it tough managing their tantrums or hyperactivity? I saw in the paper the other day a picture of a mother putting her 14 yr old son on a leash because she constantly fears he will run off when they go out. That made me real depressed.

dj[pat] · 09-28-2004, 05:37 PM

My son is 18yr. now. He really is autistic-like the Rainman. He is 340 lbs. and 6'5". I do take him out with me to malls and dining ect. He has gotten better with age. He used to run alot. Now he stays with me-unless he sees a tv... then, he's off.Sometimes, there are tantrums but you learn to deal with it. I do know I do not let people staring bother me anymore. I am proud of my son and dare anyone to tell me otherwise. I can't leave him alone at home because he has a mind of his own and may take off. He has run away 2x before. Since he has no fear of cars or danger, and is pretty much non-verbal, I have to watch him. He has mellowed in his yrs. and basically goes to school, comes home, eats and spends the night in his room with 10 radios,atv,vcr and whatever.Loves his electronics.He's a good boy.He loves going places in cars or buses. I've taken him to NYC,Philli,The Bronx Zoo,Washington,D.C. ect. He was GREAT! My hubby, on the other hand, just whined continually. Next trip...I left hubby home.It was much more fun. Every child is different. You'll have to judge yourself. Mine is on prozac which does help his compulsive behaviors. But he has slowed down with age and turned to the things that interrest him. Take it one day at a time and don't worry. Enjoy your child for what he/she is. And forget about what people think. I stare right back at them. dj[pat]

mudhound · 09-28-2004, 06:59 PM

hang in there! Let the people who stare just stare. I would show them my bare BU**. Moon them that is.

phow · 09-29-2004, 01:59 AM

Thanks, Pat for sharing your experiences.
I have a phobia of bringing my daughter on flights for holidays because I really don’t know how she’d react in a plane. We haven't been anywhere that requires flying since she was diagnosed. It’s really nice to see how you are enjoying your son so much and your time together with him.

- Pam

I Love LJC · 09-30-2004, 12:34 AM

Hi my daughter is 8 with high functioning autism now. She use to have it real bad she has out grown alot of it. I worried about what people thought when i took her places.I think it bothered me more like i didnt want to disturb them. Believe me when she was younger she would have melt downs every where i took her .I had to bite my lip and go for it anyway and expose her to the world it was a battle but worth it . I believe by doing this ,getting her out where she has every right to be she wouldnt be where she is today. She had to learn being outside just like everyone else.Her nervous system just took a little more time to develop and get use to things around her..She has no problems what so ever now.I took her to see Fleetwood Mac she asked me to take her she loves Stevie Nicks and she loved being there .Yes she does the twirl too like Stevie.She did use Ear Plugs though to be on the safe side. Next she wants me to take her to Paul Mc Cartney

. She goes all over the place now.She use to freakout and cover her ears with any loud noise especially airplanes flying over.Today she is doing great

My Best to Everyone.