Matt's progress - Autism Spectrum Message Board

matt'smom · 10-01-2004, 07:13 PM

Hi All!

It's been so long since I visited. My computer at home was being repaired, and I am just able to post tonight.

Matt turned 3 in August, and started a new preschool, where he receives OT
speech and ABA. the class has 5 children, all on the spectrum. They are all
verbal, though not yet "conversational". He cried a lot the first 2 weeks, because he was in a regular day care center up to 1 week before starting
the new special ed school.

Here's my dilemma; He is working SOO hard. I feel so bad for him. He's only 3, and he should be playing at school, with some learning intermingled. At this school, it is constant drilling. I know that's waht he needs, but he learned so many new things over the summer with all the EI services, including ABA, that I wonder if he is on the spectrum at all. Can a child with autism learn to sustain eye contact after 3 weeks of ABA? He has been in services now for 5 months, and really done wonderfully. I am so happy.

I just wonder if he would have improved on his own, with age. He responds when called now, most of the time. He still cannot hold a conversation, but he is learning new words. He still can't answer yes/no questions, or nod.
He seems to answer things by association. For example, if I ask him,"what did you do at school today?' he'll say "Carol", which is his teacher's name.

Still no imaginative play, or socializing with other children his age, but he is more responsive to certain adults. His language is getting more appropriate, but is sometimes ideosyncratic. He'll say "bye bye chickens", if he wants his dad (too cute). Or, "it's okay Andrew", when he's upset (andrew is my older son's friend) I know what he means. He jumps and flaps when happy, too,
but that is not quite as often.

He doesn't mind hugs, smiles a lot. I guess I've forgotten what 3 year olds act like, since my older 2 are 8 years older. The kids in his regular day care were very social, and spoke very well. My friend's 3 year old talks like a little lady, but I know not to compare.

What do you guys think? Could he be a just a late bloomer? I just don't know if I'm putting too much on him. Is it my fault that he can't use his imagination? Is it my fault that his language is so off? Is it my fault that he's so shy? I feel responsible sometimes because I'm so busy with 3 kids and a full time job, that maybe I didn't put so much time into "teaching" him these things.

Anyway, thanks for your ears>

Matt'smom

KathleenW · 10-02-2004, 05:59 AM

I am glad Matt has made a lot of progress. I think if you are worried about him not playing enough that you should set up play dates with him and a friend several days a week. Does Matt get speech therapy? If he does, that would be another source of playing. At age 3, speech therapists teach speech through play. I have never known a speech therapist that uses drills. I agree that life is not all about drills. It is very important that the parents are aware of what there children are learning at school. They should be using what they learn in school in a natural setting (generalization).

As far as your son being a late bloomer, I think if I remember your story correctly you got three seperate diagnosis for Matt that all came back as him having autism. That leads me to believe that the diagnosis is corect. People do not throw around the term autistic lightly. It is a very serious life long condition.

To answer your question if all of this is your fault. The answer is of course not. No one can cause autism. You can however try to work with your son every spare second. It will make a huge difference!!!!!

matt'smom · 10-02-2004, 02:41 PM

Hi there!

Thank you for your response and support. I try to work with him as much as I can, but I have to tell you that I have a rough time of it. He's not very engaging in activities. I buy him age appropriate toys, but he's not interested. I talk to him all the time, though. I try to apply some ABA technique when I'm with him. I did sign him up for a gym class, and I have his cousins over at least 2x weekly to play, even though he shows no interest. I know one day he will.

Anyway, I guess I still go through my "hysteria", and hope that the dx was wrong. You guys are always so supportive. It's hard when no one knows what I'm feeling. They just say "Tough Love". He's not a drug addict, he's a 3 year old child!! Anyway, I thank you, and I'm sorry for my constant state of denial. I just want him to grow up happy, and never feeling lonely. I know that we all feel that way!!

Matt's mom

shue · 10-04-2004, 06:24 AM

He will be happier when he can engage successfully in the world around him. We always joke that Abby is the hardest woring three year old we know, LOL. Yes, she is in ABA for 35 hours a week and then OT for another 3. Yes, we are always practicing therapy with her. If she is awake, she is basically working. Is it hard? Yup. Do I wish her childhood was easier or more typical? Of course. But I firmly believe we would do her a far graver disservice if we were not intervening so aggressively right now. There is a limited window of opportunity with autism. She has made a 180 since she began therapy. Nothing short of a miracle. Try to look at it like this...if he had diabetes and needed shots 3 times a day and his sugar checked even more often, would you not do those things because they aren't fun? Of course not! You would do it because it is what will keep him alive and enable him to lead a productive and hopefully happy life. I see ABA, OT, all the vitamins, etc the same way. Every bit as essential to Abby's well-being as insulin and diet control for a diabetic.
It is hard to fully accept this dx. I think it is natural to question it, especially when you see progress. Be grateful for the progress and be encouraged by his prognosis! Happier days are ahead.

Don't give in and don't give up.
((hugs))